The Tremendous Trios Sports Nightmares

Back by popular fucking demand...

2010-11-12T08:30:00.004-05:00

I thought my career as a blogger might have come to an end and then my boy Steve-O jumps in talkin about how he's all depressed and shit that he hasn't seen Easy E's picks in a few weeks. You know I can't like Steve-O down so these are for you my man:

Texans +1.5 @ Jacksonville: So really both of these teams suck...the Jags we all knew would suck, and the Texans are on their way to yet another average 8-8 or 9-7 season. The Jags actually play alright at home in front of the 7 or 8 hundred that show up each game, but Houston was embarrassed last time they stepped on the field. The Texans literally have no defense at all, but they can score...I'm going with the better of the two shitty teams getting a point and a half.

The pick: Texans +1.5

Titans -2 @ Dolphins: This game SCREAMS Titans...Randy Moss' first game in Tennessee, CJ2k goin fucking buck wild and CHAD FREAKIN PENNINGTON starting for Miami...that's right CHAD PENNINGTON. The Dolphins have yet to win a game at home (0-3) and the Titans should be set to fucking roll them. One thing I've learned in years of watching the NFL...when there is a sure thing you bet against it.

The pick: Dolphins +2

Jets -3 @ Browns: Fuck the Browns...honestly they do play solid defense I'll give them that, but fucking Colt McCoy? I don't think so mother fuckers and part of the trio is making the trip out to C-town to watch the beat down. Jets get right this week.

The pick: Jets -3

AND FOR THE KISS OF DEATH:

Eagles -3 @ Skins: So my boy Steve-O is a huge Birds fan (nobody's perfect) and he says that I always hate on the E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles in my picks. Vick is doin his thang right now in the city of brotherly love and it's a rematch vs. their old QB Donovan (unless he gets benched again). One thing I'll give Philly is that they are hands down the most explosive team in the NFL. Hate to go against teams coming off the bye but I'ma do it for the 2nd time this week.

The pick: Birds -3

Now sit back, relax and enjoy the games.

"You can't be me, I'm a Rockstar!"

2010-11-08T19:41:00.002-05:00

Before Desean Jackson, Young Money Brandon Jennings, and John "Teach me how to Dougie" Wall, there was a six footer out of Georgetown who burst onto the NBA scene in 96 who transcended the game of basketball forever! Well over a decade later, and basically fucking banished from the NBA, the Answer Allen Iverson is still treated like a fucking king no matter where he's at. The true pioneer of #SWAG!

Recently, Iverson signed a two-year, four million dollar deal with the Turkish squad Beşiktaş. You know me, I'm the biggest hater of international athletes/leagues and find them to be inferior to it's U.S. counterparts. The great Kenny fucking Powers said it best, "I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good." Preach Kenny, fucking preach!

-Jumpoff

Have no fear NFL picks are here...

2010-10-23T22:36:00.002-04:00

So I've been in a coma the last few days and when I woke up the college games had already kicked off. Thank god for Sunday's games though. It will be tough to make up for the disaster of last week but lets give it a shot:

Steelers -3 @ Dolphins: This is a real test for both teams...Big Ben basically came back on a bye last week vs. Cleveland, and Miami won a tough game in OT in Green Bay. The Fish always fucking handle their business in close games and I expect this to be close. To be honest I think the Steelers are going to win by -3 (but I'm too cheap to buy the hook) so I'll take a push.

The Pick: Steelers

Falcons -3.5 vs. Bengals: I know the Bungles are coming off a bye and Dunta Robinson is probably dead so he can't cover the TOcho show but still the Falcons got jumped in Philly last week and they're going to handle their business at home vs. Cincy.

The pick: Falcons

Ravens -700 vs. Bills: I know what you're thinking...you're gonna lay 700 bucks to win 100...of course I am! What kind of a degenerate would I be if I didn't. No fucking way Baltimore loses this game. P.S.- I have the Ravens in a suicide pool also this week...if they lose I'll be on suicide watch.

The pick: Ravens

49ers -3 @ Panthers: Both of these teams suck...and if Carolina was ever gonna win a game, you figure it would be at home off the bye vs. a team like San Fran, but for some reason I think the Niners will pull this game out and hopefully cover for all my faithful fans.

The pick: Niners

There you have it folks...play these 4 games and you'll be laughing all the way to the bank. Sit back, relax and enjoy the motherfucking show.

Bye Week

2010-10-23T16:13:00.002-04:00

Just like our beloved Jets, Easy E has his bye week as well. I guess all you degenerates who bet with Easy E every week can thank your lucky stars he is off this week. I am sure he would have went an awesome 8-0 this week, but so be it. Wait till next week.

Just Your Typical Yanks Fan

2010-10-22T12:41:00.001-04:00

James? Is that you? Kidding James. I know you would never wear that red jacket.

This is why Yankee fans are so corny though. You have this Elton John wannabe making Yankee videos for Game 6. Maybe the kid is retarded or something, but wow. His parents must be so pissed at him. Just imagine he made himself a Mets fan. He would have never had to endure the embarassment of these stupid ass videos. This dude has 0friends, thats for damn sure. I kinda hope the Yanks win tonight so I can see his game 7 video. Maybe he will drop a little Ke$ha on us.

Money In The Bank

2010-10-19T16:27:00.004-04:00

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that AJ Burnet is going to fuckin dominate tonight. A lot of websites that are more popular than ours have "Locks of the Day" or "Mortal Locks" well fuck them. This is a John Anthony Guarantee. AJ Burnet fuckin rapes bitches tonight. If any betting website wants to advertise on our site, just holler baby. We wants to gets paid.

Sportsbook, talk to me. Ive bet with you many times before.
Yanks -156 all night.

Baseball is still gay, and the Titans/Jags game had better ratings than the Yanks game. LOLOL. Shit was a 27 point blowout. I guess we can now really say that baseball is done son.

You're Welcome.
Brian

PS. Spare me all the fake Yankee fans who know shit about baseball saying AJ Burnet sucks. Dude was str8 fire last year. With that fag Posada on the bench, AJ will be DEALING tonight.

Cheap Shot Artist

2010-10-19T16:16:00.002-04:00

Brandon Meriweather is the Picasso of a Cheap Shot Artist. Dude must have learned from Rodney Harrison. You might remember Harrison from such incidents as HGH Gate. He was suspended for CHEATING. Weird that cheating got him suspended and not the attempted murder. The NFL is cracking down on illegal hits though. Ask Todd Heap, Josh Cribbs, and Mohamed blah blah blah. I am sure all 3 answers will be the same "I dont remember". They dont remember cause the wood was fuckin layed on them this weekend. I will not say the Dunta Robinson hit was illegal, as I think he led with his shoulder.

I mean, peep the video. Brandon Meriweather seems like an upstanding citizen on the field. If the first video doesnt do it for you, then maybe the second will. Its him stomping on Florida International players back in his college days.

You see Meriweather stomping on some poor players down on the field already? Im sure many wish he was just aborted before birth. Why wont u just die already Brandon? Shouldnt you be in jail or something?

Playing for Pride...

2010-10-19T11:40:00.002-04:00

This week is the showdown of all showdowns. 2/3rds of the trio will be meeting up in Fantasy football. Yours truly Easy E and his 0-6 fantasy football team will be taking on 3rd place Brian and his 4-2 team.

I've already spoken to the guys this week and let them know that even though we're out of it, we're playing for pride. Playing for one another. Anything can happen in a rivalry game. We're gonna take it to Brian and his boys this week.

Prediction: Eric's team: 80
Brian's team: 72

Desean you got JACKsonED up...

2010-10-19T11:27:00.001-04:00

The Only thing that beats that is this:

"That is a serious knee injury for Willis McGahee"..."Yep".

Cliff BEAST-LEE

2010-10-19T08:56:00.004-04:00

I know what you're thinking...wow that's a catchy fucking title to this blog. And you're right...I came up with it last night while I was brushing before bed. Anyway Cliff Lee absolutely fucking dominated the world last night...dude threw like 22 innings and gave up 2 hits. Texas broke the game open in the 9th and are up 2-1 in the ALCS.

The point of this blog however isn't to say how great baseball is. It's to point out exactly why baseball sucks. I was flipping back between the baseball game and the football game last night, and when the first Texas batter got up in the top of the 9th there was about 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter of the football game. When the last yankee batter got out in the bottom of the 9th the football game had about 45 seconds left. The football game played almost 20 minutes of game time in ONE INNING! Almost 1/3 of the football game was played in ONE FUCKING INNING! Are you kidding me? Baseball is the longest most fucking boring shit on TV right now and I'm not just talking sports...baseball is more boring than a fucking lifetime movie.

Apparently Payback AND Karma are both bitches...

2010-10-19T08:52:00.003-04:00

So for the 8 of you that read my payback is a motherfucker blog just a few days ago I've recently learned Karma is a bitch too. I sent bad vibes out to John Elway and what happened? He fucked me in my fantasy game last night. My team was 0-5 heading into the MNF matchup between the Titans and Jags. I was down 21 points, but I had Vince Young. VY goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S on the first drive throwing for 60 yards and a TD like 2 minutes into the game. I've got this shit on lock right? WRONG...karma bites me in the ass as VY goes down for the count and misses the rest of the game. Easy E falls to 0-6 in Fantasy football.

Well that effin hurt

2010-10-19T08:46:00.003-04:00

So it seems I never learn my lesson. I really do suck at picking college football...the NFL I'm actually not so bad. Here are week 6 results:

In college:

Utah handled their business and covered vs. Wyoming.

Fucking Florida lost outright at home! vs. Mississippi State! are you effin kidding me?

Alabama won, but didn't cover...the state of Mississippi really fucked me like a 2 bit whore this saturday.

Nevada game I think just went final out in Hawaii and they lost outright too.

As far as the NFL goes:

The Ravens heard that I bet them on the money line and decided to hand the Pats a fucking win. I mean seriously how the hell did the Ravens blow that game? No really, I'm asking anyone who might know because CBS had bull riding on instead of that game so I'm not even sure. Thanks Jim Nantz!

The Falcons fell behind early and get mashed in Philly, at least Dunta Robinson laid the effin wood on Desean jackson to make me feel a little better about losing.

Steelers covered vs. those Cleveland bitches easily.

And semi upset pick of the week Saint Louis won outright at home. If you're dumb enough to bet the Chargers on the road you deserve to lose money.

This week: 3-5

NFL: 9-6

CFB: 3-7

Overall: 12-13

ROI: -$420 (In the red for the first time all season)

229'in It.

2010-10-19T00:59:00.002-04:00

Sunday came and Sunday went. Jets played and Jets won. Football has been fuckin awesome this year. My team is 5-1, my fantasy team is 5-1, and (no homo) my boys and I just fuckin rock out every week. This past weekend I had the 229 crew at the crib minus Joe who was in DC.

Ladainian Tomlinson is THAT DUDE. You cant say MVP without thinking LT. This is definately a special football season. I can just feel it. If you readers were smart you would make it even more special by betting against Easy E's pics every week. I am expecting a call from a huge Vegas bookie one day telling us we better not post pics on the blog anymore because its affecting the way people bet in vegas. If you idiots are smart you would be up big money already. I bet against whatever Eric says every week. If he says its sunny, bring an umbrella. Trust me.

But yea, 1st place in the NFL feels fuckin awesome. Being a Jets fan for this long has had me getting use to sucking fat dick. We will suck dick no more. We are the creme of the crop boy. Holler.

PS. Anyone see Braylon getting doing his civil duty and watering the grass in the Denver endzone?? Dude pulled out the sprinkler after raping Chump Bailey.
Peep the 25 second mark. It's watering time.

