Athlete Marriages (LAWL)

I was reading the post this morning when I uncovered how Steve Phillips, you know that homo from the Mets, has cheated on his wife. I’m thinking big deal, almost all guys in sports wind up cheating on their wives, who cares. Then I went on to read a letter this skank wrote to the wife, and I realized, why do these famous sports personalities always go for psychos?

This filty whore was saying stuff about how the catholic church doesn’t mind adultery because it makes the person happy, and even went as far as to describe birthmarks near his dong. First off, if the catholic church was ok with adultery, why on earth is it one of the 10 commandments of stuff not to do?, Second, way TMI about Steve Phillips. Clearly this broad’s got a great personality, and is definitely intelligent.

So I’m thinking to myself, wow, this girl has to be a 12 on a scale of 1-10, Derek Jeter or Sean Avery status, for him to even consider sleeping with this girl. To potentially throw your marriage and career away for this girl, I’m thinking at least Ashley Dupre (Elliot Spitzer’s hooker), who was at worst a solid 8. Then my friend Eric who I work with showed me these pictures of her:





Wow Steve, I’ve questioned a lot of your moves as a GM (Trading Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano, Trading AJ Burnett, Signing Mo Vaughn, etc.) But really??? This girl is about a 1, a 2 after a night of Big Daddy Kris Jenkins drinking. I’m utterly appalled at that. That girl looks like Danny Devito’s love child with Ricki Lake.


Hope the next career works out for ya, keep those hogs happy.
-Jumpman Joe