Friday, November 12, 2010

Back by popular fucking demand...


I thought my career as a blogger might have come to an end and then my boy Steve-O jumps in talkin about how he's all depressed and shit that he hasn't seen Easy E's picks in a few weeks. You know I can't like Steve-O down so these are for you my man:

Texans +1.5 @ Jacksonville: So really both of these teams suck...the Jags we all knew would suck, and the Texans are on their way to yet another average 8-8 or 9-7 season. The Jags actually play alright at home in front of the 7 or 8 hundred that show up each game, but Houston was embarrassed last time they stepped on the field. The Texans literally have no defense at all, but they can score...I'm going with the better of the two shitty teams getting a point and a half.

The pick: Texans +1.5

Titans -2 @ Dolphins: This game SCREAMS Titans...Randy Moss' first game in Tennessee, CJ2k goin fucking buck wild and CHAD FREAKIN PENNINGTON starting for Miami...that's right CHAD PENNINGTON. The Dolphins have yet to win a game at home (0-3) and the Titans should be set to fucking roll them. One thing I've learned in years of watching the NFL...when there is a sure thing you bet against it.

The pick: Dolphins +2


Jets -3 @ Browns: Fuck the Browns...honestly they do play solid defense I'll give them that, but fucking Colt McCoy? I don't think so mother fuckers and part of the trio is making the trip out to C-town to watch the beat down. Jets get right this week.

The pick: Jets -3


AND FOR THE KISS OF DEATH:

Eagles -3 @ Skins: So my boy Steve-O is a huge Birds fan (nobody's perfect) and he says that I always hate on the E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles in my picks. Vick is doin his thang right now in the city of brotherly love and it's a rematch vs. their old QB Donovan (unless he gets benched again). One thing I'll give Philly is that they are hands down the most explosive team in the NFL. Hate to go against teams coming off the bye but I'ma do it for the 2nd time this week.

The pick: Birds -3

Now sit back, relax and enjoy the games.

Monday, November 8, 2010

"You can't be me, I'm a Rockstar!"



Before Desean Jackson, Young Money Brandon Jennings, and John "Teach me how to Dougie" Wall, there was a six footer out of Georgetown who burst onto the NBA scene in 96 who transcended the game of basketball forever! Well over a decade later, and basically fucking banished from the NBA, the Answer Allen Iverson is still treated like a fucking king no matter where he's at. The true pioneer of #SWAG!

Recently, Iverson signed a two-year, four million dollar deal with the Turkish squad Beşiktaş. You know me, I'm the biggest hater of international athletes/leagues and find them to be inferior to it's U.S. counterparts. The great Kenny fucking Powers said it best, "I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good." Preach Kenny, fucking preach!

-Jumpoff

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Have no fear NFL picks are here...

So I've been in a coma the last few days and when I woke up the college games had already kicked off. Thank god for Sunday's games though. It will be tough to make up for the disaster of last week but lets give it a shot:

Steelers -3 @ Dolphins: This is a real test for both teams...Big Ben basically came back on a bye last week vs. Cleveland, and Miami won a tough game in OT in Green Bay. The Fish always fucking handle their business in close games and I expect this to be close. To be honest I think the Steelers are going to win by -3 (but I'm too cheap to buy the hook) so I'll take a push.

The Pick: Steelers

Falcons -3.5 vs. Bengals: I know the Bungles are coming off a bye and Dunta Robinson is probably dead so he can't cover the TOcho show but still the Falcons got jumped in Philly last week and they're going to handle their business at home vs. Cincy.

The pick: Falcons

Ravens -700 vs. Bills: I know what you're thinking...you're gonna lay 700 bucks to win 100...of course I am! What kind of a degenerate would I be if I didn't. No fucking way Baltimore loses this game. P.S.- I have the Ravens in a suicide pool also this week...if they lose I'll be on suicide watch.

The pick: Ravens

49ers -3 @ Panthers: Both of these teams suck...and if Carolina was ever gonna win a game, you figure it would be at home off the bye vs. a team like San Fran, but for some reason I think the Niners will pull this game out and hopefully cover for all my faithful fans.

The pick: Niners

There you have it folks...play these 4 games and you'll be laughing all the way to the bank. Sit back, relax and enjoy the motherfucking show.

Bye Week

Just like our beloved Jets, Easy E has his bye week as well. I guess all you degenerates who bet with Easy E every week can thank your lucky stars he is off this week. I am sure he would have went an awesome 8-0 this week, but so be it. Wait till next week.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Just Your Typical Yanks Fan


James? Is that you? Kidding James. I know you would never wear that red jacket.

This is why Yankee fans are so corny though. You have this Elton John wannabe making Yankee videos for Game 6. Maybe the kid is retarded or something, but wow. His parents must be so pissed at him. Just imagine he made himself a Mets fan. He would have never had to endure the embarassment of these stupid ass videos. This dude has 0friends, thats for damn sure. I kinda hope the Yanks win tonight so I can see his game 7 video. Maybe he will drop a little Ke$ha on us.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Money In The Bank


I am going to go out on a limb here and say that AJ Burnet is going to fuckin dominate tonight. A lot of websites that are more popular than ours have "Locks of the Day" or "Mortal Locks" well fuck them. This is a John Anthony Guarantee. AJ Burnet fuckin rapes bitches tonight. If any betting website wants to advertise on our site, just holler baby. We wants to gets paid.

Sportsbook, talk to me. Ive bet with you many times before.
Yanks -156 all night.

Baseball is still gay, and the Titans/Jags game had better ratings than the Yanks game. LOLOL. Shit was a 27 point blowout. I guess we can now really say that baseball is done son.

You're Welcome.
Brian

PS. Spare me all the fake Yankee fans who know shit about baseball saying AJ Burnet sucks. Dude was str8 fire last year. With that fag Posada on the bench, AJ will be DEALING tonight.

Cheap Shot Artist

Brandon Meriweather is the Picasso of a Cheap Shot Artist. Dude must have learned from Rodney Harrison. You might remember Harrison from such incidents as HGH Gate. He was suspended for CHEATING. Weird that cheating got him suspended and not the attempted murder. The NFL is cracking down on illegal hits though. Ask Todd Heap, Josh Cribbs, and Mohamed blah blah blah. I am sure all 3 answers will be the same "I dont remember". They dont remember cause the wood was fuckin layed on them this weekend. I will not say the Dunta Robinson hit was illegal, as I think he led with his shoulder.

I mean, peep the video. Brandon Meriweather seems like an upstanding citizen on the field. If the first video doesnt do it for you, then maybe the second will. Its him stomping on Florida International players back in his college days.





You see Meriweather stomping on some poor players down on the field already? Im sure many wish he was just aborted before birth. Why wont u just die already Brandon? Shouldnt you be in jail or something?

Playing for Pride...


This week is the showdown of all showdowns. 2/3rds of the trio will be meeting up in Fantasy football. Yours truly Easy E and his 0-6 fantasy football team will be taking on 3rd place Brian and his 4-2 team.

I've already spoken to the guys this week and let them know that even though we're out of it, we're playing for pride. Playing for one another. Anything can happen in a rivalry game. We're gonna take it to Brian and his boys this week.

Prediction: Eric's team: 80
Brian's team: 72

Desean you got JACKsonED up...



The Only thing that beats that is this:



"That is a serious knee injury for Willis McGahee"..."Yep".

