Timmy Te'doh

Damn. Now I have to see this little bitch at the combine? Wont he go away?? He has changed his throwing motion, he is going to be a qb in the NFL, he is going to bring fan support all over, blah blah blah. STFU Tim Tebow is a fuckin bitch. He played at Florida and they ran the spread offense. That's like me going to the Rec center and playing basketball with kids my age. Of course I am going to fuckin go beast mode on them. I am way better then them, and Florida had better athletes then most schools. Put him in the NFL, and he will be a zero. He will be worse then a zero.

Also, WTF are these athletes at the combine wearing? This aint dancing with the stars. No NFL fan wants to see these mamouth animals in skin tight under armour clothing. Like, when Mt. Cody runs his 40, I am sure dudes dick is going to be hitting the floor. That will slow that man down. Sad part is, he couldnt probably beat me in the 40. FUCK, I am out of shape.

At the end of this blog, I began to realize Timmy T isnt as bad as I make him out to be. Its Urban Meyer who I hate the most. I am not wishing Tebow success in the NFL, but he kind of reminds me of myself a little bit. All the talent in the world, just needs a chance. Like this blog for instance. Have you read a better blog in the last 45 seconds? No. My blog is awesome. So maybe Tim Tebow can win one for the gippur over here. Whadya say bitch?

YM

Bitches, man

As you know, I once had a girlfriend. YUPPPPPPPPPP, girls loved me at one point. I mean, who wouldnt? I am a fuckin celebrity blogger. Bitch get off me.

So yea, tooting my own horn rant over, back to the blog.

I once dated a girl named Jamie. We knew eachother for like 5 years and dated on and off, on and off, on and off, off and on for about 4 years. Guess how many world championships my teams won? FUCKIN ZERO. Its like hashem was saying "Brian, while you date her, I will not let you be happy in the sports world. You might not have blue balls in the bedroom, but ahaha, jokes on you in the sports game." He was right. I fuckin lost everything in my sports world.

The bitch dumps me, and the Yanks win a world series, Jets make the AFC Championship game, Team USA won Silver, and Hofstra basketball is the heat. All in a year. WTF is that? Was hashem really serious about punishing me? The second it was over, he lifted my sports ban, and gave me happniess. I want to know though, what does a blogger like me have to do to capitalize in both angles of the game? Bitches, and Championships.

For the record, baseball is for the birds at this point. I aint into that shit anymore. Hockey is like a Mitchell and Ness throwback, people only care every 4 years. The Jets and Hofstra though are my fuckin teams.

Remember 06?? The fuckin Skincident. I would explain the incident, but let's be real. No one fuckin reads this thing. If you read it, its because I linked you to it, and you did me a favor. So yea, Hofstra ran fuckin shit in the CAA's that year, and in the championship game, they crapped out. Before that game, our best player got punched in his junk. It was awful. That bus ride home though I felt like I too had gotten punched in the nuts as well. You know who was there to enjoy the game with me? Yea, you guessed it. Fuckin Jamie. THANKSSSSSSSS. Dont worry though, she dumped my ass. Now Hofstra and I are fuckin' rollin into the tourney this year. You think we got no shot? AHAHAH. We got the Jamie factor on our side. She dumps me, we win. You're welcome Hofstra. I havent used my dick in like 2 years, but whatever, it might be worth it.

Onto the Jets. The fuckin Filet Mignon of my sports menu. I fuckin love this team as you already know. How does Jamie come into play? Hmm, lets see. Well, the first time I took her to a game was the preseason. We fought at the game, she cried, the game was fuckin miserable. Next and LAST time, we went to a Jets/Ravens game. It was a good game...FOR RAVENS FANS. I have these southern fuckin queers hooting and hollering at her, and im just wanting to watch the game. I made some comments towards people, and watever, it ended. The Jets lost the game. Of course. Last year, the last year of our relationship sort of, the Jets started 8-3.. Playoffs for sure right? NOPE. Thanks Jamie. This year, we are not together, and the Jets kicked ass, took names, and then beat the shit outta those people.

So is this sports world looking up for me? I hope so. If not, please fuckin kill me. If another girl is dumb enough to date me, I hope my teams win.

YM

Call Me.....NOSTRADAMUS

Did I call the last game or what? TRICK GET OFF ME. I mention 2 players in a blog, and low and behold, they fuckin ran shit in the Olympics today. Ryan Miller got his shutout, and ZP9er got the game winning goal, and then the empty netter. It's unreal how accurate I am. No idea why I havent been hired yet. Employers this is me, Brian. I can make it rain for you just like I do at efyousports.

