Yes We're SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

BEST DAY EVER. We woke up in Creedmore, NC, ate an awesome free breakfast, and then drove 20 minutes to heaven. We arrived at heaven, parked (2 fuckin bucks to park), and walked around a bit. I got my Duke shirt, and then it all started. WE WERE ON THE COURT AT FUCKING CAMERON INDOOR, I repeat, CAMERON FUCKING INDOOR. Can you believe this? Eric and I just walked in like we owned the place. Once I was in, there was no stopping me, I was a man on a mission. We took pictures all over the joint, on Coach K court symbol, at halfcourt, on the bench, and even at the media table. We were like kids in a candy store, but not any ordinary candy store, one that has madd cherry sour shit. We left on the highest of high, our day couldnt get better. Could it?

We hopped in the Forte, did about fourte all the way to Chapel Hill. Let me tell you, this place was nice. I mean, Duke is nice and all, but Chapel Hill is like the Sistine Chapel. We went to the Dean Dome. Our first stop was the ticket office. We didnt expect the game to be sold out, and to our delight, it wasnt. I asked how much tickets were, to which the man replied "$50". I looked at Eric, Eric looked at me, we knew we werent spending that much. We kindly thanked the man, and walked to the car. Went to Franklin Street (Franklin Street is the riot capital of the world after a big North Carolina win. See Franklin Street Fires after their NCAA win, got lunch, got James his damn shot glass, and walked the campus. After the walk, we needed to regroup, and recharge. We decided to check into a hotel. This hotel was not just any hotel though, it was the Michigan St. team hotel. Yea, you heard that right. The Michigan State team hotel. We see all the players, and we are just chillen. As it gets closer to game-time, Eric and I go into full "I aint paying for ticket mode". We see a gentleman in Michigan St. apparel, and I decided to go up and ask him if he had any extra tickets. The man turns to his friend, and says to me "Give me 10 minutes, I have to ask my son." He returns about 10 minutes later with the news of "I have 1 extra". Gives me his business card, and says call me at 1 hour before the game, meet you at will call. We part ways, and then look at the Business Card, its Kenneth Lucas, the father of reigning Big 10 player of the year KALIN LUCAS. ARE YOU SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?????

After all this, we rest up, and get our Michigan State green on aka our Jets shirts. Head over to the Dean Dome and meet Mr. Lucas. Before we can meet up with Mr. Lucas we had bidness to take care of. That was getting another ticket. We park the car, hop out and basically turned out SWAG on. Asked one person, and the dude forked over a free ticket. Last row in the entire stadium, but who cares, our forthcoming ticket makes everything better. We go to the will call window, and call Mr. Lucas. He says to meet him at PLAYERS will call though. Sorry, for a second I forgot EFYS only rolls VIP. We meet him, walk into the VIP elevator, and head to the seats. We told him we wouldnt be sitting next to him, as we have another ticket upstairs, but we appreciate everything he did for us. (Which we do. Kalin Lucas and Mich. St. are our team now. When Kalin gets drafted, thats my effin dude. JJ Redick followed closely by Kalin Lucas.) He hugged us goodbye as if we were friends forever, and wished us good luck with everything on out trip, and in life. That was once again AWESOME. Mr. Lucas, if you ever see this on a search of your name on google or whatever, we want u to know that u are fuckin awesome. Thanks so much. Eric and I decided though we wanted to see what the seats he got us were like, so we ventured down there. They were GReeeeEEEEEEEEAT. The only thing that sucked about it was, the row in front of me had tall people in it. I wanted to ask them to duck down, but Coach Izzo would have gotten mad. You arent supposed to talk to the players. Yea, thats right, the row in front of us was the fuckin BENCH. Picture this, you're in the Dean Dome for the first time ever, and you are seeing a rematch of the Nat'l Championship, you got player tickets, and you're sitting 1 row from the court? Let me ask you this.... ARE YOU SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS??

We once again said goodbye, parted ways, and this time it was for good. we went upstairs and sat in the UNC student section, the last row. No one gave us shit, UNC won, it was an awesome time. End of blog right? FUCK NO

At the end of the game we decided to go down to court level once again and see if we can snag a picture with Dickey V. We get to the court, and take our stance. I feel like we dont have the best shot, since I was the hottest dude in the area, and all the bitches were going to steal all the pictures. I was right. Sluts stole all the pictures. With a last ditch effort, I say "Yo Dickey, can I get a quick picture?" he then reaches into his briefcase, hands me a photo of him that is signed. While that is awesome, I am 25, and only wanted the picture. He then accepts the request, and we are two peas in a pod, I mean honestly for 15 seconds, we were best friends. Thanks to that little whiny bitch in the backround for ruining the picture.


Thats how we fuckin ROLL.

Day 1 In Da Books

So today started as we departed good ol' Stat Nylan for Hertz Rental Car in North Brunz, it hit us. The UMV has started. We picked up the ill Kia Forte (2010 Kia I might add). We packed up our shit, and hit the road.

On the way to DC we hit Cracker Barrel. This was the first time Eric and I ate at this place. It was ok, nothing spectacular. Eric pissed about 19 times at this place though. After CB we we were in DC in no time. We did the touristy shit. Went to the Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, Air and Space Museum, and finally ate at this local sports jumpoff. It was really good. Minus the rain DC was awesome.