We Fly High, No Lie

2010-10-15T18:58:00.001-04:00

BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN

Picture explains it all. Hop off

Hofstra WATTTTTTTTTTTTT

2010-10-15T17:00:00.002-04:00

So I just got back from lunch and I had this package waiting for me at my door. Turns out the head coach of the Hofstra Baskeball team sent me a Hofstra hoops shirt along with a little note;

Thanks For The T + The Support! CALL ANYTIME

Mo Cassara

I got to be honest. I have no fucking clue what this guy is talking about. I guess he bought a tshirt from us or something? Welcome to the club buddy. Anyway even though I have no idea why he sent me this I’m totally on board with the Flying Dutchman now. They are my team! In fact I promise you this Mo Cassara. If you make the dance this year the Stool will fly out and party at whatever region you play in and root you the fuck on. That’s a fucking promise from one leader of men to another. Oh and don’t think I’m not going to give you a buzz before that UNC game in the Puerto Rico Tip Off. Shit is on ESPN 2. I need some winners.

PS – After doing some quick research turns out Mo used to be an assistant at BC. Once again this proves what I say about the superfans. The athletes and coaches their actually like us because they agree with everything we say about their student body.

Double PS – I told the Sales Guy what happened and his first question was “Do a lot of Jews go there?” Fucking sales guy.

So I just peep my second favorite website, barstoolsports.com. While perusing the Boston part of it, I came across the above article. Hofstra made it son. STAND UP. Hofsta Basketball 2010-2011 ALL FUCKIN DAY.

We got El Pres and the rest of the stoolies on board now. Lets get some.

ALCS Preview

2010-10-15T15:00:00.001-04:00

As anyone didnt see this happening. The only surprise here is that I was actually wrong. I didnt know the Twins were actually the Royals just dressed in Twins uniforms for the ALDS. That shit was pathetic right? Well, for the ALCS its no different. The Yankees will win in 5 games. As they fall behind tonight 1-0, they will sweep the rest of the series. Baseball is for the birds. I dont give a shit who wins, but it will be Yanks in 5. All the fake yankee fans who have no idea the pitching rotation will be happy. "Yo.. Bro, whose pitching tonight bro? Umm, CC Sabathia. Heard of him?

Taking It Back

2010-10-14T15:13:00.005-04:00

Last Sunday, I went to my fav. place to watch football games on television. North Brunswick Pub and Grill on Route 1. Let me say that I would NEVER watch a Jets game there. I only watch those games live in person, or at a friends house that passes the Jets test. Real fans know what that means. Onto to the point of the blog though.

A few months ago, I wrote a blog about one Jamie J (Jeans pictured above). In that blog, I mentioned that she was a curse to all of my sports teams yadda, yadda, yadda. At that time, we were not really talking all that much, so it was easy for me to blame something on her such as this. Truth is, we dated for a few weeks way back when and all my teams slumped when I was with her. I told her it was her fault, but looking back, it really wasnt. My teams just fucking sucked dick.

Hofstra Basketball had its best years when we were together. So I cant really blame her for that one.

New York Yankees, nough said. I apologize to all men across the country for liking baseball. WTF was with me back then? Baseball is a sport for women. I should be kissing Jamie's feet for gettin me out of baseball. (She didnt really get me out of baseball, but I saw what a herb I was back then)

New York Jets. Wow I love the Jets. They had some years with a few wins here and there but for the most part they never pieced it together. Last year, they hired Rex Ryan as hashem errr I mean coach. Since then, they have made it to the AFC Championship every single year. Is that good? NBD. **I took Jamie to her first Jets game ever. They lost. Victor Hobson returned a fumble to the 1 fuckin yard line and they couldnt score. Thats where some of that hate comes from in regards to my fave. teams**

Recently, Jamie has lifted her hate ban on me and we have talked a few times. At first, I was very hesitant moving foward with this, but she insisted. Now, the Jets are in first fuckin place, and just ballin' all year long.

I write this blog because at The Pub last week, Jamie mentioned the past blog. So I guess i owed her an apology. Here ya go Jamie. Baby steps

Payback is a bitch motherfucker...

2010-10-14T14:55:00.003-04:00

Hall of Fame quarterback John Elway and a business partner invested $15 million with a hedge-fund manager who was recently arrested for running a Ponzi scheme.

The Denver Post reported that the two invested $15 million with Sean Mueller in March with the understanding that the money would be placed in a trust until a final decision was made about where it would be invested.

About 65 people had invested $71 million with Mueller over the past decade. Yet in April, Mueller only had $9.5 million, according to a state investigator. He turned himself in to authorities on Wednesday on charges of racketeering, securities fraud and theft, and is being held in prison on $2 million bond.

Elway and his partner have asked that their claim be processed ahead of any other investors' because their $15 million was supposed to be placed in a trust, not pooled with the money of the rest of the hedge fund. According to an April filing, $12 million of Elway's money was placed into a Morgan Stanley trust account, as expected. The other $3 million has gone missing.

Well, well, well...what do we have here? To our readers out there, let this be a lesson...karma always fucking gets you. Even if it's 12 years later and goes by the name of Sean Mueller the hedge-fund manager. You think you could get away with beating our beloved Jets in the AFC Championship game and nothing would happen? Wrong bitch...and now you pay to the tune of 3 million dollars and public embarrassment for being stupid enough to invest with a hedge-fund manager. Were you living under a rock for that whole Bernie Madoff incident? Oh and by the way John, that was our year, congrats on getting lucky with 6 Jets turnovers. I hope you've learned your lesson.

P.S.- Big ups to my boy Sean Mueller for rockin a cool 3 millie from this little Elway bitch. Guaranteed you look in this Mueller guys closet you'll find an old #28 Curtis Martin jersey.

P.P.S.- Wipe that smile off your face you fucking bitch.

Easy E's Picks Week 6

2010-10-14T09:23:00.002-04:00

So it was a struggle last week...1-3 just isn't gonna cut it for the six of you that read our blog. This week I'm firing bullets early and often and I'm going to try and get back on track. I'm 0 for my last 4 picking college after a 2-0 start, so logic says that I should slow down there...but in the name of being a true degenerate, not only will I pick college games this week, but I'm picking the most games so far this season...here we go:

Utah -20.5 @ Wyoming: I know you're thinking, why does this kid pick these redic conference games...blah blah blah...bottom line is Utah is a scoring machine, and Wyoming has literally nothing in the entire state except like six chicks with herpes.

The pick: Utah

Florida -$300 money line vs. Mississippi St: Miss St. is actually not that bad, but Florida is coming off of 2 losses in a row and playing at the swamp, there is no way Urban Myer lets his guys blow a 3rd game in a row especially at home.

The pick: Florida

Alabama -20.5 vs. Mississippi: Yes, as you can see I hate the state of Mississippi. I'm picking against both of their teams, but to be honest I don't get upset because most people in that state can't even add to two to be able to figure that out. Bama is gonna roll effin tide.

The pick: A-LA-BAMA (done in Keith Jackson voice)

Nevada -7 @ Hawaii: The O/U in this game is no joke like 420 points or something...and I'm pretty sure when Hawaii is home the games are played on like Tuesday or something...but I'm sticking with my wolfpack...even though they fucked me once before, they should beat the warriors waaaay out west.

The pick: Nevada

Onto the NFL:

Ravens +120 @ Pats: I was considering taking Baltimore plus the points, but then I realized fuck that...I can win extra money by taking them on the money line. Baltimore is one of the 3 best teams in the league, and New England is not...I realize the Pats are coming off a bye and want pay back and all shit like that, but it's put up or cut your pussy ass hair time for Mrs. Brady. This game shows what both teams are made of.

The pick: Ravens

Falcons +125 @ Eagles: This is basically the same game as the Ravens/Pats just in the NFC. You can argue that the Falcons are the best team in the NFC, so it's hard to not like them to win especially with K. Kolb getting the nod in philly this week.

The pick: Falcons +125

Steelers -13.5 vs. Browns: Wow...what can you say. You HATE laying 2 td's in ANY division game. And the Browns defense actually isn't THAT bad. But...Big Ben is back from raping chicks for 4 games, and the Steelers are coming off a bye. Did I mention they are playing IN pittsburgh AND Colt McCoy is getting the start? Hell...I'd lay 3 td's here.

The pick: Steelers

Rams +8.5 vs. Chargers: Well well well...so far this season we've learned a few things...neither of these teams can play on the road. San Diego has to be one of the biggest road money burner teams in recent memory. St. Louis sucks, don't get me wrong, but picking up more than a TD at home vs. a team that hasn't won on the road since the Clinton administration...I'll take my chances.

The pick: Rams

There you have it folks...8 games this week instead of 4...so be prepared to lose twice the amount of your money! Either way just sit back relax and enjoy the games.

Do I Curse Too Much?

2010-10-14T00:50:00.003-04:00

So after this weeks Monday night beatdown of the Vikings, the question was raised if I curse too much at Jet games??

Am I a degenerate? I dont think so. I mean, I give to all types of charities and shit. So what I curse at Jets games right? We have this family that sits 2 rows in front of us. They bring their kid to games sometimes. He has to be no older than 2. Can he actually hear me? Hell no. This kid cant even wipe his own ass yet. He still shits himself. Do you think if I call Brett Favre a "fuckin bitch ass" he is going to remember it? I highly doubt it. If he does, then I think I would be the worlds best teacher. Molding young minds 2 rows in front of me at the age of 2.

Onto older subjects. If you go to a football game, and you are offended by cursing then suck my dick. My good friend Beef said I curse too much, but she later said that it didnt offend her, and she didnt care. I agree with Beef. I do curse a lot at games, but I kind of dont care. I pay $120 a game to have the time of my life, and when the Jets win, I do. I had a fuckin blast Monday Night. We had steak, chili, and buffalo chicken at the tailgate. We had a D-Lo pick 6 to ice the game, and we had a L. Coles' Stepfather fantasy win. What is better than that? NOTHING. Also, the time we had Monday night was epic. The tailgating crew was into it as ever, and the rain made it that much cooler. We were soaked, but fuckin warriors through and through. We are like the fuckin USPS, no rain, sleet, or snow is stopping our crew.

-Brian

One area of improvement...

2010-10-13T09:38:00.003-04:00

Jeez...I felt like I was back in the Herman Edwards/Dick Curl era on Monday night at the end of the game with the clock management bullshit that Sanchez and Co. tired to pull. Clock management is something that I will never understand in the NFL. I realize that 99% of the players and coaches are border line retarded, I mean these dudes are getting like 8's on their wonderlics...that's equivalent to like a 650 on the SAT or something. But even with these idiots running the show, how hard is it to figure some of this shit out....here is the situation I'm talking about:

1st and 10 from our own 35 with 2:47 left on the clock. Vikes have 0 timeouts left. If we can call a run play that lasts 7 seconds, the play clock will reset with 2:40 left and we do NOT have to snap the ball again before the 2 minute warning.

Now you'd have 2nd down at 2:00....you run the ball 2x's taking off 45 seconds each time.

Now (assuming you don't make a first down) it's 4th down with 30 seconds left.

After the punt, the Vikes have 20 seconds and NO TIMEOUTS left on the clock.

In that situation, IMHO running a play that kills 7 seconds on first down is MORE important than gaining yardage. Even if we had to lose 10 yards to kill the time, it's worth it.

What play does Shotty call on 1st down? A run to LT RIGHT UP THE MIDDLE! The play clock reset at 2:42 so we HAD to run a 2nd down play prior to the 2 minute warning. If you call a pitch/sweep to the outside you can stretch that play for the 7 seconds you need and end the game for all intents and purposes.

So yes, while Sanchez blew the 2nd down, I'm 99% sure that the 1st down strategy of burning 7 seconds off the clock NEVER EVEN CROSSED the coaching staffs minds. That is what scares/annoys me.

Now I can already hear what everyone is saying "But Easy E, we won the game, can't you ever be happy?" Sure I'm happy as fuck that we won, but that "we won so we don't have to fix mistakes attitudes" is what has the Jets on a 41 year losing streak.

Coach Ryan, on the 72 trillion to 1 chance that you read this, please hit up efyousports@gmail.com and I'd be happy to take over late game time management duties.

