Bitches, man

As you know, I once had a girlfriend. YUPPPPPPPPPP, girls loved me at one point. I mean, who wouldnt? I am a fuckin celebrity blogger. Bitch get off me.

So yea, tooting my own horn rant over, back to the blog.

I once dated a girl named Jamie. We knew eachother for like 5 years and dated on and off, on and off, on and off, off and on for about 4 years. Guess how many world championships my teams won? FUCKIN ZERO. Its like hashem was saying "Brian, while you date her, I will not let you be happy in the sports world. You might not have blue balls in the bedroom, but ahaha, jokes on you in the sports game." He was right. I fuckin lost everything in my sports world.

The bitch dumps me, and the Yanks win a world series, Jets make the AFC Championship game, Team USA won Silver, and Hofstra basketball is the heat. All in a year. WTF is that? Was hashem really serious about punishing me? The second it was over, he lifted my sports ban, and gave me happniess. I want to know though, what does a blogger like me have to do to capitalize in both angles of the game? Bitches, and Championships.

For the record, baseball is for the birds at this point. I aint into that shit anymore. Hockey is like a Mitchell and Ness throwback, people only care every 4 years. The Jets and Hofstra though are my fuckin teams.

Remember 06?? The fuckin Skincident. I would explain the incident, but let's be real. No one fuckin reads this thing. If you read it, its because I linked you to it, and you did me a favor. So yea, Hofstra ran fuckin shit in the CAA's that year, and in the championship game, they crapped out. Before that game, our best player got punched in his junk. It was awful. That bus ride home though I felt like I too had gotten punched in the nuts as well. You know who was there to enjoy the game with me? Yea, you guessed it. Fuckin Jamie. THANKSSSSSSSS. Dont worry though, she dumped my ass. Now Hofstra and I are fuckin' rollin into the tourney this year. You think we got no shot? AHAHAH. We got the Jamie factor on our side. She dumps me, we win. You're welcome Hofstra. I havent used my dick in like 2 years, but whatever, it might be worth it.

Onto the Jets. The fuckin Filet Mignon of my sports menu. I fuckin love this team as you already know. How does Jamie come into play? Hmm, lets see. Well, the first time I took her to a game was the preseason. We fought at the game, she cried, the game was fuckin miserable. Next and LAST time, we went to a Jets/Ravens game. It was a good game...FOR RAVENS FANS. I have these southern fuckin queers hooting and hollering at her, and im just wanting to watch the game. I made some comments towards people, and watever, it ended. The Jets lost the game. Of course. Last year, the last year of our relationship sort of, the Jets started 8-3.. Playoffs for sure right? NOPE. Thanks Jamie. This year, we are not together, and the Jets kicked ass, took names, and then beat the shit outta those people.

So is this sports world looking up for me? I hope so. If not, please fuckin kill me. If another girl is dumb enough to date me, I hope my teams win.

YM