After that, the manly activities came into play. We hit up the Verizon Center for the #14 Georgetown Hoyas and Mount St. Marys. Georgetown smoked em. We obviosly got in for free, and sat second row. Thats how we do here at efyousports.

We jumped in the ride, and 4 minutes in Mikey Fellz hit up the cellie and he told me the good news. The Takeover, Charles Jenkins dropped 38 on Fairfield tonight, as Hofstra prevailed 84-80 at "The Macka".

On that note we hit the road and headed to Chapel Hill. In the car we listened to the Aerial Assault on the Patriots defense. Drew Brees dropped more bombs on the Patriots tonight, then the US has dropped in Iraq in the last 11 years. Colston and Co dickslapped the shit out of the fuckin cheater patriots.

We are now in Creedmore, NC and ready for bed. All and all, we had a SICK day so far, and its going to get better and better as the trip progresses. Holler at us.

Eric and Brian

The Ultimate Man Vacation

Sorry that you havent heard from us in a while. Eric and I got laid the fuck off. Ya know what though? It's all good. Fuck work.

What I am about to tell you will make you all wish you got laid off. Eric and I planned the ILLEST trip in the land. We are taking the "Ultimate Man Vacation".

What is the UMV you ask? Well, its just the best road trip ever assembled. We are renting a car, most likely from Hertz in North Brunswick (our local road trip jumpoff) and kicking back, and enjoying life.

Our First stop will land us in the mecca of sports, The Meadowlands. It will play host to our first stop on the trip. Jets vs. Carolina on November 29th. We go home, sleep in our beds one last time, then like Michael Bisping after a Henderson punch, WE OUTTTTTT.

Novemeber 30th, we invade the Verizon Center in Washington, DC for Georgetown vs. Mount St. Mary. After that, we head to Chapel Hill (Dec. 1st), to watch number 2 vs. number 4, Michigan State and North Carolinaaaaaaa. Our next host city will be Clemson University (Dec. 2nd), where its always "Miller Time". We're going to watch another Big 10 vs. ACC challenge, as Illinois takes on Clemson at littlejohn coliseum. Dec 3rd is a relaxing day, as we will find ourselves in Marietta, Georgia to watch our beloved Jets steam roll the Bills in Canada. As die hard Jets fans, we dont miss a game, or a snap for that matter. We will be in Mazzy's Sports Bar, as it is the official Jets Fan Club in the Atlanta area.

December 4th, we kick the arena/stadium/coliseum tour back in full gear and head into the dirty dirty. We will watch the Knicks and Hawks from beautiful Phillips Arena (I hope Speedy is still on the team, Hofstra what whattttttttttt). December 5th is a toss up. We would LOVE to go to the SEC championship game in the Georgia Dome, but as we look for tickets, our unemployment checks are lookin' mighty small. If we cant finagle our way into the dome, we will make the trek to Tampa, Florida and hit up the ACC Championship game that night. We will make the call most likely on the 4th as to what our plans will be. December 6th will be an awesome day as we are meeting up with some Hofstra pals in SoBe Miami. We will be grillen, illin, and chillen at Landshark Stadium to watch the Dolphins and Patriots hopefully kill eachother. Its a Sunday night game, so i am sure most of those fuckin' terds down there will be DRUNKKKKKKKKKKKKK. (I hope we dont have to listen to Marc Anthony sing. Also, in pregame warmups I hope Joey Porter doest act like Peezy, and have his jersey all the way up to his nips).

The part that makes this trip Ultimate is that it doesnt stop there. It rolls on, as we have wayyyyyyyyyyyy more games to attend, beers to drink, and chicks to pretend to get. Monday Dec. 7th, we will be going to our first NHL game on the trip. The Panthers will be taking on Edmonton. The 8, 9, 10, we have nothing planned but sitting on the beat, and drinking. The 11th is when the trip kicks back into gear. Miami will be playing host to us for one final night as we will be watching the Heat and Mavericks battle. Dec 12 we are going to play golf in Tampa, and talk about how bad the Jets are going to KILL the Bucs the following day in the New Sombrero. Dec. 13, yea you guessed it. Jets/Bucs. December 14th, we are hitting up FSU. I have seen some chicks from that scool, and ima lookin' and ima likin'. Florida State is going down at the hands of fellow C-A-A school Georgia State. December 15th, we roll into Orlando to watch the Magic and Pacers, before departing back to ATL to meet up with D-Rock for the day. December 16th the duo, becomes a trio as Derrick and us go to G-Tech to watch them take on Arkansas Pine Bluff (real snoozer).

As the trip draws to a close, we have 2 final stops. Dec. 17th we're in Raleigh, North Carolina to see NC-State battle Northwestern. (I wonder if thats part of the ACC/Big 10 Showdown as well?) December 18th, with any luck, we will hit up Duke, and take a tour of the campus, before heading back to Georgetown to watch a G-Town beatdown. Another C-A-A school will be handing out a loss, this time to the Big East, as Old Dominion takes on G-Town.

Our last stop on the trip, is home base, the mecca, The MEADOWLANDSSSSSSSSSSSS. Dec. 20th we watch the Jets (for the 4th time on the trip, 3 live) take on the Atlanta Falcons.

Questions?

Usain Bolts a Daddy! vol. Nuhhh Linga

Well not quite, but the fastest man on the planet has adopted 3-month-old Cheetah. I mean, it's only right that dude names it "Lightning Bolt". (which he does)

Now, let's get back to breaking fucking records Usain!