Easy E weekend picks recap...

2010-10-13T09:17:00.002-04:00

I got smoked harder than a joint at Ricky Williams house this past weekend. Like I told you all, college football is my nemesis. 0-2 on Saturday and a split on sunday.

Here is the quick recap:

Ohio State JUMPED Indiana, and put up some big numbers early, but they took their foot off the gas and their defense played lights out...fell a bit short of the under.

South Carolina beat the effin shit outta Bama early and often...they scored a lot more than I thought and the game broke the over pretty easily.

On Sunday I was totally off with the Texans...G-men DESTROYED them...jumped out to a 21-0 lead and never looked back.

The only game I called last week was the Titans over the Boys in Dallas. Titans were getting 6.5 and they won outright...too bad I didn't have em' on the cash line.

Results for the Year:

Last week: 1-3

NFL: 7-4

CFB: 2-4

Overall: 9-8

ROI: +$10

This weeks picks coming soon.

Hop off our Dicks son...

2010-10-13T00:05:00.003-04:00

Huge win last night in the pouring rain. The trio toughed it out and didn't run for cover like the rest of the "fans" at the game. All of the sudden same old jets is out of our vocab faster than Brett Favre can get his dick on a cell phone camera. Of course we have to deal with the fake fan people now...as you can see the NY Jets are straight trending right now son...2nd most searched for term on Yahoo. Is that good? Don't hate baby...J-E-T-S all day every day.

We Ballin Boyyyy!

2010-10-11T23:51:00.003-04:00

I don't care how bad they got their asses whopped last weekend. This is by far, the most swagtastic, entertaining, and exciting team to ever play Division I football. THE U baby!

-Jumpoff

Go Cocks

2010-10-09T00:46:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow at College Gameday, EFYOUSPORTS.BLOGSPOT.COM will be live and in person. By live, I mean we will have a sign there. Our boy Mikey Fellz and his bro, Dougie Fresh will be live in the flesh at Gameday. Look for the sign, it will be in the crowd. Just wanted to send a special thanks to Mike for reppin the good ol' blog.

Go Gamecocks.

Half and Half

2010-10-08T12:31:00.003-04:00

Just saw that Darrelle Revis is medically cleared by the Jets team doctors to play Monday Night against Lito Sheppard and the Vikings. In this blog I am going to give you my 2 cents. Split in half though.

If Doesnt Play: Revis if you dont play, you are fuckng pansy ass bitch. You fuckin hold out on us for all of training camp, only to come back and get shit on by Randy Moss in Week 2. How about a little conditioning you bitch? Stay in shape while holding out and asking for all of this dinero son. Jets paid you, and you knew it was coming, but yet you couldnt stay in shape? What gives hombre?

If Plays: A Vagiant fan wrote the above paragraph. You are the man. I am so happy you held out in training camp. You rested your body, and you are good to go for longer this year, as we will need you in the playoffs even more this year. I aint mad at ya for missing 2.5 games already as it gave Cromo and KDub a chance to shine. Cant wait to see you out there Monday night babe. I love you.

Also, If you think this is funny in any way, Revis, I made you laugh last year in Tampa when i said Antonio Bryant sucks, and you should give me your gloves. If you wanna holler at me, hit us up on the email. We can chill at the mall or whatever. I can teach you how to dougie, maybe even a little madden action (im filthy in that game). The box is flooded, but I will find yours.

Now I've seen it all...

2010-10-07T22:05:00.002-04:00

Don't get me wrong, I've seen some rare shit in my life. Like the picture of these animals for example. I just posted this blog like 8 seconds ago and they're probably all extinct already. Just when I thought I saw it all I tuned into ESPN tonight. Nebraska vs. K-State...Nebraska is rollin those pansy ass bitches when boom K-State makes a QB change and out comes #7 Klein. Now I'm a Klein so I know that my Jewishness limits my athletic ability. I used to be the top scorer in the JCC league, but as soon as I hit public school I was just another face in the crowd. Anyway K-State has this motherfucker running the option! Can you imagine? A Jew running the option! Now that truly is some rare shit.

Are you effin kidding me?

2010-10-07T13:44:00.003-04:00

Thanks to ESPN for the article

A devout Michigan State football fan called timeout before doctors could install a pacemaker in his chest Thursday, deferring the procedure until after the school's football game this weekend against rival Michigan.

Major Hester said he's willing to risk death so that he can watch Saturday's game in Ann Arbor on television. The Spartans are ranked 17th in the country and the Wolverines are ranked 18th.

The 69-year-old retired office supply clerk said he put off the procedure until next week because he can't risk something going wrong on the operating table that would prevent him from watching the game.

"You never know," Hester told The Detroit News as he paced back and forth in his living room. "It's like going into combat. You may come home alive or you may come home dead."

Hester suffers from cardiomyopathy, a condition where the heart muscle is weakened. He said he's aware of the risk he's taking but is willing to take the chance.

"Whatever happens, I want to see the game," he said.

His friends took Hester's decision in stride.

They say Hester gives himself pep talks to try to "keep it calm" during games, turns down the television volume to keep from getting too excited, and smacks the coffee table, screams at coaches and curses out the referees from his couch. He's even been banished to his bedroom like a scolded child and forced to watch games alone.

"I want to run the ball with them," said Hester. "I want to catch the pass."

At first I was thinking no big deal, just another Michigan State heart attack article. Then I got to reading about our boy over here. First of all you know this dude is the real deal with a name like Major. I'm thinking holy shit this guy and I have so much shit in common it's crazy...we both give ourselves pep talks during games and curse mother fuckers out and shit like that. Obviously I'm a littler cooler than he is, because he's got fucking cardiomyopathy which sounds like some sorta fucked up shit. I'm all ready to give this guy his props for risking his life and shit to watch his team, but then I re-read the article. First sentence, second paragraph. "Willing to risk death so he can watch the game on TV?" Are you effin kidding me? What a fucking pussy ass bitch. Does this dude not know that the trio just fucking braved getting a cold in like 48 degree weather in Buffalo in only 2 sweatshirts and 2 pairs of socks? I had to take like six airborne that my mom packed for me before the game just to keep from catching a cold. This fucking guy is full of excuses...and shit, c'mon dude if you're a Michigan State fan you're in East Lansing...the trip to Ann Arbor is probably like 12 minutes. Here's to hoping you don't die this weekend Major, but don't think you're hot shit or anything either.

Doc-Tober

2010-10-07T13:23:00.003-04:00

So I have been on Roy Halladays dick for madd long. I always say he is the best pitcher EVER. I get rejected most of the time. I hear Pedro, Nolan, etc. I still stand by this statement though. This man is a work-a-holic. He gets his first ever Post Season start last night and goes BEASTMODE on the Reds. Dude threw a 104 pitch no hitter. It's insane what this man can do. He has like 1500 complete games, and now he has 2 no-hitters in 1 season. One was a perfect game. Imagine if this dude was in the NL all his career? He might have had multiple 30 win seasons.

This is just a blog to thank Mr. Halladay for switching leagues. Actually, fuck that. I hate baseball, and dont give a shit where he pitches, and who wins. I am just happy he is doing his thang. Me and Fellz know whats up with this dude.

PS. If CC did this last night, there wouldnt be a blog about it. Roy Halladay is mah dude.

Easy E's Picks Week 5

2010-10-07T09:50:00.002-04:00

So overall I'm still up for the season...here are this weeks picks:

I went 0-2 in college last week ATS, so I'm gonna switch it up and play a little O/U game.

Alabama @ South Carolina: Big ups to Mikey Fellz a close friend of the trio who will be making the trip to Columbia, SC this week to catch the cocks. Dude is probably also gonna try and make the game. That place is gonna be goin effin NUTS....USC east always plays well at home and always has a good crowd, but Bama' is the class of college football and it aint even close. With Bama coming off a very emotional win at home over Florida, I expect them to be a little down in this spot. That's not to say they won't win, but I expect a close low scoring game.

The Pick: UNDER 48

Indiana @ THE Ohio State University: THE osu gave their fans a scare last week in Champagene, but they pulled it out anyway. Terrell Pryor might be banged up, but you know anyone with a haircut like that is gonna man the ef up and play. The spread is 21 and change, and I think we're going to see a high scoring game. I'm looking for the Bucks to bounce back big back at home. Something along the lines of THE osu 45 and Indiana 20.

The Pick: OVER 57.5

Moving along to Sunday:

New York VaGiants @ Texans: Texans went out west last week and handled their business, G-men DOMINATED on defense at home, had like 271 sacks, knocked out Jay Cutler, and still were only up 7 points with 6 minutes left in the game. Houston is the real deal and I think the cream of the AFC is better than the not so much cream of the NFC. Expect All day Andre to be back playing this week, and a big win for Houston.

The Pick: Texans -3

Titans @ Cowboys: Both of these teams are sorta unknowns, the Boys' started 0-2 before getting a nice win vs. Houston but then they had a bye. The Titans handled their business in NY vs. the G-men but then lost at home to Denver. I think Chris Johnson is set for a monster day, and while I expect it to be a close game (maybe even with Dallas winning) I don't expect Dallas to cover.

The Pick: Titans +6.5

Enjoy the games bitches.

Boyce Avenue

2010-10-07T00:06:00.004-04:00

So a few years ago, I came across the ill youtube group. Today, they are still pumping out hits.

Normally, I dont like to take this blog into the realm of music, but I figured I owe it to Alejandro Manzana to post him up on one of the top 15 blogs in the country. They are a sick cover band, but have recently dropped an album of their own joints. I recommend you check them out on youtube. Tell em efyousports sent ya.

Here is a sample:

Super Bowl Path

2010-10-06T15:26:00.002-04:00

I am into booking road trips in advance. So I am asking our readers my best path to get to the Super Bowl. Should I drive? Its in Dallas which is a hella trek. Flights will be rather expensive, and far less fun. There is no trains there, or none that I would take. I guess my only means to get there is driving. Its only 25 hours. No big deal right? We have done NoLa, and Nashville. Plus 25 hours of Super Bowl week aint shit. I only pose this question to ya'll now because we are gettin Santonio Holmes, Calvin Pace, and Revis back this week. Heard of em?

Dallas is going to be sick. Might as well book it now, cause shits on lock. Jets baby.

For Real??

2010-10-05T20:21:00.002-04:00

WTF is this shit.. Randy Moss to Vikings for a 3rd Rounder? Thats genious. I mean, I couldnt be more thrilled about this, unless if it came 1 week later. If this trade happens soon, Randy will come back to the New Jets Stadium and have to be sent to Revis Island this time. Two weeks ago, he got lucky and fuckin posterized Revis in the endzone. This time, he wont be so lucky.

I understand that he is a free agent after this season, and the Pats are fuckin queer and wont re-sign him, but fuckin a man. Randy Moss for a 3rd Rounder? This equates to Brian being sent to the Raiders for a 1683rd Round Pick.

I dont give a shit where he goes though. If he is a Viking come Monday night, he is going to have a 2nd straight week of 0 catches. No one, and I mean no one fucks with this Jets defense. Brett Favre is going to be hit harder than Jenna Jameson after a 500 man gangbang.

Jets all day er'yday.

Also, if this trade comes to fruition, you probably heard it here first. If not, I copied this story from various websites.

Playoffs

2010-10-05T14:49:00.002-04:00

I would normally leave a baseball blog to one of our baseball experts here at efyousports, but no one likes baseball.

Tomorrow night, the Yankees kick off their title defense in what is sure to be a snoozefest of a baseball playoff series. The Twins blow, and the Yankees should steamroll them. Look for ARod to be the playoff hero like he was last year, and the Yanks to win in 4. Without Morneau, the Twins stand no chance of winning. They dont have Kent Hrbek, and Kirby Puckett anymore. They start Carl Pavano, and some other scrubs. CC, Yankee Doodle Andy, and Phil Hughes should take 3 fuckin shits on them, and win in 4. Only loss will come in the Pettitte start when the bullpen blows it.