Cliff BEAST-LEE


I know what you're thinking...wow that's a catchy fucking title to this blog. And you're right...I came up with it last night while I was brushing before bed. Anyway Cliff Lee absolutely fucking dominated the world last night...dude threw like 22 innings and gave up 2 hits. Texas broke the game open in the 9th and are up 2-1 in the ALCS.

The point of this blog however isn't to say how great baseball is. It's to point out exactly why baseball sucks. I was flipping back between the baseball game and the football game last night, and when the first Texas batter got up in the top of the 9th there was about 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter of the football game. When the last yankee batter got out in the bottom of the 9th the football game had about 45 seconds left. The football game played almost 20 minutes of game time in ONE INNING! Almost 1/3 of the football game was played in ONE FUCKING INNING! Are you kidding me? Baseball is the longest most fucking boring shit on TV right now and I'm not just talking sports...baseball is more boring than a fucking lifetime movie.

Apparently Payback AND Karma are both bitches...


So for the 8 of you that read my payback is a motherfucker blog just a few days ago I've recently learned Karma is a bitch too. I sent bad vibes out to John Elway and what happened? He fucked me in my fantasy game last night. My team was 0-5 heading into the MNF matchup between the Titans and Jags. I was down 21 points, but I had Vince Young. VY goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S on the first drive throwing for 60 yards and a TD like 2 minutes into the game. I've got this shit on lock right? WRONG...karma bites me in the ass as VY goes down for the count and misses the rest of the game. Easy E falls to 0-6 in Fantasy football.

Well that effin hurt


So it seems I never learn my lesson. I really do suck at picking college football...the NFL I'm actually not so bad. Here are week 6 results:

In college:

Utah handled their business and covered vs. Wyoming.

Fucking Florida lost outright at home! vs. Mississippi State! are you effin kidding me?

Alabama won, but didn't cover...the state of Mississippi really fucked me like a 2 bit whore this saturday.

Nevada game I think just went final out in Hawaii and they lost outright too.

As far as the NFL goes:

The Ravens heard that I bet them on the money line and decided to hand the Pats a fucking win. I mean seriously how the hell did the Ravens blow that game? No really, I'm asking anyone who might know because CBS had bull riding on instead of that game so I'm not even sure. Thanks Jim Nantz!

The Falcons fell behind early and get mashed in Philly, at least Dunta Robinson laid the effin wood on Desean jackson to make me feel a little better about losing.

Steelers covered vs. those Cleveland bitches easily.

And semi upset pick of the week Saint Louis won outright at home. If you're dumb enough to bet the Chargers on the road you deserve to lose money.

This week: 3-5

NFL: 9-6

CFB: 3-7

Overall: 12-13

ROI: -$420 (In the red for the first time all season)

229'in It.

Sunday came and Sunday went. Jets played and Jets won. Football has been fuckin awesome this year. My team is 5-1, my fantasy team is 5-1, and (no homo) my boys and I just fuckin rock out every week. This past weekend I had the 229 crew at the crib minus Joe who was in DC.

Ladainian Tomlinson is THAT DUDE. You cant say MVP without thinking LT. This is definately a special football season. I can just feel it. If you readers were smart you would make it even more special by betting against Easy E's pics every week. I am expecting a call from a huge Vegas bookie one day telling us we better not post pics on the blog anymore because its affecting the way people bet in vegas. If you idiots are smart you would be up big money already. I bet against whatever Eric says every week. If he says its sunny, bring an umbrella. Trust me.

But yea, 1st place in the NFL feels fuckin awesome. Being a Jets fan for this long has had me getting use to sucking fat dick. We will suck dick no more. We are the creme of the crop boy. Holler.

PS. Anyone see Braylon getting doing his civil duty and watering the grass in the Denver endzone?? Dude pulled out the sprinkler after raping Chump Bailey.
Peep the 25 second mark. It's watering time.

Friday, October 15, 2010

We Fly High, No Lie

BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN



Picture explains it all. Hop off

Hofstra WATTTTTTTTTTTTT


So I just got back from lunch and I had this package waiting for me at my door. Turns out the head coach of the Hofstra Baskeball team sent me a Hofstra hoops shirt along with a little note;

Thanks For The T + The Support! CALL ANYTIME

Mo Cassara




I got to be honest. I have no fucking clue what this guy is talking about. I guess he bought a tshirt from us or something? Welcome to the club buddy. Anyway even though I have no idea why he sent me this I’m totally on board with the Flying Dutchman now. They are my team! In fact I promise you this Mo Cassara. If you make the dance this year the Stool will fly out and party at whatever region you play in and root you the fuck on. That’s a fucking promise from one leader of men to another. Oh and don’t think I’m not going to give you a buzz before that UNC game in the Puerto Rico Tip Off. Shit is on ESPN 2. I need some winners.

PS – After doing some quick research turns out Mo used to be an assistant at BC. Once again this proves what I say about the superfans. The athletes and coaches their actually like us because they agree with everything we say about their student body.

Double PS – I told the Sales Guy what happened and his first question was “Do a lot of Jews go there?” Fucking sales guy.


So I just peep my second favorite website, barstoolsports.com. While perusing the Boston part of it, I came across the above article. Hofstra made it son. STAND UP. Hofsta Basketball 2010-2011 ALL FUCKIN DAY.

We got El Pres and the rest of the stoolies on board now. Lets get some.

ALCS Preview

As anyone didnt see this happening. The only surprise here is that I was actually wrong. I didnt know the Twins were actually the Royals just dressed in Twins uniforms for the ALDS. That shit was pathetic right? Well, for the ALCS its no different. The Yankees will win in 5 games. As they fall behind tonight 1-0, they will sweep the rest of the series. Baseball is for the birds. I dont give a shit who wins, but it will be Yanks in 5. All the fake yankee fans who have no idea the pitching rotation will be happy. "Yo.. Bro, whose pitching tonight bro? Umm, CC Sabathia. Heard of him?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Taking It Back


Last Sunday, I went to my fav. place to watch football games on television. North Brunswick Pub and Grill on Route 1. Let me say that I would NEVER watch a Jets game there. I only watch those games live in person, or at a friends house that passes the Jets test. Real fans know what that means. Onto to the point of the blog though.

A few months ago, I wrote a blog about one Jamie J (Jeans pictured above). In that blog, I mentioned that she was a curse to all of my sports teams yadda, yadda, yadda. At that time, we were not really talking all that much, so it was easy for me to blame something on her such as this. Truth is, we dated for a few weeks way back when and all my teams slumped when I was with her. I told her it was her fault, but looking back, it really wasnt. My teams just fucking sucked dick.

Hofstra Basketball had its best years when we were together. So I cant really blame her for that one.

New York Yankees, nough said. I apologize to all men across the country for liking baseball. WTF was with me back then? Baseball is a sport for women. I should be kissing Jamie's feet for gettin me out of baseball. (She didnt really get me out of baseball, but I saw what a herb I was back then)

New York Jets. Wow I love the Jets. They had some years with a few wins here and there but for the most part they never pieced it together. Last year, they hired Rex Ryan as hashem errr I mean coach. Since then, they have made it to the AFC Championship every single year. Is that good? NBD. **I took Jamie to her first Jets game ever. They lost. Victor Hobson returned a fumble to the 1 fuckin yard line and they couldnt score. Thats where some of that hate comes from in regards to my fave. teams**

Recently, Jamie has lifted her hate ban on me and we have talked a few times. At first, I was very hesitant moving foward with this, but she insisted. Now, the Jets are in first fuckin place, and just ballin' all year long.