-Jumpoff

Peeeeeeeezy

Joey Porter talking junk for the upcoming game on Sunday. Like Brandon Marshall said "his muscles are popcorn muscles".

I like the Jets this weekend. I think they smack the Dolphins around once and for all. It's a must win. If we lose on Sunday, I think our season is over. Win, and we go into the bye week at 5-3. I like our chances with that record.

Watch Brandon Marshall serve up Porter that fuckin queer.

All Swag Team

With the NBA season upon us, I decided to give the fans what they have been asking for. I am about to name my 2009-2010 Swag Team.

If I was a fantasy owner (which I am, werd to JJ Rediculous) I would pick all of these guys for my squad. These guys will get your team points, rebounds, and sluts.

Without further adieu:

PG: Travis Diener- Diener hails from Marquette and has gotten me tickets, and visitor passes to many a game. He has a great shot, and not only drops dimes, he married one this offseason.

SG: JJ Redick- This goes without saying, but JJ is a point scoring machine. Every season in the NBA he gets better and better. This year I fully expect him to be an All Star, and maybe even compete for an MVP award. His resume' speaks volumes. Erin Andrews, and countless supermodels support this sharpshooter, as well as efyousports.

SF: LeBron Fuckin' James- WITNESSSSSSSSSSSS ( I would write a full paragraph, but thats pointless, ya'll know how this playboy do)

PF: Chris "Birdman" Anderson- Every game he hustlin'. He blocks shots, pumps up the crowd, and impregnates women wherever he goes. When Birdman enters the room, Birdman ready to fly.

C: Dwight Howard- He is on my fantasy team, and he is the best player in NBA history with braces. Double-Double machine, maybe this year he can get some trip/doubs

Honorable Mention: Eric "Mayne Event" Maynor, Gerald Henderson, Speedy Claxton, Ron Artest.

J.J. Headache to release a Rap Album

This album will gross three album sales it's first week. J.J's mom, his gay brother, and Brian...

The irony of the album being named "Waste Management"... Hahahaha



-Jumpoff

"Welcome to the Machida Era!" vol. Robbery!

The UFC continues to throw fuel onto my fire of hate after last night's "unanimous" decision in the main event at UFC 104. Defending light-heavyweight champion "Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida CLEALY got worked by challenger Mauricio "Shogun" Rua.

For those of you who don't know, I am a Machida hater. I've got respect for the dude, but he is so fucking boring to watch. And after watching his fight against Shogun, I swore that we would finally stop hearing the constant dick riding for Anderson Silva and Machida. Like seriously, how can the judges UNANIMOUSLY give Machida the fight? I don't know what to say. Fuck the UFC. You'll never be able to out sell boxing with bullshit like this.

Also, an epic FAIL for ESPN last night.

ARE YOU SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?

Dick Vitale is straight smiling right now. Duke has unofficially gotten their recruit. Kyrie Irving from the Dirty Jerz has selected to play for the Dukies in Durham BABYYYYYYYYY. This is one of their most prized recruits in a long time. He is def. goin to bring them back to the promised land. BANK IT. The news is expected to be announced next month, when you can make it official. I doubt he will ever touch Redick Records, but ya never know.

DUKE BABYYYYYYYYYY

Box Breaaaaaaaaaaaaak

One of my all time favorite YouTube videos is Rojays Unreal Box Break. This is a real classy video. Box Breaking is effin awesome. Johnny Man and I always talk about it, but we are too cool to do it. If we ever pulled a Pat Dodson card like Rojay we could easily quit work and straght ill for the rest of our lives.

Another blog going off topic, but I feel as if we have to give it up to Rojay. Maybe with all the shout outs we are giving over the course of time, maybe we can score a big one.

Why??

I am going to go a little off topic here. I am at work str8 illen today, and I am all over youtube. I put my favorite song on, Miley Cyrus "party in the usa". As I am rawkin out to it, I see on the right side of the screen that there are fuckin 10 videos of people covering the song. I turn a few on. After watching/listening for a few seconds I begin to wonder who the fuck does thi. Think about it.
A: You think you're good at singing this song.
B: You take the time to record yourself
C: You take more time and upload video on youtube.

Here is what I think to A, B, C.
A. You fuckin suck, shut the fuck up
B. Get a fuckin life, no one wants to watch you (unless you're hot)
C. Seriously, uploading a damn song onto youtube is the bigges sign you are a fuckin loser. Do you tell people "hey, just uploaded my miley rendition, go check it out"

Here are some videos.

Point A. Yo, as a man, its cool to like this song, but once you take it to youtube, you have to raise some questions of sexuality. FAIL


Point B: This dude is doing it for the Pussy. Its ehh. I would love to punch him in the face. Any girl that wants to ef you cause you sing Miley on the internet is a fuckin skank.


Point C: You just suck, shut up forever.

Athlete Marriages (LAWL)

I was reading the post this morning when I uncovered how Steve Phillips, you know that homo from the Mets, has cheated on his wife. I’m thinking big deal, almost all guys in sports wind up cheating on their wives, who cares. Then I went on to read a letter this skank wrote to the wife, and I realized, why do these famous sports personalities always go for psychos?

