Hard Knocks SONNNNNNNN

Just watched the press conference on SNY. The Jets will be appearing on HBO's series Hard Knocks next season. No, the press conference didnt break the news to me, I have just been madd lazy. So yea, this is going to be awesome. We are going to see Bart Scott fucking mentally rape people this summer. Over/Under on how many people he makes cry is 4, I got the over. That's 1 opponent per preseason game. How many F Bombs will Rex Ryan drop per episode? I have the over/under set at 12. Should be an interesting bet every episode. I think episode 1 I got the over.

It all makes sense now though. Rex Ryan is trying to leave his wife, and fuck models this summer. Why else would he get lap band surgery? The dude is going to look like Brad Fucking Pitt this summer. HBO will ask Rex to appear on Real Sex after Hard Knocks. Maybe even send him to the Cathouse to beat the shit outta that bitch Dennis, and take the place over. We traded Hollywood Kerry Rhodes due to Hard Knocks. If you tell me otherwise, your a homo. Rex couldnt have a player steal his thunder. Rex wants to be the one banging all summer. With Kerry on the team, he might have been in competition with Rex. I can now see Rex ending practice early cause he has Lisa Ann, or Eva Angelina in his dorm room. Joslyn James will now be blowing the whistle at practices. It's going to be insane this summer.

We get to hear Steve Sabol all summer long. Oh what's that rookie? You dont like carrying the gatorade cooler out to practice? STFU. Do as Bart says.

My prediction for the Jets this season? 24-0. 4-0 preseason. 16-0 Regular season. 3-0 Playoffs, and the Jets will be the AFC pro bowl roster, and fucking win.

Happy Birthdays

So Jumpoff John celebrated his birthday without a gift. I am not surprised since the dude is a haterrrrrrrrrr. I celebrated my birthday on Tuesday, and got the best gift of all. TOM PECORA LEFT. The former "coach" at Hofstra left to go to Fordham.

Last year in the A-10, Fordham lost a few heartbreakers, and were in the mix for the regular season crown up until about ummmmmmmmmm, game 1. They finished 0-16 in conference. They did have 2 wins overall though. I guess Pecorat knows he is an awful coach, and his time was up at Hofstra. People were getting antsy with our 0 NCAA appearances in his tenure at Hofstra. I legit thought he was trying to set a record for being the best mediocre coach in the world. I will have to contact Guinness Book of Records to see if he accomplished his feat. 10 years and we got shit from him. 0 fucking dancing lessons. He left a good team here though, so I guess his local recruiting pipeline is still working.

Next year, regardless of our coach, we will be a much better team. We will have offensive gameplans, and might even run an inbounds play or 2. Hofstra ran the same inbounds plays as my JCC team did back in 1995. I wonder if he numbered the plays as well? Did they start when the inbounder slapped the ball? Oh Pecorat so happy to see you go. Please take your assistants with you, as they have 0 chance at Hofstra.

Tom, if you get lost, you can find us next march fuckin dancing.

MADNESS!!!

The Final 65 have been announced. Not too many surprises here in terms of snubs. Peep that Midwest bracket of death.

Midwest

Oklahoma City, Thursday and Saturday: Kansas/Lehigh; UNLV/Northern Iowa

Spokane, Friday and Sunday: Michigan State/New Mexico State; Maryland/Houston

Milwaukee, Friday and Sunday: Ohio State/UC Santa Barbara; Oklahoma State/Georgia Tech

Providence, Thursday and Saturday: Georgetown/Ohio; Tennessee/San Diego State

West

Buffalo, Friday and Sunday: Syracuse/Vermont; Gonzaga/Florida State

San Jose, Thursday and Saturday: Butler/UTEP; Vanderbilt/Murray State

Oklahoma City, Thursday and Saturday: Kansas State/North Texas; BYU/Florida

Milwaukee, Friday and Sunday: Pittsburgh/Oakland; Xavier/Minnesota

East

New Orleans, Thursday and Saturday: Kentucky/East Tennessee; Texas/Wake Forest

Jacksonville, Friday and Sunday: Temple/Cornell; Wisconsin/Wofford

Buffalo, Friday and Sunday: West Virginia/Morgan State; Clemson/Missouri

San Jose, Thursday and Saturday: New Mexico/Montana; Marquette/Washington

South

Jacksonville, Friday and Sunday: Duke/Play-in; California/Louisville

Spokane, Friday and Sunday: Texas A&M/Utah State; Purdue/Siena

Providence, Thursday and Saturday: Villanova/Robert Morris; Richmond/St. Mary's

New Orleans, Thursday and Saturday: Baylor/Sam Houston State; Notre Dame/Old Dominion