I write this blog because at The Pub last week, Jamie mentioned the past blog. So I guess i owed her an apology. Here ya go Jamie. Baby steps

Payback is a bitch motherfucker...


Hall of Fame quarterback John Elway and a business partner invested $15 million with a hedge-fund manager who was recently arrested for running a Ponzi scheme.

The Denver Post reported that the two invested $15 million with Sean Mueller in March with the understanding that the money would be placed in a trust until a final decision was made about where it would be invested.

About 65 people had invested $71 million with Mueller over the past decade. Yet in April, Mueller only had $9.5 million, according to a state investigator. He turned himself in to authorities on Wednesday on charges of racketeering, securities fraud and theft, and is being held in prison on $2 million bond.

Elway and his partner have asked that their claim be processed ahead of any other investors' because their $15 million was supposed to be placed in a trust, not pooled with the money of the rest of the hedge fund. According to an April filing, $12 million of Elway's money was placed into a Morgan Stanley trust account, as expected. The other $3 million has gone missing.



Well, well, well...what do we have here? To our readers out there, let this be a lesson...karma always fucking gets you. Even if it's 12 years later and goes by the name of Sean Mueller the hedge-fund manager. You think you could get away with beating our beloved Jets in the AFC Championship game and nothing would happen? Wrong bitch...and now you pay to the tune of 3 million dollars and public embarrassment for being stupid enough to invest with a hedge-fund manager. Were you living under a rock for that whole Bernie Madoff incident? Oh and by the way John, that was our year, congrats on getting lucky with 6 Jets turnovers. I hope you've learned your lesson.

P.S.- Big ups to my boy Sean Mueller for rockin a cool 3 millie from this little Elway bitch. Guaranteed you look in this Mueller guys closet you'll find an old #28 Curtis Martin jersey.

P.P.S.- Wipe that smile off your face you fucking bitch.

Easy E's Picks Week 6


So it was a struggle last week...1-3 just isn't gonna cut it for the six of you that read our blog. This week I'm firing bullets early and often and I'm going to try and get back on track. I'm 0 for my last 4 picking college after a 2-0 start, so logic says that I should slow down there...but in the name of being a true degenerate, not only will I pick college games this week, but I'm picking the most games so far this season...here we go:

Utah -20.5 @ Wyoming: I know you're thinking, why does this kid pick these redic conference games...blah blah blah...bottom line is Utah is a scoring machine, and Wyoming has literally nothing in the entire state except like six chicks with herpes.

The pick: Utah

Florida -$300 money line vs. Mississippi St: Miss St. is actually not that bad, but Florida is coming off of 2 losses in a row and playing at the swamp, there is no way Urban Myer lets his guys blow a 3rd game in a row especially at home.

The pick: Florida

Alabama -20.5 vs. Mississippi: Yes, as you can see I hate the state of Mississippi. I'm picking against both of their teams, but to be honest I don't get upset because most people in that state can't even add to two to be able to figure that out. Bama is gonna roll effin tide.

The pick: A-LA-BAMA (done in Keith Jackson voice)

Nevada -7 @ Hawaii: The O/U in this game is no joke like 420 points or something...and I'm pretty sure when Hawaii is home the games are played on like Tuesday or something...but I'm sticking with my wolfpack...even though they fucked me once before, they should beat the warriors waaaay out west.

The pick: Nevada

Onto the NFL:

Ravens +120 @ Pats: I was considering taking Baltimore plus the points, but then I realized fuck that...I can win extra money by taking them on the money line. Baltimore is one of the 3 best teams in the league, and New England is not...I realize the Pats are coming off a bye and want pay back and all shit like that, but it's put up or cut your pussy ass hair time for Mrs. Brady. This game shows what both teams are made of.

The pick: Ravens

Falcons +125 @ Eagles: This is basically the same game as the Ravens/Pats just in the NFC. You can argue that the Falcons are the best team in the NFC, so it's hard to not like them to win especially with K. Kolb getting the nod in philly this week.

The pick: Falcons +125

Steelers -13.5 vs. Browns: Wow...what can you say. You HATE laying 2 td's in ANY division game. And the Browns defense actually isn't THAT bad. But...Big Ben is back from raping chicks for 4 games, and the Steelers are coming off a bye. Did I mention they are playing IN pittsburgh AND Colt McCoy is getting the start? Hell...I'd lay 3 td's here.

The pick: Steelers

Rams +8.5 vs. Chargers: Well well well...so far this season we've learned a few things...neither of these teams can play on the road. San Diego has to be one of the biggest road money burner teams in recent memory. St. Louis sucks, don't get me wrong, but picking up more than a TD at home vs. a team that hasn't won on the road since the Clinton administration...I'll take my chances.

The pick: Rams

There you have it folks...8 games this week instead of 4...so be prepared to lose twice the amount of your money! Either way just sit back relax and enjoy the games.

Do I Curse Too Much?

So after this weeks Monday night beatdown of the Vikings, the question was raised if I curse too much at Jet games??

Am I a degenerate? I dont think so. I mean, I give to all types of charities and shit. So what I curse at Jets games right? We have this family that sits 2 rows in front of us. They bring their kid to games sometimes. He has to be no older than 2. Can he actually hear me? Hell no. This kid cant even wipe his own ass yet. He still shits himself. Do you think if I call Brett Favre a "fuckin bitch ass" he is going to remember it? I highly doubt it. If he does, then I think I would be the worlds best teacher. Molding young minds 2 rows in front of me at the age of 2.

Onto older subjects. If you go to a football game, and you are offended by cursing then suck my dick. My good friend Beef said I curse too much, but she later said that it didnt offend her, and she didnt care. I agree with Beef. I do curse a lot at games, but I kind of dont care. I pay $120 a game to have the time of my life, and when the Jets win, I do. I had a fuckin blast Monday Night. We had steak, chili, and buffalo chicken at the tailgate. We had a D-Lo pick 6 to ice the game, and we had a L. Coles' Stepfather fantasy win. What is better than that? NOTHING. Also, the time we had Monday night was epic. The tailgating crew was into it as ever, and the rain made it that much cooler. We were soaked, but fuckin warriors through and through. We are like the fuckin USPS, no rain, sleet, or snow is stopping our crew.

-Brian

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

One area of improvement...


Jeez...I felt like I was back in the Herman Edwards/Dick Curl era on Monday night at the end of the game with the clock management bullshit that Sanchez and Co. tired to pull. Clock management is something that I will never understand in the NFL. I realize that 99% of the players and coaches are border line retarded, I mean these dudes are getting like 8's on their wonderlics...that's equivalent to like a 650 on the SAT or something. But even with these idiots running the show, how hard is it to figure some of this shit out....here is the situation I'm talking about:

1st and 10 from our own 35 with 2:47 left on the clock. Vikes have 0 timeouts left. If we can call a run play that lasts 7 seconds, the play clock will reset with 2:40 left and we do NOT have to snap the ball again before the 2 minute warning.

Now you'd have 2nd down at 2:00....you run the ball 2x's taking off 45 seconds each time.

Now (assuming you don't make a first down) it's 4th down with 30 seconds left.

After the punt, the Vikes have 20 seconds and NO TIMEOUTS left on the clock.