This filty whore was saying stuff about how the catholic church doesn’t mind adultery because it makes the person happy, and even went as far as to describe birthmarks near his dong. First off, if the catholic church was ok with adultery, why on earth is it one of the 10 commandments of stuff not to do?, Second, way TMI about Steve Phillips. Clearly this broad’s got a great personality, and is definitely intelligent.

So I’m thinking to myself, wow, this girl has to be a 12 on a scale of 1-10, Derek Jeter or Sean Avery status, for him to even consider sleeping with this girl. To potentially throw your marriage and career away for this girl, I’m thinking at least Ashley Dupre (Elliot Spitzer’s hooker), who was at worst a solid 8. Then my friend Eric who I work with showed me these pictures of her:





Wow Steve, I’ve questioned a lot of your moves as a GM (Trading Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano, Trading AJ Burnett, Signing Mo Vaughn, etc.) But really??? This girl is about a 1, a 2 after a night of Big Daddy Kris Jenkins drinking. I’m utterly appalled at that. That girl looks like Danny Devito’s love child with Ricki Lake.


Hope the next career works out for ya, keep those hogs happy.
-Jumpman Joe

Carsten Charles Sabathia

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. Dude is lights out. I would have taken CC and Arod vs. All tonight. These 2 fine specimen of athlete completely owned the fuckin Angels. This series is OVER. I just lol'd thinking about this series. Sorry Angel fans, but ya'll suck

Thank You

I just want to thank Alex Rodriguez for being the best baseball player that has ever graced a diamond. It has been a pleasure watching you, and we here at efyousports couldnt be happier for you. We are also sorry that you will require back surgery this offseason. The Yankee roster is carrying 3 catchers, but you are carrying the entire team.
With Love
-efyousports

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

What is this? Mariano Rivera has been accused of being a cheat. After the video evidence, I cant say I disagree. I am never one to bash people who take team enhancing drugs (Alex Rodriguez, Calvin Pace, and The ManRam, Manny Ramirez), but I draw the line right there. Bonds, Sosa, Schilling, Ortiz cheated. I love the Yankees, but this is disheartening news. Cheating is fine, but do it in the regular season when no one really watches baseball. Please dont bring attention to our team if its with negative context. Mo, I think you owe us an apology.

What do you guys think?
-Brian

A-Rod shows his appreciation for Jeter's Butt Cheeks

I've made numerous jokes in regards to A-Rod actually being gay. But now, I'm absolutely speechless...

















Ol' Gay-Rod had his target on LOCK! LOL!!!!

-Jumpoff

Dupedddddddd

I still love em though

(clicking on picture makes it bigger)

The Life of..

Another Sunday, another Jets loss for the duo. This week was the first week that the trio had the nightmares.

I am still a fuckin' Jets fan though. I still am happy I bought my PSL for next year, I still am happy I have 4 Upper Deck seats as well. Fuck the haters here. I am a believer of the saying "We ride together, we die together, Jets fans for life."

Kris Jenkins out for the year, Sanchez looking like Benchize, Thomas Jones being the worst back in the effin league. Schottenheimer sucking worse than his father, Rex showing he is a rookie. All that shit come with the territory. Yea, I am effin pissed, but yea I will be tuning in on Sunday for the Jets and the Raaaaaaaaidas

Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints? Who dat? Who dat?

Well it isn't the Mighty G-Mennnnnn that's for sure. The Saints offense went to fucking TOWN on the Giants defense today. The Giants rush defense made the Saints o-line look like they were the Great Wall of China. Drew Brees was looking like Tom Brady vs. the Titans that day, and Marques Colston was.... KING COLSTON!

The Giants had no answer for Brees & Co. Brees lit up the secondary for 369 yards and 4 TD's while Colston racked up 166 and a TD. Them boys from the boyou are no joke kid. And I'm honestly, not even mad about it. Good shit NOLA. We'll see you again hopefully with a healthy secondary, in the NFC championships.

P.S. Brandon Jacobs better do some work son. No more top-toeing and shit. Bradshaw got that spark in his eye and runs every down like he's not stopping until he in the end zone.

We got another gunslinging happy chucker in Kurt Warner and the Cards next week. Hopefully it isn't the second coming.

-Jumpoff

I’d EF her “Girl Next Door Version"

That’s right, in our latest installment of I’d EF her, inspired by the following article in the NY Daily News (a paper which another friend of the blog, James Parziale, writes for) http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2009/10/12/2009-10-12_lorelei_does_nyu_porn_star_pursues_a_masters_degree.html, Jumpman Joe has decided to go with his fantasy scenario of boy meets girl, falls for girl, girl winds up being pornstar. This could happen to you.

Elisha Cuthbert is gorgeous, smart, Canadian, loves her beer and hockey players (Sean Avery, Dion Phaneuf), and always plays the hottest roles. From Jack Bauer’s daughter, to a horny 17 yr old in Old School, to an episode of Punk’d with then boyfriend, absolutle BALLER Sean Avery, to the sexiest role of all time, Danielle, a porn star in “The Girl Next Door”. Ladies and most importantly Gentlemen, without further adieu, I present, Elisha Cuthbert.

Jumpman Joe

Hop Off Beeeeeeez Nuts

http://backporch.fanhouse.com/2009/10/16/braylon-edwards-tweets-would-like-browns-fans-to-leave-him-alo/?ncid=txtlnkusspor00000002

Yo Cleveland Browns faN, hop off B. Eazzzzzzzy. He doesnt like you guys. He left Cleveland for a reason.