Put On Your Dancinnnnnn Shoes

Can you feeeel that? In less than two hours, the Big Ten tournament will be completed and the Selection Show will underway. Can you feeeel that? The field of 65 will be finalized and the Trio will waste no time in getting to work. This is what we do baby. We're taking the Danny Boy's pool by the sack this year and we're not settling for anything less than winning that money pool. With all the ego's, hating, and douchebaggery put to a minimum this year, the crews main focus is to work together and bringing home that paper. We're not like most Hofstra "fans" on the CAAZONE. We don't settle with being the first losers. (We came in second place last year) We're taking this bitch by the reins and riding on home with deep pockets full of stacks baby. Let's get it boys!!!

No March Madness is complete without a little "friendly" competition. So please join us this year and try to dethrone last years champ (yours truly) in the ESPN NCAA Tournament Pick Em. Log onto ESPN.com and search for the group name: "The Haters Ball". It's public, so no password is required.

Until then, peace out haters.

-Jumpoff J

Let's Get This!

I hope my dude John Wall is using this picture of Scotty Hopson as inspiration. The SEC Semi's going down right now. The Wildcats have their hands full this afternoon when they play Bruce Pearl's Tennessee squad. With the series tied at a game a piece, UK can pretty solidify a one seed if they are able to hold off the Vols, as well as the bragging rights to do this heated rivalry. Their last meeting, the Vols knocked off the Wildcats and prevented them from claiming the number one school in the nation.


Gotta fucking love March Madness.

-Jumpoff

It's Back

I am now collecting money and entries for the Danny Boys pool. March Madness is here baby.. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Last year we had about 25 entries, and ya'll know how that ended. 1 point away. 1 fuckin point. This year, The Tremedous Trio will be formulating the brackets. Hmm, that doesnt sound good. Uhh, dont tell the rest of the people in the pool that a threesome who created a blog about losing is taking their money and formulating the brackets. You know what though? No one knows more about college basketball then Jumpoff John and I do. I am the Stan Fischler of this shit. A Maven.

This year we have way more entries for our group, and I hope we can take it down. 416,000$ was last years pot, this year, I am guessing it will touch 600,000, maybe more.

John celebrates his birthday on the 20th of March, and mine on the 23rd. We will be gettin shit faced and watching college basketball all throughout March. Is this the best time of the year? YES. If you answered no, you are either a chick, or you dont like chicks. I am sure I will be updating you guys on how we do. If for some reason you dont see us blogging after the tourney, that is because I am on St. Tropez banging hot models.

UConn?? More Like UCant.

Hasheem Thabeet demoted to the D League.. AHAHAHAHAHA. I feel bad for Memphis that they wasted their pick on this little bitch. I could have been their scout in the draft. I would have told them Adrian Uter would have been a wayyyyyy better pick. That dude controlled the boards in the CAA. He is playing in Israel now, ya'll should holla at him.

Hasheem Thabeet is in the D League.. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Will it get old? I dont know if it could. He Hasheem say whats up to Joe Schmo, and Joe Dirt. Enjoy bus rides to Lake Walanpampak, and North Dakota. Oh you want steak? You dont get steak in the D League. You're lucky if they treat you better then fuckin OJ Simpson. You're a D Leaguer.

Just another UConn stud.

On The Eve

Richmond is upon us. Tomorrow night, YNG$ hop into the Mercedes of Hondas, and a Pontiac and roll to Richmond. Hofstra is hot, and there is no better time to head down to VA. This has become an annual trip, and its always the best time of year. March Madness is like no month on earth.

Our first game is a rematch of last weekends tilt. Hofstra vs. Georgia St. I am never confident in Richmond, but I think we pull out a win in this game. If thats the case, we face Northeastern in the second round, who drew a bye. Hofstra got lucky in the sense of not drawing a VA based team in the first 2 rounds. The Richmond Coliseum will be farely empty for these games, which is awesome. The worst part of Richmond is the fans. Most HATE Hofstra, and I would hate us too if we were from Va. We are loud, cocky, and confident. Thats how we do up here. Ya'll know that.

This year, the CAAZone beer pong tourney got cancelled. It sucks, but whatever. Everyone knows that Scott and I woulda won that again. Added to the mix for this years tourney is CAAZone basketball game. I mean, this is just insane. Is there any doubt that we are going to win the entire thing? We are from fuckin NY/NJ, i'm sure a bunch of people from VA are going to beat us. I would put up our 5 man squad over any fans squad in the CAA, and even Delaware and Towson's actual team.