I will see you bitches for my ALCS blog.

Go Yanks, I guess.

Ridin' Dirty

2010-10-05T11:58:00.002-04:00

Another week, another DWI. This time its Dwayne Jarrett. I hope everyone is up in arms over this. I mean, Braylon Edwards almost had his dick cut off by all the media 2 weeks ago. Braylon missed a quarter of football, returned, scored, dougied, and won. This time around, I would expect Jarrett to be suspended since its his second arrest for DWI. He will be cut as well. Even so though, I bet no one talks about this because he isnt on the New York Jets. Everyone hates the Jets, so you have to HATE them.

Just another blog about the best team in football, and how everyone hates them. Eat a dick Dwayne Jarrett. Enjoy food stamps.

-Brian

I'm moving to Canada

2010-10-05T10:34:00.002-04:00

So as the six of you readers know, 2/3 of the trio was across the border this weekend in Canada and let me fucking tell you...that place is the shit!

We were hungry so we went to some souvenir shop for a hotdog and next thing we knew dude in there was tellin us about proplays or prosport or some shit. Whatever the fuck it's called it should be called "Canada shits on America".

Here is the idea...you can go into any corner store in Canada and BET ON FOOTBALL. That's right..you effin heard me right...just like you play lotto here in the what used to be the good ole' US and A, our norther neighbors allow you to bet the NFL.

So let's do a comparison here:

Canada: Drinking age is 19, some of the best strip clubs in the world, Betting on football at your local CVS, Casinos on every other fucking block, hot french canadian sluts

USA: Homeless people with AIDS.

Canada wins...see you bitches up north.

Easy E's weekend picks recap

2010-10-05T10:13:00.002-04:00

So I know that most of you were shittin your pants after I went 0-2 Saturday, but c'mon you didn't think Easy E would keep you hangin....a bang out 2-0 on Sunday puts me even (less the vig) for the weekend.

Wisconsin vs. Michigan State: I dunno what the fuck happened here, apparently teams are motivated by coaches after heart attacks....MSU plays Michigan this week, so we will find out which one of those teams is for real and which is isn't.

Nevada vs. UNLV: You'll have to excuse Nevada...they are new at not sucking...dudes rushed for like 400 yards and had the ball in goal to go territory late in the game with a chance to run up the score AND cover, and the bitches took a fucking knee. Easy E doesn't forget shit like that.....when you're fucking Nevada you need all the help you can get in the polls.........run up the score you pussies.

Texans vs. Raiders: Fuck the Raiders, they suck...Texans covered without Andre Johnson playing.

Chargers vs. Cards: This game was a fucking joke...Kerry Rhodes scored a TD for Arizona, I'm surprised dude had enough time to tweet while running towards the endzone and still score. What was the final here like 112-8? Effin blowout city like I was hoping for.

Total Season Results:

NFL: 6-3 +$240

CFB: 2-2 -$20

Overall: 8-5 +$220

NFL vs. CFL

2010-10-04T21:46:00.002-04:00

As we departed for Buffalo, we thought we would see 1 CFL game on Saturday, and an NFL game Sunday. Little did we know that the Buffalo Bills were actually a real CFL team, just disguised in NFL jerseys.

On a serious note.. Did that game really happen? Is Ryan Fitzpatrick really an NFL quaterback? AHAHAHA. That shit was fun as hell. Our crew invaded Ralph Wilson and had the time of our lives. We not only saw our first in person weeble wobble, but we saw an epic beatdown.

We pulled up in the Town and Country, and had the best taigate. We were CRUSHING Orange Juice like it was going out of style. Had pancakes that tasted like heaven, and even made ourself some fuckin McDougie's (Sausage wrapped in Pancakes. Named after Braylon Edwards weekly TD Dance. I made my grilled chicken special, and we jus balled out. Once we arrived in the stadium, it was fuckin GO TIME.

I would go into details of the game, but it wasnt much of a game, and it was over before it started. I have a few questions though. How did the Dolphins only score 15 points on this team? Bitches.
How did this team score 23 points vs. the Pats? Bitches.

News and Notes.
Note to self. Never go back to Buffalo. I have never seen so many poor people grouped into 1 stadium in my life. Ehh, I guess Miami had a lot of trash in their place last year, but who cares. Just dont do there.

Girls are so ugly in Buffalo. I mean wtf. Have you ever heard of makeup, or a fuckin mirror? Was this a joke? Was it ugly weekend in Buffalo? I felt like I was Brad Pitt, and these hoes were trailor trash.

Canadian people are nice. I enjoyed their company.

3-1 heading into Monday Night Football. Getting back Calvin Pace, Santonio Holmes, and Darrelle Revis. LOOKOUT.

-Brian

Lebron Baby.. WOOOOOO

2010-09-30T17:51:00.003-04:00

All of a sudden Lebron is back in the media. This time, people are playing the race card. Can people please just leave the dude alone. He is easily the best player to ever play the game, and people are just hating on him like no other. Hop the fuck off. The Durantula is a close 2nd. I actually founded him well before him being a Longhorn. Thats neither here nor there though. Back to the moral of the story. All press is good press. And all the haters like the shameful city of Cleveland will see what they had done. CREATED A MONSTER. Lebron is going to go all Marshawn Lynch on you this season, AKA Beastmode. The Heat will win all 72 games, and then go undefeated in the playoffs. My only regret this NBA offseason was that JJ Redick, or Birdman didnt sign with either OKC, or the Heat.

I hate all these white people who think just because Lebron isnt one of you that he is playing the race card. The dude made a choice, and he wantd to raise money for the children. Gosh, is that so hard to believe? Lebron said he would take the heat all over again if it meant raising another 3 millie for the kids. I dont see others doing that. So instead of bashing this man, lets say what he really is, a fuckin AMERiCAN HERO.

WITNESSSSSS

The Trio Invades Buffalo...minus one

2010-09-30T11:08:00.003-04:00

2/3 of the Trio is about to make it rain up in Buffalo. The yearly Jets road trip is upon us and to make up for last years New Orleans debacle we've decided to take a visit to cream puff city aka Orchard park aka home of the hapless Buffalo Bills.

Plan is to do some wing tasting on Friday night, then head up into Canada eh on Saturday to probably do some human or drug trafficking assuming we can't get Maple Leaf tickets. If we can get tickets, then we will probably just skip the trafficking and go to the game Saturday night vs. the Wings.

Then Sunday is fun day as our boy Mark "I just wanna ball all year long" Sangchez takes the field to make a doodie on the entire city of Buffalo and surrounding areas. (My apologies to mark for those racist comments I was hurling at you during the Ravens game, you're back in my good graces)

J-E-T-S all day long.

Coming home 3-1.

Ring of Shame

2010-09-29T23:36:00.003-04:00

So Sunday night, the VAGiants plan on inducting Lawrence Taylor into their Ring of Honor. Seems kind of weird they would do such a thing. I mean the dude is currently being charged with RAPE of a 13 year old girl right?

This whole Jets bashing is just pretty awesome though. I mean Braylon drives with tinted windows and drunk, and is inhumane. Dont get me wrong here, Braylon is a fuckin moron, and he deserves what is going to come to him. Lets be honest though, LT is breaking little girls vaginas in hotel rooms and is having himself inducted into a Ring of Honor? Shit is more like a Ring of Shame.

I hope that queer Mike Fatcessa speaks about this on his show tomorrow. I am sure he will. I just that its audible though. Its hard to understand him while he is swallowing the cocks of the 53 man roster week after week. If you listened to him on any given day you would think the giants are 3-0 and are the team to beat.

I dont give a shit about all this though. Jets are in first, and giants are the worst. Eat shit fatcessa you huge piece of lard.

-Brian

Mr. Tannenbaum

2010-09-28T14:11:00.003-04:00

So how do you guys feel about Mr. Tannenbaum?? Hall of Famer right? Exactly.

As a die hard Jets fan, I have been extremely loyal to this team, which fuckin sucks. They have made me cry numerous times. On top of the crying, I have been paying for season tickets, and this year even a PSL. You might ask yourself, "Brian, Why do you do this? Are you crazy?" The one thing I have never questioned though is why. I love the Jets. I love the organization, and I love most of the fans.

In recent years, Mike Tannenbaum and Woody J have made the die hards a very happy bunch. We are pretty much fans at a buffet. We can get everything we want out of the free agent market (Calvin Pace, Kris Jenkins, Bart Scott, Santonio Holmes, Braylon Edwards, Rex Ryan, Jason Taylor, Tomlinson, Pool, Leonhard, etc. You guys jealous? AHAHAHAHA)Even the core players are getting resigned. We draft amazing, and most of our picks always help out with the team. Gholston is even coming around. Have we won yet? No. Winning is everything in the NFL, and the Jets are making strides each and every game towards that ultimate goal. This blog is pretty much just to say how awesome Tannenbaum and company are. Rex, and Woody you guys are the shit, and from 1 Jet fan to another, 143. (No Homo)

I just want to win a championship though. Please make that happen. Please.

Also, I saw on Hard Knocks that you guys print out most of what is written about you guys. If you happen to see this, please holler at us at efyousports@gmail.com. I would love to come in and interview for any job you have there. If you are thinking about not emailing us because the blog below is about betting and the blog below that we have someone making fun of someone with Down Syndrome, don't let that be a deterent. We can be great here.

Much Love,
Brian

Easy E's Picks Week 4

2010-09-28T11:31:00.003-04:00

Alright...so here we go...tough week this time around but lets give it a shot:

Wisconsin -2 @ Michigan State: Big Ten conference play kicks off this week as Bucky the badger takes a visit to East Lansing. I'm not sure if 'Sconsin is the 2nd or 3rd best team in the big ten, but I am pretty confident that they have what it takes to beat MSU. The Spartan's needed some gimmick bullshit fake FG to get by Notre Dame two weeks ago and that shit gave their coach a heart attack. I do expect this to be a typical tight Big Ten game and don't see a blowout, but I give Bucky the advantage by a TD.

The pick: Wisconsin -2

Nevada -20.5 @ UNLV: Attention College football world: Do NOT sleep on the wolf pack. They have a pretty good program out there in the desert and just beat the shit outta some pac-10 pansys a few weeks back. Look for Nevada to put up some big numbers against a team that is much better at basketball than it is at football.

The pick: Nevada -20.5

Sunday's Games:

Texans -3 @ Raiders: So the Texans offense is pretty darn solid, but they struggled big time last week in Dallas...a visit out west to Oakland should be just what the doctor ordered. Expect a big day on both sides of the ball as Houston bounces back from a bad loss last week.

The pick: Texans -3

Chargers -8 vs. Cardinals: The Chargers are up and down, back and forth just like they are EVERY September. I'm sure once October rolls around they will have like 72 wins in a row before losing a heart breaker in the first round of the playoffs. The Cardinals really are not very good and San Diego is a bitch to play at home. I fucking hate giving the extra point, but I'm clearly looking for a bounce back blowout of an inferior team.

The pick: Chargers -8

There are your four picks for the week...now just sit the fuck back, relax and enjoy the games. Look out for the picks recap on Monday.

Who has the higher IQ...

2010-09-28T00:30:00.000-04:00

This Down Syndrome kid or Vince Young?

Did my dude just dougie in the endzone?

Nice fucking try Al Michaels

2010-09-28T00:11:00.002-04:00

You almost had me there for a second, giving me that fucking sob story about Tony Sparano getting some grease in his eye or some shit being the reason dude wears his sun glasses at night. Clearly it's to hide his fucking tears after his team gets blasted by the fucking J-E-T-S.

Washed Up.

2010-09-27T16:47:00.002-04:00

Everyone was right. Tomlinson is washed up. I mean the dude cant hit a hole, can catch passes out of the backfield anymore, and he def. cant get the outside and make a nice run. Those days are wayyyyyyyyy behind him.