For the millions that read us, I am talking about a twitter viral attack on Braylon Edwards. The fans of the Browns (all 9 of them) have made it their job to harass Braylon, and he cant take it anymore. He has to focus on being a Jet. He says "I would appreciate it if disgruntled Cleveland fans would stop sending messages. Fact of the matter is, I'm a Jet now. Go message Joshua Cribbs" DOPE BOYZZZZZZZZZZZ

You guys have LeBron, and yo, thats my dude. Nothing but love for him, but hop off Edwards folks. Let us WITNESS his greatness now. Ya'll had your chance with him. He caught 16 TD passes in a season for you guys. You think bringing in that bitch Eric Mangina was a help? (no I am not talking to you Jets fans, we know that he has been the biggest asset to our team this year). You have no one to blame but yourself Cleveland.

You knew the Maize and Blue wasnt down in OH-IO.

-Brian

Ta Ta Ta Ta Today Junior

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/football/blog/dr_saturday/post/FSU-releases-NCAA-transcripts-Some-Noles-readi?urn=ncaaf,196189

So if there really was a Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good, Florida State Football might have an entire class. Rivals.com is reporting that some of the players on the team read at a 2nd grade level. When I was in second grade I was wiping my own ass after I got done reading the Wall Streeet Journal. What the fuck is this shit? They cant read "The Cat In The Hat"? No wonder Bobby Bowden cant win a game there, the kids cant even read the fuckin scoreboard.

Christian Ponder: Hey, Are we winning?

Taiwan Easterling: Shut Up Bitch, I cant read mothafucker

Christian: Go out for a pass

Taiwan: Throw me the ball bitch, im straight fuckin' tonight.

Sorry Bobby, maybe instead of hiting the field, you should hit your players. Who the fuck cant read? ahahaha..

-Brian

Nobody circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills...

Check out this article courtesy of yahoo:

ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. (AP)- It didnt take long forRyan Abshagen to discover how many Buffalo Bills fans are unhappy with their tem and want owner Ralph Wilson to make sweeping changes.

In a little more than a week, Abshagen, an unemployed 18-year-old from New Freedom, Pa., raised enough money-$1,402 and counting as of Wednesday-through an Internet campaign to rent a billboard and advertise a message of discontent for everyone in Buffalo to see.

"I honestlly never thought it would ever be this big," Abshagen said. "Fans are disgruntled. It's out there. It's big. People are going to hear about it."

Starting early Monday and running for a week, the message will be flashed up to 3,000 times a day on a digital billboard overlooking Interstate 190 on the south side of the city, said Abshagen after signing a contract with an advertising company.


OK......I see a few things going on here.....first of all I was suprised to read that the Buffalo Bills have fans. Secondly, no shit this kid is unemployed...he lives in Pennsylvania and roots for the BILLS......before you go all social studies teacher on my ass yes I fucking realize Buffalo isnt that far from PA, but what kinda idiot roots for the Bills when he lives in the same home state as the WORLD CHAMPION Steelers.......nice decision making there buddy. On the real though....lets give this kid some credit.....when the Jets were 1-15 in 1996 I had this EXACT same idea....I was such an excited 12 year old kid and I told my parents who then beat the shit outta me and told me I should be a Giants fan. Fuckin'a you cant win either way.

Also.......the dude CLEARLY picked the wrong week to shit talk his team......after Trent Edwards breaks the single game record for passing yards on Sunday and the Bill beat the Jets like 412-3 people are going to be callin for this kids head. Good luck buddy.

If Jeezy Payin Lebron, Im Paying JJ Redick

Jumpoff J and I will be playing fantasy basketball ON THE SAME TEAM. We co managing a team. I wont be at the draft, as I will be watching the Jets fuckin SMACK the shit outta the Bills. Honestly tho, our team is going to be awesome. I am leaving my faith in him and his drafting ability. All we need as a 12th man is JJ Redick. We can call our team JJ Rediculous. We will def. post our team after its done, so you can follow us as we take the crown.

I've never done fantasy basketball, but like football last year, WE GOT DIS

-Brian

For Charlie Davies...

We here at EfYouSports like to talk a lot of shit on people most/all of the time. This is however a fairly serious situation...Charlie Davies of the US Mens national soccer team was involved in a one car accident a few days ago and is in critical but stable condition. Like US citizens always do, the team last night pulled through and overcame a 0-2 score with only 20 minutes left to tie it on a header in the 95th minute. The US qualified for South Africa 2010 and won the CONCACAF (I think thats right?) region while doing so.

Last nights comeback was for you Charlie. Also, for the rest of the world. USA BABY. ALL DAYY

Cant wait for the US to show the world whats good this summer at the World Cup.

-Easy E

Props To Mannywood

So it's been a few months since we have dropped a Manny blog. I love this dude, and I felt it was necessary to mention him. Look at the Dodgers. They are in the NLCS again. Where were they without Manny? GOLFING. He takes team enhancing drugs, he has real long dreads, and he used to come out to the Styles P song "I Get High". Does it get any better than that? He is a baseball legend.

When people think Manny, they think all of the above, but they tend to forget how amazing he is. He is a sure fire hall of famer if baseball doesnt cheat him. I loathe Joe Torre, and dont want to see him back in the World Series vs. my Yankees, but it's hard to count a team out when they have Manny RAZmirez on it.