We going to have the MD's on ice, and be ballin' out ALL weekend. Hopefully we get a few wins down there, if not, whatever. All is fun in VA.

Oy Govalt

As if the New Jersey Nets werent pathetic enough. Just wait, you havent heard their next promotion. When I woke up this morning, I checked my yahoo, and saw that the Nets were offering another insane promotion. You get your 10 game ticket plan, you get a reversible Nets/Lebron/DH12, or other superstar jersey. If you are unemployed, bring your resume, and get a free ticket and career advice. Think about that, getting career advice from a fuckin team that has 6 wins. What can they tell people to help them get jobs? If at first you dont succeed pick yourself up and try again?? Yea, maybe they are right, they havent had success in quite a long time. I will pass on the advice though. Save it for your scouts and general manager. They can use it more then we can, since they will soon be unemployed as well. This latest promotion beats all of that though. Ready for it?
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If you are 18 or older, come to a the game vs. Orlando and receive a free tax consultation from Roni Deutch. The Nets are so desperate that they are now bringing in tax into the mix. What is going on in these promotion meetings? I can only imagine. They have stretched so far out of the realm of basketball that they thought of this promotion.

I have an idea for their next promotion. If you attend a single Nets game through the rest of the year, the Nets will finally go away, and never bother you with any of these stupid promotions again.

Also, here is a solution. Focus on winning. You are in prime shape to get Jumpoff John's boyfriend, John Wall. Stop coming up with these retarded fuckin promotions and just focus on your basketball personel.

RIP Phone

So today was an awful day. I got a job interview which will cut into my Call of Duty time, and broke my phone, which A. Leaves me without a phone, and B. Hinders my abilty to text people who I play Call of Duty with telling them to hop on.

Also, I have come to the realization that when you dont have a phone, you get this crazy feeling that all the people in the world are trying to get at you at the exact time your phone goes down. Do you know how many girls tried calling my phone telling me they wanted to have sex with me? Probably -80, but in my head, I am thinkin my entire hot girl phone list. That drives me nuts. I am going to receive voice mails from all these hot bitches saying "Hey Brian, just wanted to let you know I was in the area and wanted to bang. If you get this in the next 5 hours gimme a ring. If not this opportunity will never arise again." Yup, thats just my luck. My inbox will be filled with 14 of those messages. GREAT.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Hopefully tomorrow I get a new phone, and return to the monotonous life of not getting calls by hot girls. At least I can get at people to tell em to play CoD though. WIN

Back By Popular Demand!!!

A week ago, Brian gives me a heads up that he's going to bring the blog back from it's temporary hiatus now that March Madness is officially underway. I mean, what is March Madness without the Trio's touch in this year's big dance? Exactly!

As the reigning champ in last year's big dance bracket, it's only right that Jumpoff J gives an abridged preview of his own Bracketology.

1. John Fucking Wall: Brian and I go back and forth in regards to who's the most ballin' freshman since Kevin Durant. He sides with the standout freshman Xavier Henry from Kansas (no surprise he chooses the player on the former number 1 ranked team in the nation). But check it, John Wall is the real deal Holyfield. It's only fitting that this years NBA Draft is already called the "John Wall Sweepstakes". This boy has lived up to the hype this season, and has made the year a memorable one. Expect him to run shit in the tournament.

2. Jumpoff J's Final Four: Pretty cocky for a dude to make Final Four predictions before the field of 65 hasn't even been announced. But then again, not everybody is me! My current final four predictions is Kentucky, Syracuse, Kansas, and New Mexico. NEW MEXICO??? That's right kids, New Mexico is going to be sleeper of the year! Read on.

3. Weak Mid-Majors Appearances: Last year, there wasn't much noise made by the mid-majors and I don't expect any change this year. But I still believe the "not-so" mid-majors will be doing work this year. The Mountain West should probably have four teams entering the dance: New Mexico, BYU, UNLV, and SDSU. Earlier in the year, Joe Lanardi had around six teams from the Atlantic 10 for crying out loud dancing this year. But expect the boys in the mountains to do some serious work.

4. Darington Hobson: The high flyin', swag surfing, emotional leader for the Lobos is going to make a serious name for himself this year in the tournament. If you peeped the game this past weekend against BYU, you'll know that this kid means business. Watch out.

That's all I got time for now, going to put some caps on fools in Call of Duty.

Peace out haters.

-Jumpoff