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE you fuckin idiots.

Tomlinson is just doing what Tomlinson does. WORK.

He has been a beast for the Jets this year. A workhorse. A leader, A lighting rod,
and just a straight up gentleman. His game sealing TD last night was great. I did want the lil LT flip, but the points were just fine.

Last year the Jets were 2-4 in the AFC East, this year we are 2-0. I can say "we" as I am a PSL holder, and a season ticket holder. Ask me if I pay their salaries, the answer is yes. Therefore, I am a shareholder, and I have my say with the team. So fuck those cheese balls that always say "we???". The answer to that is yes, we. Unless you're poor and dont have season tickets. Than just stfu and go enjoy food stamps.

Back to the point of this blog. LT is the man, and the Jets are in First Place. Now lets go eat a goddamn snack.

Brian

First Place.... Watevz

2010-09-27T13:04:00.003-04:00

Just another week of being a Jets fan I guess. Deal with the media scrutiny, deal with football fans who tell you your team sucks, deal with fat fucks like Mike Fatcessa telling us how the Jets are classless, and the Giants are the team in NY. Hey Fatcessa, tell me how Rex Ryan's ass tastes? You wannabe. Jump off a cliff and kill yourself. You are so worthless. Like I said though, whatever. Jets are in first place in te AFC East. NBD

Last night, the Jets defense was less than stellar, but good teams win when push comes to shove. Brodney Pool read that last play of the game like that pig cop read Bralyon his rights Tuesday AM. LT was awesome once again. Leaping piles, scoring td's like its nobodies business. Jason Taylor punching through the box last night was SICK. Wow, I love this team. Next week we get Calvin Pace back. He is going to rape Buffalo worse than Lawrence Taylor having his way with a 14 year old.

Player of the game is obviously Mark Fuckin Sanchez. Dude was cooler than the other side of the pillow last night, and the week before. Some assholes wrote him off after Week 1, like myself. Jokes on me and you bitches. Mark Sanchez is whats up. He lays the dick down Monday-Saturday, but Sunday is his fuckin day. Dude just wants to ball all year long, and he is showing that. I just hope he remembers we have another 2 games on Monday, and 1 on Thursday this year. Thats what good teams have, prime time games.

Key plays of the game last night:
Braylon Edwards cutting people up scoring like a 76 yard td. Is that good?
Sanchez to Edwards on the biggest play of the game. 3rd and 10, up 24-23. FIRST DOWNNNNNN
Last but not least, was actually the last play of the game. Brodney Pool breaking up the pass and having Drew Coleman get me +2 Fantasy points, and himself a good ol' INT.

Moral of the story. If Braylon stays sober, dude is fuckin unreal. If anyone doesnt know The Dougie by now, you aint a Jets Fan. Braylon jus doing the dougie in every endzone nfl wide.

Game Over,
Brian

Easy E weekend picks recap

2010-09-27T11:19:00.003-04:00

Well...like the picture shows...you can't win 'em all. 3 out of 4 for the weekend is pretty solid I'd say. It's always painful when the team that blows a perfect weekend for you scores 38 points and still doesn't cover. Fucking C.J. Spiller and that bullshit KO return for a TD.

Anyways...like I called, Stanford beat the fucking shit out of shitty Notre Dame. The final was 37-14, but if you can believe it, the game wasn't even nearly that close. Stanford turned the ball over like 61 times and settled for FG's all over the place. The Cardinal probably should have won like 52-10.

Out in Tempe things were a littler closer than I thought...The O banged out points again like it's nobodies business, but I didn't realize how much their defense fucking sucks (you can take that team off the national radar for me). I ended up shutting the game off after the 3rd quarter...I think it was like 7:30am EST at that point but I woke up to a cover.

In the NFL...the easiest game of the week was the Steelers destroying the Bucs...I mean even Charlie batch had like 500 yards passing and 7 TD's or something...Steelers have the best defense in the NFL and it's probably not even close right now.

Of course the fucking Pats shit the bed again...worst case possible they win but don't fucking cover...the good news is that their defense looks to be spread open wider than Houston after the 500....Miami is the 2nd best team in that division behind the J-E-T-S. If Brady were gone the Pats would be a 5-11 team.

This week: 3-1

Overall: 6-3

ROI: +240

Check back for this weeks picks in the next few days.

-Easy E

Braylon Dougied On Em'

2010-09-22T21:07:00.002-04:00

So I have this awesome blog all prepared and shit and I look at our site, and I see Easy E posts it already.. WTF Brah?

Anyway, lemme speak for JetsNation and say fuck the police. How many athletes drink and drive and shit? Most of em. I am not saying what Braylon did was right, becuase I am sure as shit it wasnt. Anyone that knows me knows I HATE ASSHOLES who drink and drive. Honestly, arrest Bray after the season, lock him up, kill him for all I care, just let him play on Sunday. He already Dougied all over James Butler. Sunday night, he might swag surf all up on Vontae Davis.

Haters gonna hate though. Anyone hear Mike Fatcessa this week? Dude is crying all over the place. Honestly, get a fuckin shovel for all the sand in your vagina bro. STFU and go eat yourself to death. Anyone remember Kareem McKenzie getting arrested for drinkin and driving and not being suspended? Anyone remember Lawrence Taylor snorting coke, raping 9 year old chicks? Kerry Collins hitting the bottle harder than Bart Scott hitting Ben Rapelessburger? Cmon now people. I know you only hating cause you jealous, but for real, buckle up its only week 2. For now enjoy Braylon doing his thinggggggggggggg.

J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Braylon Busted

2010-09-22T12:31:00.003-04:00

Lets just face the facts here...Braylon is a fucking bad ass. Dude goes out and catches like 60 balls with a touchdown AND a 2 point conversion and what does he do? Gets lit the fuck up the next day and drives our franchise Left Tackle and the Ghost home. But before he makes it....DWB...some piece of shit pig pulls his ass over for tinted windows and rims (fucking racist cops)....instead of tryin to play it all cool he blows a .16. Two times the legal limit. The media is all like suspend his ass blah blah blah........fuck that shit...this is the NFL and my dude needs to be on the field catchin balls from the Sanchize. Moral of the story is this: Don't fucking tint your windows.

On a side note...supposedly Shonne Greene was gonna drive the crew home, but the dude kept droppin the keys.

One Love Braylon.

-Easy E

Fuck it...lets do college too

2010-09-21T00:10:00.003-04:00

Fuck...college used to be my shit...but ever since I left I haven't had as much success betting it. Who gives a fuck though...let's see what I've got going now.

Stanford -4.5 @ Notre Dame: Irish this Irish that...blah blah...fuck them...honestly they suck and Stanford's football team is almost as good as their water polo team this year. Dudes out west can fucking score.

Oregon aka "The O" -10.5 @ Arizona State: I'll give ASU credit for hanging with Wisconsin last week at camp randall, but I got news for you...the only thing goin down in tempe this saturday (besides the hottest coeds in the country) are the sun devils. I think the Ducks are averaging like 6,000 points a game this season. Shutting their offense down means you have given up like 371 points. I'll take my chances with that.

Easy E's NFL Picks Week 3

2010-09-21T00:00:00.005-04:00

Let's try and get a little betting theme going since the NFL is back.

Last week I was 3-2 ATS (against the spread for you non degenerates aka losers out there). I hit with Atlanta, Green Bay and Indy and lost with New England and Tennessee.

This week we will play two games:

Steelers -2.5 @ Bucs: Yes...I realize that Neil O'donnell is probably starting for the Steelers this week down in Tampa, but in all honesty I'm almost not joking when I say that I could play QB for Pittsburgh and we'd still probably go 9-7. Tampa can't start the season 3-0 can they? When do you ever see a game end by less than 3 points anyway? So this is basically a pick'em and I'm pickin the men of steel.

Patriots -13 vs. Bills: Yes I bet the Pats last week and they shit the bed vs. the J-E-T-S, but they haven't lost back to back games since before color television. Also...I heard a rumor on rotoworld that the Bills were out for the season. They didn't specify which one's so I'm just assuming by their play that it's the whole team...no joke it's only Monday and I've literally already spent the winnings from this game.

Last week: 3-2

Season: 3-2

ROI (Assuming $100 bet per game with 10% Juice): + $70

Worst Bandwagon Fan EVER!

2010-06-06T20:14:00.003-04:00

Brian is no longer the biggest front-runner to ever live. This kid is the new king queer. If you see him in the streets, somebody snuff him in the mouth.

JJ Rediculous!!!!!!!

2010-05-26T21:47:00.003-04:00

Dude is just dropping BOMBS tonight. No chance Orlando losses this series. Redick for MVP.

Bellamy Road Horse = Check

2010-05-17T18:39:00.004-04:00

So Nunz, Scott Y, Easy E, Neuf, Droski, and I got another horse. This is the first for Ant, Matt, and Dro, but for myself, Scott, and Easy E this is our second. Yes, I know what you're thinkin, we are effin ballers. Whoever think that is absolutely correct.

You know what makes this horse awesome though? Its George Fuckin Steinbrenners horses kid. Like that's basically owning a piece of the Yankees. I am this much closer to being on the same level as ARod now. Whatever Georgie Boy touched turned to gold (minus Igawa, and Fat Toad). I expect to win the Triple Crown next year. Also, WTD is def. in a relationship with this filly.

Speaking of Arod, I might invite him out for some drinks and shit, so he can get me girls. I am going to go to a baseball game and ask to speak with Hal. Since I own part of a Bellamy Road horse, does that make me a minority owner of the Yankees? I guess so. At least it does until someone says it doesnt. Either way, ARod and I are going out to smash girls this summer, cant wait.

Look at this horse. FUCKIN BEAUTIFUL.

Oh My

2010-05-14T14:33:00.001-04:00

Look at this kid. Gimme 2 of em. I hope I was this awesome as a child. Come to think of it, I am sure I was.

EMBED-Funny Two-Year Old Football Prodigy - Watch more free videos

Mo Coaches, Less Problems

2010-05-14T01:57:00.002-04:00

As you guys know Tommy P left Hofstra. Thats awesome news. That guy sucked more dick than Jenna Jameson in her prime. We then had an awesome hire in Tim Welsh. Well, that guy drinks more then Homeless Harry, and he got fired 34 days into the job. Now we have fuckin Mo Cassara. I've never heard of the dude, he coached girls basketball, and did something at Dayton. You know what though? Who gives a shit. As long as its not Pecora. My expectations of this dude are very low, and I dont mean that to be an asshole. This guy has flown under the radar his whole life, so why not do it now. Lead us to the promised land. **For all you Hofstra supporters here, the promised land means NCAA Tournament** We havent tasted that shit since Jay Wright was cooking up a storm at Hofstra. While I said my expecations are low for this guy, I expect to fuckin win. None of this garbage "first year" bullshit.

Let's go Mo

Defense??

2010-05-13T22:50:00.002-04:00

So I am sitting here watching the Cavs/Celtics game. Cavs are down 7 with 1:35 left. Game is over. You know why? Because there is no defense in the NBA. Cavs were just down 14, and have now cut the lead to 7 without any defense. But like WTF if they Cavs played defense they could be winning. They score a bucket and dont even press. I am not sure about the rules in the NBA, but once u get drafted are you not allowed to fuckin press anymore? This is why the NBA is for the birds. This shit sucks.

NBA All Swag Team
1. JJ Redick
2. Kevin Durant
3. Birdman
4. Lebron

That's it. The rest of the NBA is a bunch of chumps.

Fuck the NBA

Laser Show.... Relax

2010-05-11T01:04:00.003-04:00

So I come across this video of DP the other day, and I figured I would blog it. Supposedly everyone in Boston is crushing Big Papi, like he is horrible all of a sudden. Newsflash Boston, he has been horrible since Manny left. Manny was the heart and soul of that team. Without him in the lineup, how can anyone on that team succeed?