The NLCS kicks off tonight, tune in to watch MANNYWOOD do work.

-Brian

Lou Holtz... Still?? Really?

So I know Lou Holtz is a college football legend and all, but why is ESPN still on his jock? Last night, I watched the end of the Tulsa/Boise St. game, and thought that they had a drunk ass fan from the stands in the booth. Lou is an old dude, but damn, he slurs alllllllllll of his words. It's to the point now that it was sort of funny. Every sentence he muttered had a slurred word in it. I was thinking to myself, Chris Fowler must be laughing so hard inside. Fowler is that dude though. The way he owned that effin loser from Clemson who was distraught over a college football game.. ahaha, doesnt he know college football is garbage?? Meet me on Sunday.

Lou, if you are reading this:
1. Retire
2. If 1 doesnt come to fruition, shout out our blog on live tv, but dont effin slur the words.

-Brian

I'd eff her all day every day! vol. Jumpoff's Jumpoff

This is my first contribution to the latest "I'd Eff Her" installment which was recently debuted by the trio. The woman who tops my list, is the epitome of DIME! Not even Silverstein himself would be able to land this bombshell. Without further adieu, I present to you:

Jessica Burciaga

Side Note...

I watch college football on ESPN, or ABC...something like that I forget who Disney owns now. Anyways they love to give out shameless plugs for their piece of shit shows and other sporting events. Lately the big thing has been the NASCAR chase for the cup or whatever those rednecks call it. And the dude that is in 1st place in all these screen graphics is Mark Martin....someone HAS to know what I'm talking about...this guy looks like he's about 4,000 years old......obviously he's in frist place, his fuckng father is the guy that invented the wheel. As it turns out the dude is "only" 50.......in the sports world thats like 80. I guess we gotta give him props though.....everyone else his age is driving 35 mph in the left lane on the garden state parkway.

-Easy E

Shut The EF Up Part Deux

What’s up guys? Jumpman Joe back at ya – you may remember me for my UFC 100 blog a few months ago. Well hopefully soon enough I can be a full time blogger and turn the tremendous trio upside down (Especially Brian, because we have mutual love and hatred for each other at the same time). I figured instead of just leaving Eric’s previous blog mentioning Kerry Rhodes shutting the ef up at that, I’d just add my own. I was reading the post, as I do pretty much first thing in the morning when I get into my lush office, and come across an article about coach Ryan still seething. Fair enough, he should be, he ripped himself and his team at the press conference, etc. But I kept reading (as painful as it was) and came across these quotes:

Linebacker Bart Scott called the Dolphins' wildcat formation a "gimmick".
Then there was LB Calvin Pace, who called Dolphins QB Chad Henne "a second-year clown quarterback."
"I can't respect that stuff, all that wildcat," Pace said. "We're in the NFL. Don't come here with that nonsense."

Really guys? Are you f’in serious? How can you talk shit like that? Not only Kerry Rhodes on twitter, now it’s these 2 clowns to the media? Ok, I was a big proponent of the Jets talking crap when they were 3-0, you just lost 2 straight, and that “gimmick” offense, as college as it is, lit you all up for 3 TD’s in the 4th quarter. Scott you were basically invisible all game, Ricky Williams ran all over you. And Pace, I’m not even gonna go there, you’re the a-hole who missed the first 4 games for your performance (or as Brian refers to them “Team”) enhancing drugs, and now you open your mouth. I think Ryan needs to have these guys start talking with their play. As the old quote goes, “Actions speak louder than words”. So guys, could you please SHUT THE EF UP. Play ball baby. I am going to be there Sunday like usual. I always bring my A game, you gots ta bring yours.

Thanks

-Jumpman Joe

Shut the EF up...

"u must have lost ur mind i dont blow coverages big dawg"-Kerry Rhodes on twitter

Thats funny Kerry because it sure as shit looks like you blew one here...this must have been the pass that Ronnie Brown didnt complete for 21 yards then right? Or how about you sprinting after Teddy Ginn on his touchdown? Keep fucking twittering though it's working really well...should get you a trip to the pro bowl.

Kerry Rhodes. "Hollywood". Whatever the fuck you call yourself these days...you should change your name to "overpaid, run my mouth but cant make a play for my life". The only thing hollywood about this dude lately is the fact that he's been entertainment for opposing offenses. Honestly man...get the FUCK off of twitter...I'm so tired of these professional athletes all over this goddamn thing.....I understand you're talkin to hot girls with fat asses big fucking deal.....you're a multi-million dollar professional athlete you can bang any girl you want.

All you do is talk mad shit about opposing teams and players yet I can't remember the last time I saw you make a play. I did see you get your ass burned chasing Ted Ginn last night, and I did see you bite on play actions and get beat in the middle of the field, and I sure as SHIT saw you let Anthony Fasano catch a 3rd down pass on the final drive while you waived your arm in vain trying to swat it down. Maybe if you practiced your hand work for football and quit fucking tweeting and texting so god damn much you wouldnt actually suck.

Now.......having said that....you Mr. Rhodes are a very talented player, set your fucking priorites straight get your shit together and make something happen on Sunday.

Prove Me Wrong

Last night was fucking ugly. One of the worst losses I can remember. We gave the defense the lead 3 different fuckin times in the 4th quarter, and each time, they folded like a 2/7 off suit.