In that situation, IMHO running a play that kills 7 seconds on first down is MORE important than gaining yardage. Even if we had to lose 10 yards to kill the time, it's worth it.

What play does Shotty call on 1st down? A run to LT RIGHT UP THE MIDDLE! The play clock reset at 2:42 so we HAD to run a 2nd down play prior to the 2 minute warning. If you call a pitch/sweep to the outside you can stretch that play for the 7 seconds you need and end the game for all intents and purposes.

So yes, while Sanchez blew the 2nd down, I'm 99% sure that the 1st down strategy of burning 7 seconds off the clock NEVER EVEN CROSSED the coaching staffs minds. That is what scares/annoys me.


Now I can already hear what everyone is saying "But Easy E, we won the game, can't you ever be happy?" Sure I'm happy as fuck that we won, but that "we won so we don't have to fix mistakes attitudes" is what has the Jets on a 41 year losing streak.

Coach Ryan, on the 72 trillion to 1 chance that you read this, please hit up efyousports@gmail.com and I'd be happy to take over late game time management duties.

Easy E weekend picks recap...


I got smoked harder than a joint at Ricky Williams house this past weekend. Like I told you all, college football is my nemesis. 0-2 on Saturday and a split on sunday.

Here is the quick recap:

Ohio State JUMPED Indiana, and put up some big numbers early, but they took their foot off the gas and their defense played lights out...fell a bit short of the under.

South Carolina beat the effin shit outta Bama early and often...they scored a lot more than I thought and the game broke the over pretty easily.

On Sunday I was totally off with the Texans...G-men DESTROYED them...jumped out to a 21-0 lead and never looked back.

The only game I called last week was the Titans over the Boys in Dallas. Titans were getting 6.5 and they won outright...too bad I didn't have em' on the cash line.

Results for the Year:

Last week: 1-3

NFL: 7-4

CFB: 2-4

Overall: 9-8

ROI: +$10

This weeks picks coming soon.

Hop off our Dicks son...


Huge win last night in the pouring rain. The trio toughed it out and didn't run for cover like the rest of the "fans" at the game. All of the sudden same old jets is out of our vocab faster than Brett Favre can get his dick on a cell phone camera. Of course we have to deal with the fake fan people now...as you can see the NY Jets are straight trending right now son...2nd most searched for term on Yahoo. Is that good? Don't hate baby...J-E-T-S all day every day.

Monday, October 11, 2010

We Ballin Boyyyy!

I don't care how bad they got their asses whopped last weekend. This is by far, the most swagtastic, entertaining, and exciting team to ever play Division I football. THE U baby!



-Jumpoff

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Go Cocks


Tomorrow at College Gameday, EFYOUSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM will be live and in person. By live, I mean we will have a sign there. Our boy Mikey Fellz and his bro, Dougie Fresh will be live in the flesh at Gameday. Look for the sign, it will be in the crowd. Just wanted to send a special thanks to Mike for reppin the good ol' blog.

Go Gamecocks.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Half and Half


Just saw that Darrelle Revis is medically cleared by the Jets team doctors to play Monday Night against Lito Sheppard and the Vikings. In this blog I am going to give you my 2 cents. Split in half though.

If Doesnt Play: Revis if you dont play, you are fuckng pansy ass bitch. You fuckin hold out on us for all of training camp, only to come back and get shit on by Randy Moss in Week 2. How about a little conditioning you bitch? Stay in shape while holding out and asking for all of this dinero son. Jets paid you, and you knew it was coming, but yet you couldnt stay in shape? What gives hombre?

If Plays: A Vagiant fan wrote the above paragraph. You are the man. I am so happy you held out in training camp. You rested your body, and you are good to go for longer this year, as we will need you in the playoffs even more this year. I aint mad at ya for missing 2.5 games already as it gave Cromo and KDub a chance to shine. Cant wait to see you out there Monday night babe. I love you.

Also, If you think this is funny in any way, Revis, I made you laugh last year in Tampa when i said Antonio Bryant sucks, and you should give me your gloves. If you wanna holler at me, hit us up on the email. We can chill at the mall or whatever. I can teach you how to dougie, maybe even a little madden action (im filthy in that game). The box is flooded, but I will find yours.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Now I've seen it all...


Don't get me wrong, I've seen some rare shit in my life. Like the picture of these animals for example. I just posted this blog like 8 seconds ago and they're probably all extinct already. Just when I thought I saw it all I tuned into ESPN tonight. Nebraska vs. K-State...Nebraska is rollin those pansy ass bitches when boom K-State makes a QB change and out comes #7 Klein. Now I'm a Klein so I know that my Jewishness limits my athletic ability. I used to be the top scorer in the JCC league, but as soon as I hit public school I was just another face in the crowd. Anyway K-State has this motherfucker running the option! Can you imagine? A Jew running the option! Now that truly is some rare shit.

Are you effin kidding me?


Thanks to ESPN for the article

A devout Michigan State football fan called timeout before doctors could install a pacemaker in his chest Thursday, deferring the procedure until after the school's football game this weekend against rival Michigan.

Major Hester said he's willing to risk death so that he can watch Saturday's game in Ann Arbor on television. The Spartans are ranked 17th in the country and the Wolverines are ranked 18th.

The 69-year-old retired office supply clerk said he put off the procedure until next week because he can't risk something going wrong on the operating table that would prevent him from watching the game.

"You never know," Hester told The Detroit News as he paced back and forth in his living room. "It's like going into combat. You may come home alive or you may come home dead."

Hester suffers from cardiomyopathy, a condition where the heart muscle is weakened. He said he's aware of the risk he's taking but is willing to take the chance.

"Whatever happens, I want to see the game," he said.

His friends took Hester's decision in stride.

They say Hester gives himself pep talks to try to "keep it calm" during games, turns down the television volume to keep from getting too excited, and smacks the coffee table, screams at coaches and curses out the referees from his couch. He's even been banished to his bedroom like a scolded child and forced to watch games alone.

"I want to run the ball with them," said Hester. "I want to catch the pass."




At first I was thinking no big deal, just another Michigan State heart attack article. Then I got to reading about our boy over here. First of all you know this dude is the real deal with a name like Major. I'm thinking holy shit this guy and I have so much shit in common it's crazy...we both give ourselves pep talks during games and curse mother fuckers out and shit like that. Obviously I'm a littler cooler than he is, because he's got fucking cardiomyopathy which sounds like some sorta fucked up shit. I'm all ready to give this guy his props for risking his life and shit to watch his team, but then I re-read the article. First sentence, second paragraph. "Willing to risk death so he can watch the game on TV?" Are you effin kidding me? What a fucking pussy ass bitch. Does this dude not know that the trio just fucking braved getting a cold in like 48 degree weather in Buffalo in only 2 sweatshirts and 2 pairs of socks? I had to take like six airborne that my mom packed for me before the game just to keep from catching a cold. This fucking guy is full of excuses...and shit, c'mon dude if you're a Michigan State fan you're in East Lansing...the trip to Ann Arbor is probably like 12 minutes. Here's to hoping you don't die this weekend Major, but don't think you're hot shit or anything either.

Doc-Tober


So I have been on Roy Halladays dick for madd long. I always say he is the best pitcher EVER. I get rejected most of the time. I hear Pedro, Nolan, etc. I still stand by this statement though. This man is a work-a-holic. He gets his first ever Post Season start last night and goes BEASTMODE on the Reds. Dude threw a 104 pitch no hitter. It's insane what this man can do. He has like 1500 complete games, and now he has 2 no-hitters in 1 season. One was a perfect game. Imagine if this dude was in the NL all his career? He might have had multiple 30 win seasons.