Now we have Pedroia acting a fool in the locker room. Dude thinks he put on a laser show. Yea, he won the MVP or ROY that year, dont even know, baseball is for the birds. Whatever the case may be. He likes men. The video is funny though.

Jorge

2010-05-04T00:37:00.003-04:00

How bad is Jorge Posada? I mean this dude cant throw, cant block a ball, and is just bad. I understand he has a decent bat and all, but to me, its not even worth it. Pitchers hate throwing to him, and he is now a liability behind the plate. Francisco Cervelli has a much better arm, and probably went to the Rex Ryan school of defense, because dude is a machine back there. This "Jorge Posada is a real Yankee" garbage is for morons. There is no such thing as a real Yankee. Stop living in the past. I would believe there was a such thing as real yankees, if the yankees were charging 1998 prices. The real yankees are charging 1,000,000,000,000 dollars a game, and 39.00 for a hot dog now. If I am paying those prices (which i never would) I would like to see top notch athletes. Which for the most part they have, just not Jorge. I love when he doesnt catch as it most likely means the Yanks will win. I'd rather have Matt Nokes behind the plate then this scrub.

PS. He is an average hitter, dont get it twisted. He aint Joe "Power" Mauer.

My team bout green RONDO, Roger that!

2010-05-04T00:32:00.003-04:00

If Rondo's game 2 performance tonight doesn't prove that he is one of the games ELITE point guards I don't know what will. This guy is by FAR the most unappreciated player outside of Boston. And it's pretty disrespectful to not consider him at LEAST top five in the league. do people realize that he was the focal point of Boston's championship team? Who do you think was the catalyst who got shit going for the Big Three?

Top five PG's in the league. Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Steve Nash, Rondo, and Tony Parker. NOT Derek Rose. NOT Tyreke Evans. NOT Steph Curry. (Yes, I've heard people say this). Like really guys? The only thing I would say Derek Rose is better at is his ability to hit jumpers. (Which I still don't think is THAT wet). Rondo is better defender, better distributor, and a killer fucking instinct. Ask the Lakers when they got spanked. They continued to disrespect Rondo, and what did ol' boy do? He took them to school. He hit open floaters, got into the lane at will, and made dudes like Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and James Posey Champions.

Rondo tied a team record with 19 assists as he carved up the swiss cheese Lebroniers defense. Want to know the secret to beating the Celtics Lebroniers? STOP RONDO.

Or you can just stick to the excuse of Lebron's "injured" elbow. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. It's just an excuse for the King to use if they don't win a championship this year. I'm sick of hearing this excuse. It is such a cop out. Accept losing like a man "Chosen One".

-Jumpoff J

P.S. Follow Lebron's Elbow on Twitter!

DICK!

2010-05-04T00:29:00.004-04:00

Way to go Tim Welsh. You fucking moron. You get a huge deal from an awesome school, and a month later you fucking go out drinking and driving? Way to set an example. I'm not sure if you have kids, but goes to show you that you dont even love them if you did. You were willing to go out drunk as a skunk and put your life, as well as innocent others on the line? For what? You fucking dick. I am sure you're not married, as no one is that stupid to love someone as dumb as yourself.You blew twice the legal limit 2 hours after you were taken in. How drunk were you? Really? You're such a waste of life. Rot in hell you bitch.

Shuttin' Shit Down On The Field

2010-04-25T00:23:00.005-04:00

Cmon now. Like you didnt see my blog on February 22nd? (http://efyousports.blogspot.com/2010/02/draft-time.html) I hope ya'll didnt watch the draft. I could have told you everything before hand. Mel Kiper? Who the fuck is Mel Kiper? Jim Irsay and I dont know Mel Kiper. We know Brian, and Brian runs the NFL draft (not the combine, im way to fat). Back to my point. In February I had a meeting of the minds, and decided Kyle Wilson was THAT dude. Mikey T and Rex went out and got em. What more can we ask for? Vlad the FUCKIN Impaler? Ok, well we got him to.

So at the draft that I went to on Thursday (VIP), we were sitting with Malcolm Jenkins mother who is from Piscataway. You know who else is from PWAY? Kyle Fuckin Wilson. You know where Kyle Fuckin Wilson eats? Jose effin Tejas. YESSIRRRR.

Honestly who the fuck is going to pass the ball on this defense? I forsee a blitz on every down. Hope your mental clock is ticking Brady, cause the Jets are bearing down, and we are coming for fuckin blood.

Peep this Kyle Wilson video. Dude lays the WOOD.

GET ON MY LEVELLLLLLLLLL

2010-04-19T12:45:00.002-04:00

The Mezzanine level.

That's exactly what Jumpman Joe and Nunz did. We are now proud owners of a fucking PSL. HOLLERRRRR.

We went to The New Mecca yesterday, and figured sitting together was a necessity. Joe and Nunz opted for the PSL's right next to Eric and I. HOLLAAAAAAA. So no joke, we will be rolling in section 229, Row 12, Seats 17-23. WHAT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Next year, and for many years to come is going to be amazing. We will be there from start to finish of the new stadium. We will be calling that shit the old stadium when we are through with it. Jets day in, Jets day out. Thats how we fuckin roll.

Boston?? AHAHA

2010-04-18T22:33:00.003-04:00

So as you know, I LOVE BASEBALL. I mean, I go to most Yankee home games. I am a real fan. So I just wanted to take time and write this blog about how bad the Red Sucks are. Like what do they have 4 wins? AHAHAHA. Boston is in a bad state of affairs with this team. Big Papi is awful, and their starting pitchers are laughable. The Yanks front 3 are 7-0. Beckett, Lester, and Lackey are like... who fuckin cares, Boston sucks.

I am rooting for anyone but Boston. I also want D Wade to pimp slap the Celtics. You see Kevin Garnett the other day? Dude, calm down, its the NBA. No need to be elbowing people in the head. No one is watching, nor caring. I think he got off easy with a 1 game suspension. If I was Q Rich I would press charges.

Finally, things are looking up for the Patriots.

SIIIIIIIIIIIIKE. They fuckin suck.

Draft Blog 2.0

2010-04-13T00:09:00.002-04:00

So in my previous Draft blog, I requested we draft Kyle Wilson. Since then we got, LaDanian Tomlinson, Antonio Cromartie, Nick Folk, and Santonio Holmes, Holmes. Our team is FUCKIN STACKED.

So now the question is "Who do we draft?" Your guess is as good as mine. I would still love Kyle Wilson, but thats a reach. Getting a WR isnt necessary anymore. Maybe they get Jared Odrick from PSU? Maybe they get Taylor Mays from USC? Who the hell knows. All I know is I want it to be August. Honestly, I am looking into Dallas already for the Super Bowl.

Check back in tonight as I will break down the 16-0 schedule that gets released later in the day.

Our Seats

2010-04-11T20:37:00.003-04:00

So Easy E and I hit up the NEW Meadowlands yesterday for the first ever event in the joint. Hofstra/UDel lacrosse. Obvisouly Hofstra blew them out, 12-11. More importantly, we went up to our seats, and took a picture. Now let me tell you, I was expecting a lot from the seats cause of the cayshe we dropped. I was not dissapointed. Our seats are fuckin sick. I mean when you roll with YounG MoneY, we only get the best. Our seats effin rock. I cant wait for SaNCHeZ_2_CoTcH/BraYLoN ALL DAY next season.

DUKEEEEE Baby

2010-04-06T11:36:00.003-04:00

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP. Jamie J strikes again. Another team I root for wins a championship. Dont act like you're not impressed. Coach K, and Jon Scheyer raised a championship trophy last night in Indy for the world to see. Congrats to the Cameron Crazies of Duke.

Yea, the picture of me is on the Duke bench this year. Acting like I owned Cameron, which maybe I did. For the record, any college bench I sat on this year the team has won the national championship.

So as I was going through my daily routine of blogging, COD'ing, cursing, and eating, I thought of this. Eric and I are the fuckin men. We go on a roadtrip and basically whatever we touched turned into gold. We see Michigan State team play, they make the Final four. We see UNC play, they made the Championship of the NIT (lost to a mid major though), we go to Duke and Eric touches the backboard, they win a CHAMPIONSHIP. Like, Eric and I ran wild at Duke, and I guess we had the Midas touch. I was sitting on the court and bench. I touched a lot of air near the backboard there as well. We even paid for parking. So when some fag tells me I didnt go to Duke, well, the jokes on them (not you Rich). Cause I paid for some of their scholarships. I even bought a shirt there. Which I wore last night during the game.

Next year, I hope to still be unemployed and doing another road trip. This time though, I am gettin' paid. Who wants a championship? I can promise to the highest bidder Eric will come in and touch backboard at your gym. I will touch a lot of air around it as well. This worked at Duke, and can work at your school as well. I hope Oregon comes through and pays us, cause they awesome. Let it be known though, Hofstra has dibs over all schools.

Congrats to JJ Redick, Coach K, and Jon Scheyer.

PS. Here is the One Shining Moment video from 2010. We need Luther back. No offense, but you Jennifer Hudson sucked ass. It's a tradition Vandross would kill it every year after the final buzzer, now we have Jennifer Hudson? WTF

Baseball is Back :(

2010-04-04T23:49:00.002-04:00

So I just wasted 14 hours of my life watching this Yankee game. They jumped out to like a 5-1 lead, and just blew the game. If Jorge knew how to fuckin catch a ball, the game would have been over. Actually, Joba would have come in and blow the game.

I said after last season that baseball is for the birds, and I mean it. I cant watch this garbage. Do I care the Yanks lost? Hell no. My new team this year is the Nationals. They are going to be doing big things.

PS. Jorge Posada cost us game counter is at 1.

PPS. I am still a Yankee fan, but realize baseball is a long season, and I dont have time for it.

Tim FUCKIN Welsh

2010-04-04T15:12:00.003-04:00

We got our new coach, and I am SOOO happy. They couldnt have picked a better guy then Tim Welsh. I had 3 candidates in mind. Me, Coach K, and Tim Welsh. So when they picked him, I was ecstatic. The guy comes from the Big East when he was head coaching Providence 2 years ago. He is a great recruiter, and a winner. Like Coach K, all Welsh does is win. Next year is going to be special. Chaz, Halil, and CJ 22. For the first time since 2000, Hofstra has a real head coach. No more of this interim Tom Pecorat type shit. Good riddance Pecora, enjoy Fordham.. AHAHAHAHA. Maybe you can change their season around and win 4 games.. Highly doubtful since you're a terrible coach, but who knows.

LONG LIVE WELSH

Championshipppp

2010-04-04T15:05:00.002-04:00

So we didnt make the Final Four in Danny Boys pool. You know who did? JJ Redicks alma mater.... The Dukiessssssssssss Baby. I mean, I knew it was going to happen. They are the best major conference team in the nation. Duke has a storied tradition of just winning. I'm down with that.

The coach is a flat out winner. I would love Coach K to coach all of my kids. I would just know that my kids would be all around great people. Probably excelling in all sports. I dont understand why everyone hates him? He wins with grace, he wins with class, and he wins by scoring more points then the opposing team. For christ sake, the dude coached Team usa to an olympic gold medal.

Butlers coach is kinda cool if you're a fuckin loser. I mean he is 33 years old, and looks like he is 11. I bet he went to Harvard, scored a 1601 on his SAT, and dated straight models as a teenager. Chill out bro, you're 33 let some older guys make it rain like you. You're a "mid major" and your just wiping the floor with these major schools. Respek though.

It's a win/win for me. If my Dukies win, ppl know I always root for them. If Butler wins, a "mid major" wins and we can shove it in the Big Leasts face.

Hard Knocks SONNNNNNNN

2010-03-25T12:47:00.003-04:00

Just watched the press conference on SNY. The Jets will be appearing on HBO's series Hard Knocks next season. No, the press conference didnt break the news to me, I have just been madd lazy. So yea, this is going to be awesome. We are going to see Bart Scott fucking mentally rape people this summer. Over/Under on how many people he makes cry is 4, I got the over. That's 1 opponent per preseason game. How many F Bombs will Rex Ryan drop per episode? I have the over/under set at 12. Should be an interesting bet every episode. I think episode 1 I got the over.