Also, Hofstra won last night. CJ22 aka The Takeover was lights out last night, minus his 7 turnovers, he was awesome. Next time you want to make us 11 point underdogs, do some more research. Richmond is calling.
YM

Game On

Today the puck drops at 3pm for the USA and Swiss. It's now win or go home. I wish I was able to say that this was the msot exciting game today, but nope. Canada and Russia face off tonight in the same deal. Win or go home. I've asked this question 100 times, but I will ask it again. Why is Olympic hockey 1000x better then the NHL? I can watch all games in the Olympics, but I have trouble even watching a Devils game in the regular season?

Brodeur didnt start last night, which is awesome. I would rather him rest up for the Devils playoff run. Not to get off track, this blog is about the USA. Ryan Miller is continuing his push to secure all the bitches in the USA. I can see it now, he gets a shutout, and girls start throwing thongs on the ice for him. He wins gold, his dick will not stop working. He might retire from hockey to claim all of his prizes. Dating models, super models, and even like better looking chicks then super models, its going to be never ending. I would hope Parise gets the same treatment, but like, I just dont see it happening. He plays home games in Newark, NJ. If he gets traded to the Kings though, watch out. Dude will contract AIDS in a week or less.

I've noticed that other countries celebrate a lot more when they score then the USA does. Why is that? Are we so cool that we dont even care about winning? Russia scores a goal and its an orgy on the ice. Rafalski scores a goal, and you would think its an exhibition game? I hope today is more joyous as we spank the Swiss. 3-1 last time, 19-0 this time.

GO USA

Boom Goes The Dynamite x2

No joke I think this kid is retarded. This has to be a joke. There is absolutely zero chance this kid wasnt doing this on purpose. Can you imagine being in class with him, and watching him mock an interview like this. Ta, Ta, Ta, Ta, today juniorrrrr. This should be an infomercial for rival schools of Kent State. WTF is Kent State going to say about their Broadcast Journalism major now? They should ban this student from the school, banish the records, and tell the general public it was a publicity stung.

I can now go to bed easier now knowing that I can be shitfaced, attend a womens basketball game, and know more about the game then this turd bucket.

Our Hero

Tonite's Gonna Be A Good Night

Hofstra tips off against Northeastern tonight live on ESPNU at 9. Heading into Richmond a week from Thursday, we already locked up the 7 seed. That sucks ass, considering we have won 7 out of our their last 8, and are a team on a mission now. If we can pull a win tonight in Mathews Arena, and the Monarchs of Old Dominion can win their next game, we might be able to play NU in Richmond next week, IF we win our first game.

Next week is going to be SICK. We are def. rolling into Richmond ready to ef shit up. You can try to put together a better 8 man squad, but you wont be able to. When we win the pickup basketball game, and then defend our Beer Pong belts people will be drinkin that Hofstra Haterade even more. It's not like we head into restaurants and bars down there with our Hofstra gear on, and we make friends. No, we have jerkoffs coming up to us saying "Hofstra....We ate em".. First off, wtf does that mean? This was coming from an Old Dominion fan, so we understand that they are not educated, nor on a reading level above 5th grade. Still though, Hofstra we ate em???
Props to VCU fans though, they were rather nice. Our biggest beef with teams is Drexel though. If you tried to put together a bigger group of queers, you couldnt. Their student section is called the "Dac Pac" which Hofstra renamed the "Wack Pack". They are literally the biggest nerds to ever attend basketball games. Guinness Book of World Records should send a record keeper there, and see if they can break the record for largest gathering of virgins in one place. Do it vs. a good team like Old Dominion so you can include there bitch ass fans as well.
PS. DrexelJay, if you are reading this, you arent included. Your house was cool last year, and thanks for the Pong Tourney.

Until Next Time Bitches,
YM

Called Into Duty

How fuckin ill is this game? I mean, hoenstly, this is the best game I have ever played. I usually only buy sports games, and just fuckin own people in them, but when it comes to Call of Duty, I am addicted. I literally went to the mall the other day to get a pair of sweats to play COD in.Like, my room is now a cave. I dont care if its rain or shine, as long as I am noob tubing little punk bitches in Call of Duty, I am happy. Most of you are saying "Get a job, blah blah blah". Eat shit bitches, hop on the sticks, and then try finding a job. They should have a fuckin disclaimer on this game "If you are currently unemployed, please do not buy this game, as you will not be motivated to even shower anymore." Well I shower everyday. So I am ahead of the curve.

Shoutout to YNG$. JMT, Jumpoff John, Sandro, Scotty C, Josh Casey, Kevin, Matt Simms, Brian, and other people that I cant remember now. When other clans come in contact with us though, they get run the fuck over.