This is just a blog to thank Mr. Halladay for switching leagues. Actually, fuck that. I hate baseball, and dont give a shit where he pitches, and who wins. I am just happy he is doing his thang. Me and Fellz know whats up with this dude.

PS. If CC did this last night, there wouldnt be a blog about it. Roy Halladay is mah dude.

Easy E's Picks Week 5


So overall I'm still up for the season...here are this weeks picks:

I went 0-2 in college last week ATS, so I'm gonna switch it up and play a little O/U game.

Alabama @ South Carolina: Big ups to Mikey Fellz a close friend of the trio who will be making the trip to Columbia, SC this week to catch the cocks. Dude is probably also gonna try and make the game. That place is gonna be goin effin NUTS....USC east always plays well at home and always has a good crowd, but Bama' is the class of college football and it aint even close. With Bama coming off a very emotional win at home over Florida, I expect them to be a little down in this spot. That's not to say they won't win, but I expect a close low scoring game.

The Pick: UNDER 48

Indiana @ THE Ohio State University: THE osu gave their fans a scare last week in Champagene, but they pulled it out anyway. Terrell Pryor might be banged up, but you know anyone with a haircut like that is gonna man the ef up and play. The spread is 21 and change, and I think we're going to see a high scoring game. I'm looking for the Bucks to bounce back big back at home. Something along the lines of THE osu 45 and Indiana 20.

The Pick: OVER 57.5

Moving along to Sunday:

New York VaGiants @ Texans: Texans went out west last week and handled their business, G-men DOMINATED on defense at home, had like 271 sacks, knocked out Jay Cutler, and still were only up 7 points with 6 minutes left in the game. Houston is the real deal and I think the cream of the AFC is better than the not so much cream of the NFC. Expect All day Andre to be back playing this week, and a big win for Houston.

The Pick: Texans -3

Titans @ Cowboys: Both of these teams are sorta unknowns, the Boys' started 0-2 before getting a nice win vs. Houston but then they had a bye. The Titans handled their business in NY vs. the G-men but then lost at home to Denver. I think Chris Johnson is set for a monster day, and while I expect it to be a close game (maybe even with Dallas winning) I don't expect Dallas to cover.

The Pick: Titans +6.5

Enjoy the games bitches.

Boyce Avenue

So a few years ago, I came across the ill youtube group. Today, they are still pumping out hits.

Normally, I dont like to take this blog into the realm of music, but I figured I owe it to Alejandro Manzana to post him up on one of the top 15 blogs in the country. They are a sick cover band, but have recently dropped an album of their own joints. I recommend you check them out on youtube. Tell em efyousports sent ya.

Here is a sample:

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Super Bowl Path

I am into booking road trips in advance. So I am asking our readers my best path to get to the Super Bowl. Should I drive? Its in Dallas which is a hella trek. Flights will be rather expensive, and far less fun. There is no trains there, or none that I would take. I guess my only means to get there is driving. Its only 25 hours. No big deal right? We have done NoLa, and Nashville. Plus 25 hours of Super Bowl week aint shit. I only pose this question to ya'll now because we are gettin Santonio Holmes, Calvin Pace, and Revis back this week. Heard of em?

Dallas is going to be sick. Might as well book it now, cause shits on lock. Jets baby.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

For Real??

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Playoffs

I would normally leave a baseball blog to one of our baseball experts here at efyousports, but no one likes baseball.

Tomorrow night, the Yankees kick off their title defense in what is sure to be a snoozefest of a baseball playoff series. The Twins blow, and the Yankees should steamroll them. Look for ARod to be the playoff hero like he was last year, and the Yanks to win in 4. Without Morneau, the Twins stand no chance of winning. They dont have Kent Hrbek, and Kirby Puckett anymore. They start Carl Pavano, and some other scrubs. CC, Yankee Doodle Andy, and Phil Hughes should take 3 fuckin shits on them, and win in 4. Only loss will come in the Pettitte start when the bullpen blows it.

I will see you bitches for my ALCS blog.

Go Yanks, I guess.

Ridin' Dirty

Another week, another DWI. This time its Dwayne Jarrett. I hope everyone is up in arms over this. I mean, Braylon Edwards almost had his dick cut off by all the media 2 weeks ago. Braylon missed a quarter of football, returned, scored, dougied, and won. This time around, I would expect Jarrett to be suspended since its his second arrest for DWI. He will be cut as well. Even so though, I bet no one talks about this because he isnt on the New York Jets. Everyone hates the Jets, so you have to HATE them.

Just another blog about the best team in football, and how everyone hates them. Eat a dick Dwayne Jarrett. Enjoy food stamps.

-Brian

I'm moving to Canada


So as the six of you readers know, 2/3 of the trio was across the border this weekend in Canada and let me fucking tell you...that place is the shit!

We were hungry so we went to some souvenir shop for a hotdog and next thing we knew dude in there was tellin us about proplays or prosport or some shit. Whatever the fuck it's called it should be called "Canada shits on America".

Here is the idea...you can go into any corner store in Canada and BET ON FOOTBALL. That's right..you effin heard me right...just like you play lotto here in the what used to be the good ole' US and A, our norther neighbors allow you to bet the NFL.

So let's do a comparison here:

Canada: Drinking age is 19, some of the best strip clubs in the world, Betting on football at your local CVS, Casinos on every other fucking block, hot french canadian sluts

USA: Homeless people with AIDS.

Canada wins...see you bitches up north.

Easy E's weekend picks recap


So I know that most of you were shittin your pants after I went 0-2 Saturday, but c'mon you didn't think Easy E would keep you hangin....a bang out 2-0 on Sunday puts me even (less the vig) for the weekend.

Wisconsin vs. Michigan State: I dunno what the fuck happened here, apparently teams are motivated by coaches after heart attacks....MSU plays Michigan this week, so we will find out which one of those teams is for real and which is isn't.

Nevada vs. UNLV: You'll have to excuse Nevada...they are new at not sucking...dudes rushed for like 400 yards and had the ball in goal to go territory late in the game with a chance to run up the score AND cover, and the bitches took a fucking knee. Easy E doesn't forget shit like that.....when you're fucking Nevada you need all the help you can get in the polls.........run up the score you pussies.

Texans vs. Raiders: Fuck the Raiders, they suck...Texans covered without Andre Johnson playing.

Chargers vs. Cards: This game was a fucking joke...Kerry Rhodes scored a TD for Arizona, I'm surprised dude had enough time to tweet while running towards the endzone and still score. What was the final here like 112-8? Effin blowout city like I was hoping for.

Total Season Results:

NFL: 6-3 +$240

CFB: 2-2 -$20

Overall: 8-5 +$220

Monday, October 4, 2010

NFL vs. CFL


As we departed for Buffalo, we thought we would see 1 CFL game on Saturday, and an NFL game Sunday. Little did we know that the Buffalo Bills were actually a real CFL team, just disguised in NFL jerseys.

On a serious note.. Did that game really happen? Is Ryan Fitzpatrick really an NFL quaterback? AHAHAHA. That shit was fun as hell. Our crew invaded Ralph Wilson and had the time of our lives. We not only saw our first in person weeble wobble, but we saw an epic beatdown.