It all makes sense now though. Rex Ryan is trying to leave his wife, and fuck models this summer. Why else would he get lap band surgery? The dude is going to look like Brad Fucking Pitt this summer. HBO will ask Rex to appear on Real Sex after Hard Knocks. Maybe even send him to the Cathouse to beat the shit outta that bitch Dennis, and take the place over. We traded Hollywood Kerry Rhodes due to Hard Knocks. If you tell me otherwise, your a homo. Rex couldnt have a player steal his thunder. Rex wants to be the one banging all summer. With Kerry on the team, he might have been in competition with Rex. I can now see Rex ending practice early cause he has Lisa Ann, or Eva Angelina in his dorm room. Joslyn James will now be blowing the whistle at practices. It's going to be insane this summer.

We get to hear Steve Sabol all summer long. Oh what's that rookie? You dont like carrying the gatorade cooler out to practice? STFU. Do as Bart says.

My prediction for the Jets this season? 24-0. 4-0 preseason. 16-0 Regular season. 3-0 Playoffs, and the Jets will be the AFC pro bowl roster, and fucking win.

Happy Birthdays

2010-03-25T12:40:00.003-04:00

So Jumpoff John celebrated his birthday without a gift. I am not surprised since the dude is a haterrrrrrrrrr. I celebrated my birthday on Tuesday, and got the best gift of all. TOM PECORA LEFT. The former "coach" at Hofstra left to go to Fordham.

Last year in the A-10, Fordham lost a few heartbreakers, and were in the mix for the regular season crown up until about ummmmmmmmmm, game 1. They finished 0-16 in conference. They did have 2 wins overall though. I guess Pecorat knows he is an awful coach, and his time was up at Hofstra. People were getting antsy with our 0 NCAA appearances in his tenure at Hofstra. I legit thought he was trying to set a record for being the best mediocre coach in the world. I will have to contact Guinness Book of Records to see if he accomplished his feat. 10 years and we got shit from him. 0 fucking dancing lessons. He left a good team here though, so I guess his local recruiting pipeline is still working.

Next year, regardless of our coach, we will be a much better team. We will have offensive gameplans, and might even run an inbounds play or 2. Hofstra ran the same inbounds plays as my JCC team did back in 1995. I wonder if he numbered the plays as well? Did they start when the inbounder slapped the ball? Oh Pecorat so happy to see you go. Please take your assistants with you, as they have 0 chance at Hofstra.

Tom, if you get lost, you can find us next march fuckin dancing.

MADNESS!!!

2010-03-14T18:48:00.002-04:00

The Final 65 have been announced. Not too many surprises here in terms of snubs. Peep that Midwest bracket of death.

Midwest

Oklahoma City, Thursday and Saturday: Kansas/Lehigh; UNLV/Northern Iowa

Spokane, Friday and Sunday: Michigan State/New Mexico State; Maryland/Houston

Milwaukee, Friday and Sunday: Ohio State/UC Santa Barbara; Oklahoma State/Georgia Tech

Providence, Thursday and Saturday: Georgetown/Ohio; Tennessee/San Diego State

West

Buffalo, Friday and Sunday: Syracuse/Vermont; Gonzaga/Florida State

San Jose, Thursday and Saturday: Butler/UTEP; Vanderbilt/Murray State

Oklahoma City, Thursday and Saturday: Kansas State/North Texas; BYU/Florida

Milwaukee, Friday and Sunday: Pittsburgh/Oakland; Xavier/Minnesota

East

New Orleans, Thursday and Saturday: Kentucky/East Tennessee; Texas/Wake Forest

Jacksonville, Friday and Sunday: Temple/Cornell; Wisconsin/Wofford

Buffalo, Friday and Sunday: West Virginia/Morgan State; Clemson/Missouri

San Jose, Thursday and Saturday: New Mexico/Montana; Marquette/Washington

South

Jacksonville, Friday and Sunday: Duke/Play-in; California/Louisville

Spokane, Friday and Sunday: Texas A&M/Utah State; Purdue/Siena

Providence, Thursday and Saturday: Villanova/Robert Morris; Richmond/St. Mary's

New Orleans, Thursday and Saturday: Baylor/Sam Houston State; Notre Dame/Old Dominion

Put On Your Dancinnnnnn Shoes

2010-03-14T16:24:00.004-04:00

Can you feeeel that? In less than two hours, the Big Ten tournament will be completed and the Selection Show will underway. Can you feeeel that? The field of 65 will be finalized and the Trio will waste no time in getting to work. This is what we do baby. We're taking the Danny Boy's pool by the sack this year and we're not settling for anything less than winning that money pool. With all the ego's, hating, and douchebaggery put to a minimum this year, the crews main focus is to work together and bringing home that paper. We're not like most Hofstra "fans" on the CAAZONE. We don't settle with being the first losers. (We came in second place last year) We're taking this bitch by the reins and riding on home with deep pockets full of stacks baby. Let's get it boys!!!

No March Madness is complete without a little "friendly" competition. So please join us this year and try to dethrone last years champ (yours truly) in the ESPN NCAA Tournament Pick Em. Log onto ESPN.com and search for the group name: "The Haters Ball". It's public, so no password is required.

Until then, peace out haters.

-Jumpoff J

Let's Get This!

2010-03-13T13:24:00.003-05:00

I hope my dude John Wall is using this picture of Scotty Hopson as inspiration. The SEC Semi's going down right now. The Wildcats have their hands full this afternoon when they play Bruce Pearl's Tennessee squad. With the series tied at a game a piece, UK can pretty solidify a one seed if they are able to hold off the Vols, as well as the bragging rights to do this heated rivalry. Their last meeting, the Vols knocked off the Wildcats and prevented them from claiming the number one school in the nation.

Gotta fucking love March Madness.

-Jumpoff

It's Back

2010-03-10T12:52:00.002-05:00

I am now collecting money and entries for the Danny Boys pool. March Madness is here baby.. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Last year we had about 25 entries, and ya'll know how that ended. 1 point away. 1 fuckin point. This year, The Tremedous Trio will be formulating the brackets. Hmm, that doesnt sound good. Uhh, dont tell the rest of the people in the pool that a threesome who created a blog about losing is taking their money and formulating the brackets. You know what though? No one knows more about college basketball then Jumpoff John and I do. I am the Stan Fischler of this shit. A Maven.

This year we have way more entries for our group, and I hope we can take it down. 416,000$ was last years pot, this year, I am guessing it will touch 600,000, maybe more.

John celebrates his birthday on the 20th of March, and mine on the 23rd. We will be gettin shit faced and watching college basketball all throughout March. Is this the best time of the year? YES. If you answered no, you are either a chick, or you dont like chicks. I am sure I will be updating you guys on how we do. If for some reason you dont see us blogging after the tourney, that is because I am on St. Tropez banging hot models.

UConn?? More Like UCant.

2010-03-04T11:44:00.003-05:00

Hasheem Thabeet demoted to the D League.. AHAHAHAHAHA. I feel bad for Memphis that they wasted their pick on this little bitch. I could have been their scout in the draft. I would have told them Adrian Uter would have been a wayyyyyy better pick. That dude controlled the boards in the CAA. He is playing in Israel now, ya'll should holla at him.

Hasheem Thabeet is in the D League.. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Will it get old? I dont know if it could. He Hasheem say whats up to Joe Schmo, and Joe Dirt. Enjoy bus rides to Lake Walanpampak, and North Dakota. Oh you want steak? You dont get steak in the D League. You're lucky if they treat you better then fuckin OJ Simpson. You're a D Leaguer.

Just another UConn stud.

On The Eve

2010-03-03T12:04:00.004-05:00

Richmond is upon us. Tomorrow night, YNG$ hop into the Mercedes of Hondas, and a Pontiac and roll to Richmond. Hofstra is hot, and there is no better time to head down to VA. This has become an annual trip, and its always the best time of year. March Madness is like no month on earth.

Our first game is a rematch of last weekends tilt. Hofstra vs. Georgia St. I am never confident in Richmond, but I think we pull out a win in this game. If thats the case, we face Northeastern in the second round, who drew a bye. Hofstra got lucky in the sense of not drawing a VA based team in the first 2 rounds. The Richmond Coliseum will be farely empty for these games, which is awesome. The worst part of Richmond is the fans. Most HATE Hofstra, and I would hate us too if we were from Va. We are loud, cocky, and confident. Thats how we do up here. Ya'll know that.

This year, the CAAZone beer pong tourney got cancelled. It sucks, but whatever. Everyone knows that Scott and I woulda won that again. Added to the mix for this years tourney is CAAZone basketball game. I mean, this is just insane. Is there any doubt that we are going to win the entire thing? We are from fuckin NY/NJ, i'm sure a bunch of people from VA are going to beat us. I would put up our 5 man squad over any fans squad in the CAA, and even Delaware and Towson's actual team.

We going to have the MD's on ice, and be ballin' out ALL weekend. Hopefully we get a few wins down there, if not, whatever. All is fun in VA.

Oy Govalt

2010-03-03T11:09:00.005-05:00

As if the New Jersey Nets werent pathetic enough. Just wait, you havent heard their next promotion. When I woke up this morning, I checked my yahoo, and saw that the Nets were offering another insane promotion. You get your 10 game ticket plan, you get a reversible Nets/Lebron/DH12, or other superstar jersey. If you are unemployed, bring your resume, and get a free ticket and career advice. Think about that, getting career advice from a fuckin team that has 6 wins. What can they tell people to help them get jobs? If at first you dont succeed pick yourself up and try again?? Yea, maybe they are right, they havent had success in quite a long time. I will pass on the advice though. Save it for your scouts and general manager. They can use it more then we can, since they will soon be unemployed as well. This latest promotion beats all of that though. Ready for it?
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If you are 18 or older, come to a the game vs. Orlando and receive a free tax consultation from Roni Deutch. The Nets are so desperate that they are now bringing in tax into the mix. What is going on in these promotion meetings? I can only imagine. They have stretched so far out of the realm of basketball that they thought of this promotion.

I have an idea for their next promotion. If you attend a single Nets game through the rest of the year, the Nets will finally go away, and never bother you with any of these stupid promotions again.

Also, here is a solution. Focus on winning. You are in prime shape to get Jumpoff John's boyfriend, John Wall. Stop coming up with these retarded fuckin promotions and just focus on your basketball personel.

RIP Phone

2010-03-02T00:22:00.003-05:00

So today was an awful day. I got a job interview which will cut into my Call of Duty time, and broke my phone, which A. Leaves me without a phone, and B. Hinders my abilty to text people who I play Call of Duty with telling them to hop on.

Also, I have come to the realization that when you dont have a phone, you get this crazy feeling that all the people in the world are trying to get at you at the exact time your phone goes down. Do you know how many girls tried calling my phone telling me they wanted to have sex with me? Probably -80, but in my head, I am thinkin my entire hot girl phone list. That drives me nuts. I am going to receive voice mails from all these hot bitches saying "Hey Brian, just wanted to let you know I was in the area and wanted to bang. If you get this in the next 5 hours gimme a ring. If not this opportunity will never arise again." Yup, thats just my luck. My inbox will be filled with 14 of those messages. GREAT.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Hopefully tomorrow I get a new phone, and return to the monotonous life of not getting calls by hot girls. At least I can get at people to tell em to play CoD though. WIN

Back By Popular Demand!!!

2010-03-01T23:09:00.004-05:00

A week ago, Brian gives me a heads up that he's going to bring the blog back from it's temporary hiatus now that March Madness is officially underway. I mean, what is March Madness without the Trio's touch in this year's big dance? Exactly!

As the reigning champ in last year's big dance bracket, it's only right that Jumpoff J gives an abridged preview of his own Bracketology.