-Thomas Jones is fuckin awful. No joke, I would rather have Christoper Reeves post paralysis, pre death behind Sanchez.

- Leon is a good back, Rex always says I want to get hime 20 carries a game. Newsflash he hasnt had 20 yet. You're the damn coach, you can make that happen. DO IT

- Kerry Rhodes was so awful last night, I thought the Jets re-acquired Reggie Tongue.

- I man love you Kris Jenkins. Sorry for the failures on the field, but I appreciate you trying.

-Bart/Kerry stop fuckin talking smack if you aint going to back it up. Like BDK (Big Daddy Kris) said "We got served a nice cup of shut up"

Must Win Sunday.

Brothers From Another Mother?

To celebrate Michael Strahan's new sitcom "Brothers" two episode survival goal, I have decided to post two individuals who can possibly be potential brothers from different mothers!

Brother 1: Stephen Curry (Golden State Warriors)

Brother 2: OJ Da Juiceman (Atlanta based rapper)


Both, whom grew up in very different environments, must share one thing in common because the resemblance is uncanny! Dell Curry must have gotten around during his Charlotte days. Because he obviously abandoned his illegitimate son, OJ, who coincidentally (according to his Wiki) grew up with a single mother in Eastern Atlanta. So yeah Dell, you got some explaining to do!

-Jumpoff

DHB: Fastest Man In The NFL! (Draft)

The Oakland Raiders had to wait until Week 5 of the NFL season to see some signs of promise from their 2009 first round pick Darrius Heyward-Bey. No, he didn't burn past an elite defensive back, catch three touchdowns in a game, or pull off a King Colston like catch.

Instead, DHB showed to us why good ol Al' pulled the trigger on drafting this kid. Peep the former Terp wideout get his Usain Bolt on, while his team was getting smacked up by the undefeated (5-0) New York G-Mennnnnn. Someone next time should let young'n know to make an actual play on the ball instead of treating it like a 100m dash.



-Jumpoff

I'd ef her to start the work week...

And I dont wanna hear any bullshit from you guys saying "who the fuck posts to start the work week at 4:40 on a monday"...well half of you probably dont have jobs anyway...but for those of you that do half of you are probably off for Columbus day...guy discovered America or some propaganda bullshit like that.

Anyways...I introduce to you Minka Kelly. You may know her as the hot as anything cheerleader from the show Friday Night Lights...we here at EfYouSports know her as the fucking rediculously hot I'd donate my dog to Vick and Co., LLC for 30 seconds with her girl.

Enjoy gentlemen.

You Choose

I copped this from Deadspin.com (thanks joe)

After seeing these numbers, who would you rather have in the playoffs?

Player A: 42 games, 151 at-bats, 40 hits, 7 homers, 19 rbi, .265 batting
Player B: 42 games, 158 at-bats, 46 hits, 9 homers, 25 rbi, .291 batting

So before all you fake Yankee fans jump down ones throat recognize stats.

Player A, Reggie Jackson aka Mr. October
Player B, AfuckinRod aka Best of the Best.

Umpiring. So Easy A Blind Man Can Do It

What is sports coming to? Every game we watch nowadays has an AWFUL call. My all time favorite will always be Jeff Maier, Mayer, watever.. Friday night in the Yankee/Twins game there was another call that was just mind boggling. Playoff baseball has more umpires, becuase the game is more important. Phil Cuzzi was assigned the Left Field Line on Friday. If you're a Yanks fan, which I am, I am in heart with Cuzzi right now. Joe Mauer hit a drive down the left field line. Melky Cabrera actually touched the ball with his glove in fair territory, and the ball proceeded to land in fair territory as well. A clear double. Cuzzi got his hands together, and signaled the foul ball motion. AWESOMEEEEEEE. That play is what closed down the Metrodom early. Without that call, Yanks probably lose that game, and extending the series. With that call, We have Carsten Charles on huge rest, and ready to plow through the Angels.

BTW: ARod hit a mawnsta shot that game. Bottom of the 9th have you. (Hi Haters, Bye Haters)

Yankee Cleaning

Did anyone think that it wasnt going to be a sweep? Cmon now. Last night, the New York Yankees polished off the Twins and became the last ever MLB team to win in the Metrodome.

King Alex had a very average series by his standards. 2 Home Runs, 6 RBI's in 3 games. I am hoping he can step up next series as I know he can hit a little better than what he showed this past series.

The ALCS kicks off Friday night in The House That Alex built. We will be welcoming Robert Abreu anc Co. back. It shoud be a good series, but I cant see the Yankees losing. I have them winning in 5.

LOL@Boston. Red Sox swept, Pats Lose. Awesome Weekend

Sir Alex

Arod 5
Red Sox 1

So far in the 2009 ALDS, Alex Rodriguez has 5 RBI's, the Red Sox have 1 combined. Sucks for them. Yanks close out the Metrodome for Twins fans Sunday, while Fenway will be closing its door for the year come Sunday as well.

Yankeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
-Brian

PS. Sunday would extra special if Boston losses, New England losses, and Yanks win. If that was the case though, we wouldnt have a damn blog.

Southern Miss Shooting???

Yo, On the way home noLa, we all stopped off at an Applebees down the road from Brett Favres alma mater, Southern Miss University. This Applebees was decked out in Southern Miss stuff. If we didnt know any better, we would think they were an actual college, who had decent athletics. Point of this story is this, I was just there, and now I hear about this shooting? Pretty weird. I am seeing that it's under investigation, and it might be self inflicted. I guess Southern Miss is thanking their lucky stars it was only the punter, and not the running back.