When you woke up today, did you ever think to go on the best blog on the internet and read about a fuckin video game? Well, I for one didnt think I was going to wake up and write about one either. Shit happens when you play for 4 hours straight though.

Young Money

Draft Time

Last year, Anthony Nunziato hooked it up. He brought us to the draft and we had a phenominal time. As the day approached I was nervous to who the Jets were going to draft. We drafted $anchez, and look what happened. AFC CHAMPIONSHIP BITCHES. Im not going to sit here and act like I expected it, but im effin happy as hell.

This year is different. Draft day is approaching with the NFL Combine only a week away. I want Kyle Wilson. You hear that Mikey Tanns? KYLE FUCKIN WILSON. Dude is beast mode out of Boise State, and would be a monster in our Secondary. So before all the Combine hype, you heard it here first. Kyle Wilson.

Next year the Jets are going to be INSANE. Like, the NFL might put them on every Monday night, because all they want is the Jets. Roger Goodell might contact Woody and ask him for permission to rename the NFL the REX. No more National Football League, we are going to start referring to it simply as, REX. 100 percent Rex Ryan gets his dick wet 1000x more then anyone reading this blog. Its sad. He is 450 pounds of solid awesomeness, but just because he curses, and beats up QB's he gets that elusive super model pussy? WTF??? Everyone tells me that I am funny, hot, and awesome. I just cant seem to do what Rex does. I need a public forum so people can see how awesome I am. End Rant

J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets. All day, er'yday next year. We bringing part of Smurf Turf to our Turf. Kyle Wilson in 2010.

He Shoots, HE SCORESSSSSSS

So USA's hockey team is much younger this year, and I guess that means they are much better. Last night Canada stepped in front of us, and took a beatdown just like the rest of em. I mean, Canada did you think you were going to stop Jamie Langenbrunner, and Zach Parise? AHAHAHAHA. Much respect to their goaltender (best ever), but he had nothing on Ryan Miller last night. He was stopping everything thrown in front of him. He allowed 3 goals, but he stopped the other 7,424 that were on net. Game opened up with Brian Rafalski putting in his 3rd goal in a row. He later added a 4th. Game winning goal was scored by Langenbrunner though. Dont act surprised. Dude plays for the Devils. Where champions are made. Phil Kessel scored one of the best empty net goals in the world (It's the Olympics vs. the world. SO yea, IN THE WORLD). Obviously, the assist came off a beautiful pass off the boards by ZP9er, Zach Parise kiddddddddd.

Olympic hockey is muuuuuuuch better then the NHL because most games are called by Doc Emerick. He is soothing to the ears, and all his sayings are catchy and official.

Do work USA.

Don't Call It A Comeback

Seriously, dont. I feel like I have let many people down by stopping the blog. Sorry, I promise all 5 of you fans, I am back.

So many things have happened since I last blogged really. Jersey Shore came and went, the Jets were in the AFC Fuckin Championship, and Hofstra started really shitt, continued to play even shitter, but now have stepped it up.

With regards to the UMV, it was FUCKIN GREAT. I mean everyone should lose their jobs, and decide to do one of those. We balled out, and just had a blast. I tried to keep up with the blogging on the trip, but shit was going down on all angles. Whether it was the girls we were pulling in, or the free tickets we got to most games, it was just awesome. **NOTE** We got 0 girls, but it felt like we got 100's. **

With regards to the Jets. Motherfucking WOW. I mean we knew they were good, but damn they put it on for their city towards the end of the year, and playoffs. Dont give me that bullshit that the Colts packed it in, cause I dont care. As Herm says "You play to win the game. HELLO". We made Curtis Painter look like well, like Curtis Painter. I cant wait till next season. Section 229 Row 12. HOLLA.

Eight of us are heading down to Richmond, VA for the CAA tourney in March. Does Hofstra have a shot? Probably not, but who cares. Richmond is effin fun. Scott and I will be putting our CAAZONE.COM Beer Pong titles on the line, and good basketball and times will be had.

Finally, I hate the Olympics. They make Richard Simmons look straight. On that note, I have to give it up to Team USA Hockey. I dont care about anything else but hockey. Tonight ZP9er and Jamie Langs go up against Canada. USA... ALL DEE WAY

WooooooooW

I saw this, and I had to put it up. I mean, A: This is the best show in the history or television, and B: This is the best blog in the history of the internet.

The Situation has the best quote on the Soundboard, when he compares his stomach to effin Rambos. This is genius. I am probably not going out tonite, or this weekend. When you find something like this, it makes your life feel worthwhile like, "damn Brian, you are fighting the good fight, and winning"