We pulled up in the Town and Country, and had the best taigate. We were CRUSHING Orange Juice like it was going out of style. Had pancakes that tasted like heaven, and even made ourself some fuckin McDougie's (Sausage wrapped in Pancakes. Named after Braylon Edwards weekly TD Dance. I made my grilled chicken special, and we jus balled out. Once we arrived in the stadium, it was fuckin GO TIME.

I would go into details of the game, but it wasnt much of a game, and it was over before it started. I have a few questions though. How did the Dolphins only score 15 points on this team? Bitches.
How did this team score 23 points vs. the Pats? Bitches.

News and Notes.
Note to self. Never go back to Buffalo. I have never seen so many poor people grouped into 1 stadium in my life. Ehh, I guess Miami had a lot of trash in their place last year, but who cares. Just dont do there.

Girls are so ugly in Buffalo. I mean wtf. Have you ever heard of makeup, or a fuckin mirror? Was this a joke? Was it ugly weekend in Buffalo? I felt like I was Brad Pitt, and these hoes were trailor trash.

Canadian people are nice. I enjoyed their company.

3-1 heading into Monday Night Football. Getting back Calvin Pace, Santonio Holmes, and Darrelle Revis. LOOKOUT.

-Brian

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Lebron Baby.. WOOOOOO


All of a sudden Lebron is back in the media. This time, people are playing the race card. Can people please just leave the dude alone. He is easily the best player to ever play the game, and people are just hating on him like no other. Hop the fuck off. The Durantula is a close 2nd. I actually founded him well before him being a Longhorn. Thats neither here nor there though. Back to the moral of the story. All press is good press. And all the haters like the shameful city of Cleveland will see what they had done. CREATED A MONSTER. Lebron is going to go all Marshawn Lynch on you this season, AKA Beastmode. The Heat will win all 72 games, and then go undefeated in the playoffs. My only regret this NBA offseason was that JJ Redick, or Birdman didnt sign with either OKC, or the Heat.

I hate all these white people who think just because Lebron isnt one of you that he is playing the race card. The dude made a choice, and he wantd to raise money for the children. Gosh, is that so hard to believe? Lebron said he would take the heat all over again if it meant raising another 3 millie for the kids. I dont see others doing that. So instead of bashing this man, lets say what he really is, a fuckin AMERiCAN HERO.

WITNESSSSSS

The Trio Invades Buffalo...minus one


2/3 of the Trio is about to make it rain up in Buffalo. The yearly Jets road trip is upon us and to make up for last years New Orleans debacle we've decided to take a visit to cream puff city aka Orchard park aka home of the hapless Buffalo Bills.

Plan is to do some wing tasting on Friday night, then head up into Canada eh on Saturday to probably do some human or drug trafficking assuming we can't get Maple Leaf tickets. If we can get tickets, then we will probably just skip the trafficking and go to the game Saturday night vs. the Wings.

Then Sunday is fun day as our boy Mark "I just wanna ball all year long" Sangchez takes the field to make a doodie on the entire city of Buffalo and surrounding areas. (My apologies to mark for those racist comments I was hurling at you during the Ravens game, you're back in my good graces)

J-E-T-S all day long.

Coming home 3-1.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Ring of Shame


So Sunday night, the VAGiants plan on inducting Lawrence Taylor into their Ring of Honor. Seems kind of weird they would do such a thing. I mean the dude is currently being charged with RAPE of a 13 year old girl right?

This whole Jets bashing is just pretty awesome though. I mean Braylon drives with tinted windows and drunk, and is inhumane. Dont get me wrong here, Braylon is a fuckin moron, and he deserves what is going to come to him. Lets be honest though, LT is breaking little girls vaginas in hotel rooms and is having himself inducted into a Ring of Honor? Shit is more like a Ring of Shame.

I hope that queer Mike Fatcessa speaks about this on his show tomorrow. I am sure he will. I just that its audible though. Its hard to understand him while he is swallowing the cocks of the 53 man roster week after week. If you listened to him on any given day you would think the giants are 3-0 and are the team to beat.

I dont give a shit about all this though. Jets are in first, and giants are the worst. Eat shit fatcessa you huge piece of lard.

-Brian

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Mr. Tannenbaum

So how do you guys feel about Mr. Tannenbaum?? Hall of Famer right? Exactly.

As a die hard Jets fan, I have been extremely loyal to this team, which fuckin sucks. They have made me cry numerous times. On top of the crying, I have been paying for season tickets, and this year even a PSL. You might ask yourself, "Brian, Why do you do this? Are you crazy?" The one thing I have never questioned though is why. I love the Jets. I love the organization, and I love most of the fans.

In recent years, Mike Tannenbaum and Woody J have made the die hards a very happy bunch. We are pretty much fans at a buffet. We can get everything we want out of the free agent market (Calvin Pace, Kris Jenkins, Bart Scott, Santonio Holmes, Braylon Edwards, Rex Ryan, Jason Taylor, Tomlinson, Pool, Leonhard, etc. You guys jealous? AHAHAHAHA)Even the core players are getting resigned. We draft amazing, and most of our picks always help out with the team. Gholston is even coming around. Have we won yet? No. Winning is everything in the NFL, and the Jets are making strides each and every game towards that ultimate goal. This blog is pretty much just to say how awesome Tannenbaum and company are. Rex, and Woody you guys are the shit, and from 1 Jet fan to another, 143. (No Homo)

I just want to win a championship though. Please make that happen. Please.

Also, I saw on Hard Knocks that you guys print out most of what is written about you guys. If you happen to see this, please holler at us at efyousports@gmail.com. I would love to come in and interview for any job you have there. If you are thinking about not emailing us because the blog below is about betting and the blog below that we have someone making fun of someone with Down Syndrome, don't let that be a deterent. We can be great here.

Much Love,
Brian

Easy E's Picks Week 4


Alright...so here we go...tough week this time around but lets give it a shot:

Wisconsin -2 @ Michigan State: Big Ten conference play kicks off this week as Bucky the badger takes a visit to East Lansing. I'm not sure if 'Sconsin is the 2nd or 3rd best team in the big ten, but I am pretty confident that they have what it takes to beat MSU. The Spartan's needed some gimmick bullshit fake FG to get by Notre Dame two weeks ago and that shit gave their coach a heart attack. I do expect this to be a typical tight Big Ten game and don't see a blowout, but I give Bucky the advantage by a TD.

The pick: Wisconsin -2

Nevada -20.5 @ UNLV: Attention College football world: Do NOT sleep on the wolf pack. They have a pretty good program out there in the desert and just beat the shit outta some pac-10 pansys a few weeks back. Look for Nevada to put up some big numbers against a team that is much better at basketball than it is at football.

The pick: Nevada -20.5

Sunday's Games:

Texans -3 @ Raiders: So the Texans offense is pretty darn solid, but they struggled big time last week in Dallas...a visit out west to Oakland should be just what the doctor ordered. Expect a big day on both sides of the ball as Houston bounces back from a bad loss last week.

The pick: Texans -3

Chargers -8 vs. Cardinals: The Chargers are up and down, back and forth just like they are EVERY September. I'm sure once October rolls around they will have like 72 wins in a row before losing a heart breaker in the first round of the playoffs. The Cardinals really are not very good and San Diego is a bitch to play at home. I fucking hate giving the extra point, but I'm clearly looking for a bounce back blowout of an inferior team.

