I'd eff her all day every day! vol. Jumpoff's Jumpoff

This is my first contribution to the latest "I'd Eff Her" installment which was recently debuted by the trio. The woman who tops my list, is the epitome of DIME! Not even Silverstein himself would be able to land this bombshell. Without further adieu, I present to you:

Jessica Burciaga

Side Note...

I watch college football on ESPN, or ABC...something like that I forget who Disney owns now. Anyways they love to give out shameless plugs for their piece of shit shows and other sporting events. Lately the big thing has been the NASCAR chase for the cup or whatever those rednecks call it. And the dude that is in 1st place in all these screen graphics is Mark Martin....someone HAS to know what I'm talking about...this guy looks like he's about 4,000 years old......obviously he's in frist place, his fuckng father is the guy that invented the wheel. As it turns out the dude is "only" 50.......in the sports world thats like 80. I guess we gotta give him props though.....everyone else his age is driving 35 mph in the left lane on the garden state parkway.

-Easy E

Shut The EF Up Part Deux

What’s up guys? Jumpman Joe back at ya – you may remember me for my UFC 100 blog a few months ago. Well hopefully soon enough I can be a full time blogger and turn the tremendous trio upside down (Especially Brian, because we have mutual love and hatred for each other at the same time). I figured instead of just leaving Eric’s previous blog mentioning Kerry Rhodes shutting the ef up at that, I’d just add my own. I was reading the post, as I do pretty much first thing in the morning when I get into my lush office, and come across an article about coach Ryan still seething. Fair enough, he should be, he ripped himself and his team at the press conference, etc. But I kept reading (as painful as it was) and came across these quotes:

Linebacker Bart Scott called the Dolphins' wildcat formation a "gimmick".
Then there was LB Calvin Pace, who called Dolphins QB Chad Henne "a second-year clown quarterback."
"I can't respect that stuff, all that wildcat," Pace said. "We're in the NFL. Don't come here with that nonsense."

Really guys? Are you f’in serious? How can you talk shit like that? Not only Kerry Rhodes on twitter, now it’s these 2 clowns to the media? Ok, I was a big proponent of the Jets talking crap when they were 3-0, you just lost 2 straight, and that “gimmick” offense, as college as it is, lit you all up for 3 TD’s in the 4th quarter. Scott you were basically invisible all game, Ricky Williams ran all over you. And Pace, I’m not even gonna go there, you’re the a-hole who missed the first 4 games for your performance (or as Brian refers to them “Team”) enhancing drugs, and now you open your mouth. I think Ryan needs to have these guys start talking with their play. As the old quote goes, “Actions speak louder than words”. So guys, could you please SHUT THE EF UP. Play ball baby. I am going to be there Sunday like usual. I always bring my A game, you gots ta bring yours.

Thanks

-Jumpman Joe

Shut the EF up...

"u must have lost ur mind i dont blow coverages big dawg"-Kerry Rhodes on twitter

Thats funny Kerry because it sure as shit looks like you blew one here...this must have been the pass that Ronnie Brown didnt complete for 21 yards then right? Or how about you sprinting after Teddy Ginn on his touchdown? Keep fucking twittering though it's working really well...should get you a trip to the pro bowl.

Kerry Rhodes. "Hollywood". Whatever the fuck you call yourself these days...you should change your name to "overpaid, run my mouth but cant make a play for my life". The only thing hollywood about this dude lately is the fact that he's been entertainment for opposing offenses. Honestly man...get the FUCK off of twitter...I'm so tired of these professional athletes all over this goddamn thing.....I understand you're talkin to hot girls with fat asses big fucking deal.....you're a multi-million dollar professional athlete you can bang any girl you want.

All you do is talk mad shit about opposing teams and players yet I can't remember the last time I saw you make a play. I did see you get your ass burned chasing Ted Ginn last night, and I did see you bite on play actions and get beat in the middle of the field, and I sure as SHIT saw you let Anthony Fasano catch a 3rd down pass on the final drive while you waived your arm in vain trying to swat it down. Maybe if you practiced your hand work for football and quit fucking tweeting and texting so god damn much you wouldnt actually suck.

Now.......having said that....you Mr. Rhodes are a very talented player, set your fucking priorites straight get your shit together and make something happen on Sunday.

Prove Me Wrong

Last night was fucking ugly. One of the worst losses I can remember. We gave the defense the lead 3 different fuckin times in the 4th quarter, and each time, they folded like a 2/7 off suit.

-Thomas Jones is fuckin awful. No joke, I would rather have Christoper Reeves post paralysis, pre death behind Sanchez.

- Leon is a good back, Rex always says I want to get hime 20 carries a game. Newsflash he hasnt had 20 yet. You're the damn coach, you can make that happen. DO IT

- Kerry Rhodes was so awful last night, I thought the Jets re-acquired Reggie Tongue.

- I man love you Kris Jenkins. Sorry for the failures on the field, but I appreciate you trying.

-Bart/Kerry stop fuckin talking smack if you aint going to back it up. Like BDK (Big Daddy Kris) said "We got served a nice cup of shut up"

Must Win Sunday.

Brothers From Another Mother?

To celebrate Michael Strahan's new sitcom "Brothers" two episode survival goal, I have decided to post two individuals who can possibly be potential brothers from different mothers!

Brother 1: Stephen Curry (Golden State Warriors)

Brother 2: OJ Da Juiceman (Atlanta based rapper)


Both, whom grew up in very different environments, must share one thing in common because the resemblance is uncanny! Dell Curry must have gotten around during his Charlotte days. Because he obviously abandoned his illegitimate son, OJ, who coincidentally (according to his Wiki) grew up with a single mother in Eastern Atlanta. So yeah Dell, you got some explaining to do!

-Jumpoff

DHB: Fastest Man In The NFL! (Draft)

The Oakland Raiders had to wait until Week 5 of the NFL season to see some signs of promise from their 2009 first round pick Darrius Heyward-Bey. No, he didn't burn past an elite defensive back, catch three touchdowns in a game, or pull off a King Colston like catch.

Instead, DHB showed to us why good ol Al' pulled the trigger on drafting this kid. Peep the former Terp wideout get his Usain Bolt on, while his team was getting smacked up by the undefeated (5-0) New York G-Mennnnnn. Someone next time should let young'n know to make an actual play on the ball instead of treating it like a 100m dash.



-Jumpoff