Eagles' Vick to star in 8-part TV series...

Are you fucking kidding me? This is what is wrong with this fucking country....you get a dumb ass like Michael Vick, who dosent even really have any football talent.. the dude can just run faster than I drive (I drive slow, and yield to pedestrians aka I'm NOT Donte Stallworth).....he totally fucks up, serves his time which I gotta say he maned up for that....now he back in the NFL that'cool (SIIIIIKE).....but some dumb ass fucking TV producer wants to star him in an 8 part TV series where he will probably make more money than everyone reading this COMBINED. It's such fucking bullshit.....we reward people in this country for doing the wrong thing. Next thing we know, OJ Simpson will be a color commentator for fuckin court TV.

I'd EF her....

So it only took the three of us idiots about a year to realize something. Not only do we love sports...but we fucking LOVE women too....and hot ones you ask? Do I even need to answer that...

I'd like to introduce the first weekly "I'd EF her":

Miranda Kerr.....Miranda comes to us from the place that should be quite familiar to all of us Victoria's Secret, and while I'm sure she's heard it from a bunch of drunk assholes many times in her life...she could read me her rights ANY day of the week.

Enjoy fellas.

-Easy E

You Got Coles'd

So Theo Fleury writes a book about being sexually abused by his Junior Hockey coach, and his 13 year drug binge that was to follow the incident. Seems like a great book.


What I dont get thouh is this: Theo is a big dude, even when he was playing Juniors. This coach was a real dbag, and had harrassed others. Theo should have just punched him in the face, he is a tough hockey player, not a pansy golfer or anything.

Hope the book does well, cause his career fizzled out worse than Ryan Leafs NFL career.

Thanks

I just wanted to send a big thanks to Eric Mangini. Us here at efyousports love you at this current time. You have single handily dick slapped Bill Bellicheat, and we love it. You are seriously like herpes. The gift that keeps on giving. I wonder whats in store before the trade deadline? We have pretty much ravaged your team enough, but I am sure there is a surprise left.

Think of it like this. We traded a draft pick, a coach, and a slot receiver, for Mark Sanchize, Rex Ryan, and Breeeeeeeeeezy Braylon Edwards. Jets Win.

Rio Gets The Olympics...

Waaaah Waaaah those freakin whiney ass bitches in Chicago are so suprised/pissed off that THEY didnt get picked. Hello? Are you fucking retarted...Rio/Chicago...Rio/Chicago...umm yes I think I'll take beautiful topless thong wearing Brazilian chicks on white sandy beaches over some fake ass wanna be New York City on Lake whatever the fuck it is.

I'm sure LeBron and the boys on the US basketball team are really fucking dissapointed...like they dont slay enough chicks already...this shit is going to be out of control.

Viva la Rio.

-Easy E

The Yankees Won...

Big fucking deal...get over it...it's baseball for crying out loud. Last time I checked it's October that means football is upon us. Baseball is for fags...and honestly if you're a yankee fan thats over like 15 years old you've seen them win like 694 world series anyway. So just shut the fuck up about baseball already it's football season bitches.

-Easy E

Channing Crowder (lol)

So that toolbox Channing Crowder keeps running his mouth. He is the new, shittier Joey Porter. Why does he open his mouth? Honestly, he is gayer than Elton John. In todays reports he was reported as saying (in regards to L.) "We do not like each other," Crowder said. "With Florida State, I hated him. I hate him now. If I see him out...I'm not going to slap him, but I'm not going to be pleasant. Every time he sees me, he starts cussing. I see him and I start cussing. It's going to be like that the whole game." Crowder also said he plans to "cuss out" Mark Sanchez on Monday Night Football.

Let's break this down. Man to Man Channing, u are a sick loser, and you effin suck.
Statement 1- We do not like eachother.
Solution- Shut the fuck up, play football. When on a football field, you have 10 friends, they are your teammates. Leon hates you, and thinks ur a homo, but doesnt express those feelings out loud. He knows no one cares.

Statement 2- With Florida State, I hated him. I hate him now. If I see him out...I'm not going to slap him, but I'm not going to be pleasant.
Soltion- Shut the fuck up. Its football. Let me guess Channing, you are going to tackle him if you see him? Isnt that your job?

Statement 3- Cuss out
Solution- Have mom sign your permission slip before you cuss anyone out.

The Jets are going to ROLL Miami come Monday.

B. Easssssyyyyyyyyyy Braylon Edwards

Jets made a splash in the market today. We have landed our big name WR, and his name.... Braylon Edwards.

Braylon was a star at the University of Michigan, and even got to wear the coveted #1jersey there. His NFL career has been less than stellar, due in part to his career being in Cleveland. The Browns are so bad, that if King James decided to suit up for them, he would be the best. l. Instead, all their fans "Witness" is Eric Mangini, and his huge fucking vagina.

With Rex Ryan at the helm, Braylon will fit right in. He is not on the defense, and therefore will have less to learn. Brian Schottenheimer likes to go shotgun on 3rd and 1 anyway, now he has more reason to.

I can see it now. A fade in the endzone.. Remember those Jets fans? Yea me either.

BRAYLONNNNNNNNNNNNNN BABY
-Brian