The pick: Chargers -8


There are your four picks for the week...now just sit the fuck back, relax and enjoy the games. Look out for the picks recap on Monday.

Who has the higher IQ...

This Down Syndrome kid or Vince Young?





Did my dude just dougie in the endzone?

Nice fucking try Al Michaels


You almost had me there for a second, giving me that fucking sob story about Tony Sparano getting some grease in his eye or some shit being the reason dude wears his sun glasses at night. Clearly it's to hide his fucking tears after his team gets blasted by the fucking J-E-T-S.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Washed Up.


Everyone was right. Tomlinson is washed up. I mean the dude cant hit a hole, can catch passes out of the backfield anymore, and he def. cant get the outside and make a nice run. Those days are wayyyyyyyyy behind him.

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE you fuckin idiots.

Tomlinson is just doing what Tomlinson does. WORK.

He has been a beast for the Jets this year. A workhorse. A leader, A lighting rod,
and just a straight up gentleman. His game sealing TD last night was great. I did want the lil LT flip, but the points were just fine.

Last year the Jets were 2-4 in the AFC East, this year we are 2-0. I can say "we" as I am a PSL holder, and a season ticket holder. Ask me if I pay their salaries, the answer is yes. Therefore, I am a shareholder, and I have my say with the team. So fuck those cheese balls that always say "we???". The answer to that is yes, we. Unless you're poor and dont have season tickets. Than just stfu and go enjoy food stamps.

Back to the point of this blog. LT is the man, and the Jets are in First Place. Now lets go eat a goddamn snack.

Brian

First Place.... Watevz


Just another week of being a Jets fan I guess. Deal with the media scrutiny, deal with football fans who tell you your team sucks, deal with fat fucks like Mike Fatcessa telling us how the Jets are classless, and the Giants are the team in NY. Hey Fatcessa, tell me how Rex Ryan's ass tastes? You wannabe. Jump off a cliff and kill yourself. You are so worthless. Like I said though, whatever. Jets are in first place in te AFC East. NBD

Last night, the Jets defense was less than stellar, but good teams win when push comes to shove. Brodney Pool read that last play of the game like that pig cop read Bralyon his rights Tuesday AM. LT was awesome once again. Leaping piles, scoring td's like its nobodies business. Jason Taylor punching through the box last night was SICK. Wow, I love this team. Next week we get Calvin Pace back. He is going to rape Buffalo worse than Lawrence Taylor having his way with a 14 year old.

Player of the game is obviously Mark Fuckin Sanchez. Dude was cooler than the other side of the pillow last night, and the week before. Some assholes wrote him off after Week 1, like myself. Jokes on me and you bitches. Mark Sanchez is whats up. He lays the dick down Monday-Saturday, but Sunday is his fuckin day. Dude just wants to ball all year long, and he is showing that. I just hope he remembers we have another 2 games on Monday, and 1 on Thursday this year. Thats what good teams have, prime time games.

Key plays of the game last night:
Braylon Edwards cutting people up scoring like a 76 yard td. Is that good?
Sanchez to Edwards on the biggest play of the game. 3rd and 10, up 24-23. FIRST DOWNNNNNN
Last but not least, was actually the last play of the game. Brodney Pool breaking up the pass and having Drew Coleman get me +2 Fantasy points, and himself a good ol' INT.

Moral of the story. If Braylon stays sober, dude is fuckin unreal. If anyone doesnt know The Dougie by now, you aint a Jets Fan. Braylon jus doing the dougie in every endzone nfl wide.

Game Over,
Brian

Easy E weekend picks recap


Well...like the picture shows...you can't win 'em all. 3 out of 4 for the weekend is pretty solid I'd say. It's always painful when the team that blows a perfect weekend for you scores 38 points and still doesn't cover. Fucking C.J. Spiller and that bullshit KO return for a TD.

Anyways...like I called, Stanford beat the fucking shit out of shitty Notre Dame. The final was 37-14, but if you can believe it, the game wasn't even nearly that close. Stanford turned the ball over like 61 times and settled for FG's all over the place. The Cardinal probably should have won like 52-10.

Out in Tempe things were a littler closer than I thought...The O banged out points again like it's nobodies business, but I didn't realize how much their defense fucking sucks (you can take that team off the national radar for me). I ended up shutting the game off after the 3rd quarter...I think it was like 7:30am EST at that point but I woke up to a cover.

In the NFL...the easiest game of the week was the Steelers destroying the Bucs...I mean even Charlie batch had like 500 yards passing and 7 TD's or something...Steelers have the best defense in the NFL and it's probably not even close right now.

Of course the fucking Pats shit the bed again...worst case possible they win but don't fucking cover...the good news is that their defense looks to be spread open wider than Houston after the 500....Miami is the 2nd best team in that division behind the J-E-T-S. If Brady were gone the Pats would be a 5-11 team.

This week: 3-1

Overall: 6-3

ROI: +240

Check back for this weeks picks in the next few days.

-Easy E

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Braylon Dougied On Em'

So I have this awesome blog all prepared and shit and I look at our site, and I see Easy E posts it already.. WTF Brah?

Anyway, lemme speak for JetsNation and say fuck the police. How many athletes drink and drive and shit? Most of em. I am not saying what Braylon did was right, becuase I am sure as shit it wasnt. Anyone that knows me knows I HATE ASSHOLES who drink and drive. Honestly, arrest Bray after the season, lock him up, kill him for all I care, just let him play on Sunday. He already Dougied all over James Butler. Sunday night, he might swag surf all up on Vontae Davis.

Haters gonna hate though. Anyone hear Mike Fatcessa this week? Dude is crying all over the place. Honestly, get a fuckin shovel for all the sand in your vagina bro. STFU and go eat yourself to death. Anyone remember Kareem McKenzie getting arrested for drinkin and driving and not being suspended? Anyone remember Lawrence Taylor snorting coke, raping 9 year old chicks? Kerry Collins hitting the bottle harder than Bart Scott hitting Ben Rapelessburger? Cmon now people. I know you only hating cause you jealous, but for real, buckle up its only week 2. For now enjoy Braylon doing his thinggggggggggggg.


J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Braylon Busted



Lets just face the facts here...Braylon is a fucking bad ass. Dude goes out and catches like 60 balls with a touchdown AND a 2 point conversion and what does he do? Gets lit the fuck up the next day and drives our franchise Left Tackle and the Ghost home. But before he makes it....DWB...some piece of shit pig pulls his ass over for tinted windows and rims (fucking racist cops)....instead of tryin to play it all cool he blows a .16. Two times the legal limit. The media is all like suspend his ass blah blah blah........fuck that shit...this is the NFL and my dude needs to be on the field catchin balls from the Sanchize. Moral of the story is this: Don't fucking tint your windows.

On a side note...supposedly Shonne Greene was gonna drive the crew home, but the dude kept droppin the keys.

One Love Braylon.

-Easy E

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fuck it...lets do college too

Fuck...college used to be my shit...but ever since I left I haven't had as much success betting it. Who gives a fuck though...let's see what I've got going now.

Stanford -4.5 @ Notre Dame: Irish this Irish that...blah blah...fuck them...honestly they suck and Stanford's football team is almost as good as their water polo team this year. Dudes out west can fucking score.

