The Ultimate Man Vacation

Sorry that you havent heard from us in a while. Eric and I got laid the fuck off. Ya know what though? It's all good. Fuck work.

What I am about to tell you will make you all wish you got laid off. Eric and I planned the ILLEST trip in the land. We are taking the "Ultimate Man Vacation".

What is the UMV you ask? Well, its just the best road trip ever assembled. We are renting a car, most likely from Hertz in North Brunswick (our local road trip jumpoff) and kicking back, and enjoying life.

Our First stop will land us in the mecca of sports, The Meadowlands. It will play host to our first stop on the trip. Jets vs. Carolina on November 29th. We go home, sleep in our beds one last time, then like Michael Bisping after a Henderson punch, WE OUTTTTTT.

Novemeber 30th, we invade the Verizon Center in Washington, DC for Georgetown vs. Mount St. Mary. After that, we head to Chapel Hill (Dec. 1st), to watch number 2 vs. number 4, Michigan State and North Carolinaaaaaaa. Our next host city will be Clemson University (Dec. 2nd), where its always "Miller Time". We're going to watch another Big 10 vs. ACC challenge, as Illinois takes on Clemson at littlejohn coliseum. Dec 3rd is a relaxing day, as we will find ourselves in Marietta, Georgia to watch our beloved Jets steam roll the Bills in Canada. As die hard Jets fans, we dont miss a game, or a snap for that matter. We will be in Mazzy's Sports Bar, as it is the official Jets Fan Club in the Atlanta area.

December 4th, we kick the arena/stadium/coliseum tour back in full gear and head into the dirty dirty. We will watch the Knicks and Hawks from beautiful Phillips Arena (I hope Speedy is still on the team, Hofstra what whattttttttttt). December 5th is a toss up. We would LOVE to go to the SEC championship game in the Georgia Dome, but as we look for tickets, our unemployment checks are lookin' mighty small. If we cant finagle our way into the dome, we will make the trek to Tampa, Florida and hit up the ACC Championship game that night. We will make the call most likely on the 4th as to what our plans will be. December 6th will be an awesome day as we are meeting up with some Hofstra pals in SoBe Miami. We will be grillen, illin, and chillen at Landshark Stadium to watch the Dolphins and Patriots hopefully kill eachother. Its a Sunday night game, so i am sure most of those fuckin' terds down there will be DRUNKKKKKKKKKKKKK. (I hope we dont have to listen to Marc Anthony sing. Also, in pregame warmups I hope Joey Porter doest act like Peezy, and have his jersey all the way up to his nips).

The part that makes this trip Ultimate is that it doesnt stop there. It rolls on, as we have wayyyyyyyyyyyy more games to attend, beers to drink, and chicks to pretend to get. Monday Dec. 7th, we will be going to our first NHL game on the trip. The Panthers will be taking on Edmonton. The 8, 9, 10, we have nothing planned but sitting on the beat, and drinking. The 11th is when the trip kicks back into gear. Miami will be playing host to us for one final night as we will be watching the Heat and Mavericks battle. Dec 12 we are going to play golf in Tampa, and talk about how bad the Jets are going to KILL the Bucs the following day in the New Sombrero. Dec. 13, yea you guessed it. Jets/Bucs. December 14th, we are hitting up FSU. I have seen some chicks from that scool, and ima lookin' and ima likin'. Florida State is going down at the hands of fellow C-A-A school Georgia State. December 15th, we roll into Orlando to watch the Magic and Pacers, before departing back to ATL to meet up with D-Rock for the day. December 16th the duo, becomes a trio as Derrick and us go to G-Tech to watch them take on Arkansas Pine Bluff (real snoozer).

As the trip draws to a close, we have 2 final stops. Dec. 17th we're in Raleigh, North Carolina to see NC-State battle Northwestern. (I wonder if thats part of the ACC/Big 10 Showdown as well?) December 18th, with any luck, we will hit up Duke, and take a tour of the campus, before heading back to Georgetown to watch a G-Town beatdown. Another C-A-A school will be handing out a loss, this time to the Big East, as Old Dominion takes on G-Town.

Our last stop on the trip, is home base, the mecca, The MEADOWLANDSSSSSSSSSSSS. Dec. 20th we watch the Jets (for the 4th time on the trip, 3 live) take on the Atlanta Falcons.

Questions?

Usain Bolts a Daddy! vol. Nuhhh Linga

Well not quite, but the fastest man on the planet has adopted 3-month-old Cheetah. I mean, it's only right that dude names it "Lightning Bolt". (which he does)

Now, let's get back to breaking fucking records Usain!

-Jumpoff