Oregon aka "The O" -10.5 @ Arizona State: I'll give ASU credit for hanging with Wisconsin last week at camp randall, but I got news for you...the only thing goin down in tempe this saturday (besides the hottest coeds in the country) are the sun devils. I think the Ducks are averaging like 6,000 points a game this season. Shutting their offense down means you have given up like 371 points. I'll take my chances with that.

Easy E's NFL Picks Week 3

Let's try and get a little betting theme going since the NFL is back.

Last week I was 3-2 ATS (against the spread for you non degenerates aka losers out there). I hit with Atlanta, Green Bay and Indy and lost with New England and Tennessee.

This week we will play two games:

Steelers -2.5 @ Bucs: Yes...I realize that Neil O'donnell is probably starting for the Steelers this week down in Tampa, but in all honesty I'm almost not joking when I say that I could play QB for Pittsburgh and we'd still probably go 9-7. Tampa can't start the season 3-0 can they? When do you ever see a game end by less than 3 points anyway? So this is basically a pick'em and I'm pickin the men of steel.

Patriots -13 vs. Bills: Yes I bet the Pats last week and they shit the bed vs. the J-E-T-S, but they haven't lost back to back games since before color television. Also...I heard a rumor on rotoworld that the Bills were out for the season. They didn't specify which one's so I'm just assuming by their play that it's the whole team...no joke it's only Monday and I've literally already spent the winnings from this game.

Last week: 3-2

Season: 3-2

ROI (Assuming $100 bet per game with 10% Juice): + $70

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Worst Bandwagon Fan EVER!

Brian is no longer the biggest front-runner to ever live. This kid is the new king queer. If you see him in the streets, somebody snuff him in the mouth.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

JJ Rediculous!!!!!!!


Dude is just dropping BOMBS tonight. No chance Orlando losses this series. Redick for MVP.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Bellamy Road Horse = Check


So Nunz, Scott Y, Easy E, Neuf, Droski, and I got another horse. This is the first for Ant, Matt, and Dro, but for myself, Scott, and Easy E this is our second. Yes, I know what you're thinkin, we are effin ballers. Whoever think that is absolutely correct.

You know what makes this horse awesome though? Its George Fuckin Steinbrenners horses kid. Like that's basically owning a piece of the Yankees. I am this much closer to being on the same level as ARod now. Whatever Georgie Boy touched turned to gold (minus Igawa, and Fat Toad). I expect to win the Triple Crown next year. Also, WTD is def. in a relationship with this filly.

Speaking of Arod, I might invite him out for some drinks and shit, so he can get me girls. I am going to go to a baseball game and ask to speak with Hal. Since I own part of a Bellamy Road horse, does that make me a minority owner of the Yankees? I guess so. At least it does until someone says it doesnt. Either way, ARod and I are going out to smash girls this summer, cant wait.

Look at this horse. FUCKIN BEAUTIFUL.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Oh My

Look at this kid. Gimme 2 of em. I hope I was this awesome as a child. Come to think of it, I am sure I was.


EMBED-Funny Two-Year Old Football Prodigy - Watch more free videos

Mo Coaches, Less Problems

As you guys know Tommy P left Hofstra. Thats awesome news. That guy sucked more dick than Jenna Jameson in her prime. We then had an awesome hire in Tim Welsh. Well, that guy drinks more then Homeless Harry, and he got fired 34 days into the job. Now we have fuckin Mo Cassara. I've never heard of the dude, he coached girls basketball, and did something at Dayton. You know what though? Who gives a shit. As long as its not Pecora. My expectations of this dude are very low, and I dont mean that to be an asshole. This guy has flown under the radar his whole life, so why not do it now. Lead us to the promised land. **For all you Hofstra supporters here, the promised land means NCAA Tournament** We havent tasted that shit since Jay Wright was cooking up a storm at Hofstra. While I said my expecations are low for this guy, I expect to fuckin win. None of this garbage "first year" bullshit.

Let's go Mo

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Defense??

So I am sitting here watching the Cavs/Celtics game. Cavs are down 7 with 1:35 left. Game is over. You know why? Because there is no defense in the NBA. Cavs were just down 14, and have now cut the lead to 7 without any defense. But like WTF if they Cavs played defense they could be winning. They score a bucket and dont even press. I am not sure about the rules in the NBA, but once u get drafted are you not allowed to fuckin press anymore? This is why the NBA is for the birds. This shit sucks.

NBA All Swag Team
1. JJ Redick
2. Kevin Durant
3. Birdman
4. Lebron

That's it. The rest of the NBA is a bunch of chumps.

Fuck the NBA

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Laser Show.... Relax

So I come across this video of DP the other day, and I figured I would blog it. Supposedly everyone in Boston is crushing Big Papi, like he is horrible all of a sudden. Newsflash Boston, he has been horrible since Manny left. Manny was the heart and soul of that team. Without him in the lineup, how can anyone on that team succeed?

Now we have Pedroia acting a fool in the locker room. Dude thinks he put on a laser show. Yea, he won the MVP or ROY that year, dont even know, baseball is for the birds. Whatever the case may be. He likes men. The video is funny though.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Jorge


How bad is Jorge Posada? I mean this dude cant throw, cant block a ball, and is just bad. I understand he has a decent bat and all, but to me, its not even worth it. Pitchers hate throwing to him, and he is now a liability behind the plate. Francisco Cervelli has a much better arm, and probably went to the Rex Ryan school of defense, because dude is a machine back there. This "Jorge Posada is a real Yankee" garbage is for morons. There is no such thing as a real Yankee. Stop living in the past. I would believe there was a such thing as real yankees, if the yankees were charging 1998 prices. The real yankees are charging 1,000,000,000,000 dollars a game, and 39.00 for a hot dog now. If I am paying those prices (which i never would) I would like to see top notch athletes. Which for the most part they have, just not Jorge. I love when he doesnt catch as it most likely means the Yanks will win. I'd rather have Matt Nokes behind the plate then this scrub.


PS. He is an average hitter, dont get it twisted. He aint Joe "Power" Mauer.

My team bout green RONDO, Roger that!


If Rondo's game 2 performance tonight doesn't prove that he is one of the games ELITE point guards I don't know what will. This guy is by FAR the most unappreciated player outside of Boston. And it's pretty disrespectful to not consider him at LEAST top five in the league. do people realize that he was the focal point of Boston's championship team? Who do you think was the catalyst who got shit going for the Big Three?

Top five PG's in the league. Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Steve Nash, Rondo, and Tony Parker. NOT Derek Rose. NOT Tyreke Evans. NOT Steph Curry. (Yes, I've heard people say this). Like really guys? The only thing I would say Derek Rose is better at is his ability to hit jumpers. (Which I still don't think is THAT wet). Rondo is better defender, better distributor, and a killer fucking instinct. Ask the Lakers when they got spanked. They continued to disrespect Rondo, and what did ol' boy do? He took them to school. He hit open floaters, got into the lane at will, and made dudes like Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and James Posey Champions.

Rondo tied a team record with 19 assists as he carved up the swiss cheese Lebroniers defense. Want to know the secret to beating the Celtics Lebroniers? STOP RONDO.

Or you can just stick to the excuse of Lebron's "injured" elbow. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. It's just an excuse for the King to use if they don't win a championship this year. I'm sick of hearing this excuse. It is such a cop out. Accept losing like a man "Chosen One".

-Jumpoff J

P.S. Follow Lebron's Elbow on Twitter!