1. John Fucking Wall: Brian and I go back and forth in regards to who's the most ballin' freshman since Kevin Durant. He sides with the standout freshman Xavier Henry from Kansas (no surprise he chooses the player on the former number 1 ranked team in the nation). But check it, John Wall is the real deal Holyfield. It's only fitting that this years NBA Draft is already called the "John Wall Sweepstakes". This boy has lived up to the hype this season, and has made the year a memorable one. Expect him to run shit in the tournament.

2. Jumpoff J's Final Four: Pretty cocky for a dude to make Final Four predictions before the field of 65 hasn't even been announced. But then again, not everybody is me! My current final four predictions is Kentucky, Syracuse, Kansas, and New Mexico. NEW MEXICO??? That's right kids, New Mexico is going to be sleeper of the year! Read on.

3. Weak Mid-Majors Appearances: Last year, there wasn't much noise made by the mid-majors and I don't expect any change this year. But I still believe the "not-so" mid-majors will be doing work this year. The Mountain West should probably have four teams entering the dance: New Mexico, BYU, UNLV, and SDSU. Earlier in the year, Joe Lanardi had around six teams from the Atlantic 10 for crying out loud dancing this year. But expect the boys in the mountains to do some serious work.

4. Darington Hobson: The high flyin', swag surfing, emotional leader for the Lobos is going to make a serious name for himself this year in the tournament. If you peeped the game this past weekend against BYU, you'll know that this kid means business. Watch out.

That's all I got time for now, going to put some caps on fools in Call of Duty.

Peace out haters.

-Jumpoff

Timmy Te'doh

2010-02-28T23:02:00.002-05:00

Damn. Now I have to see this little bitch at the combine? Wont he go away?? He has changed his throwing motion, he is going to be a qb in the NFL, he is going to bring fan support all over, blah blah blah. STFU Tim Tebow is a fuckin bitch. He played at Florida and they ran the spread offense. That's like me going to the Rec center and playing basketball with kids my age. Of course I am going to fuckin go beast mode on them. I am way better then them, and Florida had better athletes then most schools. Put him in the NFL, and he will be a zero. He will be worse then a zero.

Also, WTF are these athletes at the combine wearing? This aint dancing with the stars. No NFL fan wants to see these mamouth animals in skin tight under armour clothing. Like, when Mt. Cody runs his 40, I am sure dudes dick is going to be hitting the floor. That will slow that man down. Sad part is, he couldnt probably beat me in the 40. FUCK, I am out of shape.

At the end of this blog, I began to realize Timmy T isnt as bad as I make him out to be. Its Urban Meyer who I hate the most. I am not wishing Tebow success in the NFL, but he kind of reminds me of myself a little bit. All the talent in the world, just needs a chance. Like this blog for instance. Have you read a better blog in the last 45 seconds? No. My blog is awesome. So maybe Tim Tebow can win one for the gippur over here. Whadya say bitch?

YM

Bitches, man

2010-02-28T22:07:00.004-05:00

As you know, I once had a girlfriend. YUPPPPPPPPPP, girls loved me at one point. I mean, who wouldnt? I am a fuckin celebrity blogger. Bitch get off me.

So yea, tooting my own horn rant over, back to the blog.

I once dated a girl named Jamie. We knew eachother for like 5 years and dated on and off, on and off, on and off, off and on for about 4 years. Guess how many world championships my teams won? FUCKIN ZERO. Its like hashem was saying "Brian, while you date her, I will not let you be happy in the sports world. You might not have blue balls in the bedroom, but ahaha, jokes on you in the sports game." He was right. I fuckin lost everything in my sports world.

The bitch dumps me, and the Yanks win a world series, Jets make the AFC Championship game, Team USA won Silver, and Hofstra basketball is the heat. All in a year. WTF is that? Was hashem really serious about punishing me? The second it was over, he lifted my sports ban, and gave me happniess. I want to know though, what does a blogger like me have to do to capitalize in both angles of the game? Bitches, and Championships.

For the record, baseball is for the birds at this point. I aint into that shit anymore. Hockey is like a Mitchell and Ness throwback, people only care every 4 years. The Jets and Hofstra though are my fuckin teams.

Remember 06?? The fuckin Skincident. I would explain the incident, but let's be real. No one fuckin reads this thing. If you read it, its because I linked you to it, and you did me a favor. So yea, Hofstra ran fuckin shit in the CAA's that year, and in the championship game, they crapped out. Before that game, our best player got punched in his junk. It was awful. That bus ride home though I felt like I too had gotten punched in the nuts as well. You know who was there to enjoy the game with me? Yea, you guessed it. Fuckin Jamie. THANKSSSSSSSS. Dont worry though, she dumped my ass. Now Hofstra and I are fuckin' rollin into the tourney this year. You think we got no shot? AHAHAH. We got the Jamie factor on our side. She dumps me, we win. You're welcome Hofstra. I havent used my dick in like 2 years, but whatever, it might be worth it.

Onto the Jets. The fuckin Filet Mignon of my sports menu. I fuckin love this team as you already know. How does Jamie come into play? Hmm, lets see. Well, the first time I took her to a game was the preseason. We fought at the game, she cried, the game was fuckin miserable. Next and LAST time, we went to a Jets/Ravens game. It was a good game...FOR RAVENS FANS. I have these southern fuckin queers hooting and hollering at her, and im just wanting to watch the game. I made some comments towards people, and watever, it ended. The Jets lost the game. Of course. Last year, the last year of our relationship sort of, the Jets started 8-3.. Playoffs for sure right? NOPE. Thanks Jamie. This year, we are not together, and the Jets kicked ass, took names, and then beat the shit outta those people.

So is this sports world looking up for me? I hope so. If not, please fuckin kill me. If another girl is dumb enough to date me, I hope my teams win.

YM

Call Me.....NOSTRADAMUS

2010-02-24T19:12:00.003-05:00

Did I call the last game or what? TRICK GET OFF ME. I mention 2 players in a blog, and low and behold, they fuckin ran shit in the Olympics today. Ryan Miller got his shutout, and ZP9er got the game winning goal, and then the empty netter. It's unreal how accurate I am. No idea why I havent been hired yet. Employers this is me, Brian. I can make it rain for you just like I do at efyousports.

Also, Hofstra won last night. CJ22 aka The Takeover was lights out last night, minus his 7 turnovers, he was awesome. Next time you want to make us 11 point underdogs, do some more research. Richmond is calling.
YM

Game On

2010-02-24T13:07:00.002-05:00

Today the puck drops at 3pm for the USA and Swiss. It's now win or go home. I wish I was able to say that this was the msot exciting game today, but nope. Canada and Russia face off tonight in the same deal. Win or go home. I've asked this question 100 times, but I will ask it again. Why is Olympic hockey 1000x better then the NHL? I can watch all games in the Olympics, but I have trouble even watching a Devils game in the regular season?

Brodeur didnt start last night, which is awesome. I would rather him rest up for the Devils playoff run. Not to get off track, this blog is about the USA. Ryan Miller is continuing his push to secure all the bitches in the USA. I can see it now, he gets a shutout, and girls start throwing thongs on the ice for him. He wins gold, his dick will not stop working. He might retire from hockey to claim all of his prizes. Dating models, super models, and even like better looking chicks then super models, its going to be never ending. I would hope Parise gets the same treatment, but like, I just dont see it happening. He plays home games in Newark, NJ. If he gets traded to the Kings though, watch out. Dude will contract AIDS in a week or less.

I've noticed that other countries celebrate a lot more when they score then the USA does. Why is that? Are we so cool that we dont even care about winning? Russia scores a goal and its an orgy on the ice. Rafalski scores a goal, and you would think its an exhibition game? I hope today is more joyous as we spank the Swiss. 3-1 last time, 19-0 this time.

GO USA

Boom Goes The Dynamite x2

2010-02-24T01:38:00.002-05:00

No joke I think this kid is retarded. This has to be a joke. There is absolutely zero chance this kid wasnt doing this on purpose. Can you imagine being in class with him, and watching him mock an interview like this. Ta, Ta, Ta, Ta, today juniorrrrr. This should be an infomercial for rival schools of Kent State. WTF is Kent State going to say about their Broadcast Journalism major now? They should ban this student from the school, banish the records, and tell the general public it was a publicity stung.

I can now go to bed easier now knowing that I can be shitfaced, attend a womens basketball game, and know more about the game then this turd bucket.

Our Hero

2010-02-23T12:00:00.002-05:00

Tonite's Gonna Be A Good Night

2010-02-23T11:23:00.002-05:00

Hofstra tips off against Northeastern tonight live on ESPNU at 9. Heading into Richmond a week from Thursday, we already locked up the 7 seed. That sucks ass, considering we have won 7 out of our their last 8, and are a team on a mission now. If we can pull a win tonight in Mathews Arena, and the Monarchs of Old Dominion can win their next game, we might be able to play NU in Richmond next week, IF we win our first game.

Next week is going to be SICK. We are def. rolling into Richmond ready to ef shit up. You can try to put together a better 8 man squad, but you wont be able to. When we win the pickup basketball game, and then defend our Beer Pong belts people will be drinkin that Hofstra Haterade even more. It's not like we head into restaurants and bars down there with our Hofstra gear on, and we make friends. No, we have jerkoffs coming up to us saying "Hofstra....We ate em".. First off, wtf does that mean? This was coming from an Old Dominion fan, so we understand that they are not educated, nor on a reading level above 5th grade. Still though, Hofstra we ate em???
Props to VCU fans though, they were rather nice. Our biggest beef with teams is Drexel though. If you tried to put together a bigger group of queers, you couldnt. Their student section is called the "Dac Pac" which Hofstra renamed the "Wack Pack". They are literally the biggest nerds to ever attend basketball games. Guinness Book of World Records should send a record keeper there, and see if they can break the record for largest gathering of virgins in one place. Do it vs. a good team like Old Dominion so you can include there bitch ass fans as well.
PS. DrexelJay, if you are reading this, you arent included. Your house was cool last year, and thanks for the Pong Tourney.

Until Next Time Bitches,
YM

Called Into Duty

2010-02-23T01:42:00.002-05:00

How fuckin ill is this game? I mean, hoenstly, this is the best game I have ever played. I usually only buy sports games, and just fuckin own people in them, but when it comes to Call of Duty, I am addicted. I literally went to the mall the other day to get a pair of sweats to play COD in.Like, my room is now a cave. I dont care if its rain or shine, as long as I am noob tubing little punk bitches in Call of Duty, I am happy. Most of you are saying "Get a job, blah blah blah". Eat shit bitches, hop on the sticks, and then try finding a job. They should have a fuckin disclaimer on this game "If you are currently unemployed, please do not buy this game, as you will not be motivated to even shower anymore." Well I shower everyday. So I am ahead of the curve.

Shoutout to YNG$. JMT, Jumpoff John, Sandro, Scotty C, Josh Casey, Kevin, Matt Simms, Brian, and other people that I cant remember now. When other clans come in contact with us though, they get run the fuck over.

When you woke up today, did you ever think to go on the best blog on the internet and read about a fuckin video game? Well, I for one didnt think I was going to wake up and write about one either. Shit happens when you play for 4 hours straight though.

Young Money

Draft Time

2010-02-22T17:38:00.002-05:00

Last year, Anthony Nunziato hooked it up. He brought us to the draft and we had a phenominal time. As the day approached I was nervous to who the Jets were going to draft. We drafted $anchez, and look what happened. AFC CHAMPIONSHIP BITCHES. Im not going to sit here and act like I expected it, but im effin happy as hell.

This year is different. Draft day is approaching with the NFL Combine only a week away. I want Kyle Wilson. You hear that Mikey Tanns? KYLE FUCKIN WILSON. Dude is beast mode out of Boise State, and would be a monster in our Secondary. So before all the Combine hype, you heard it here first. Kyle Wilson.

Next year the Jets are going to be INSANE. Like, the NFL might put them on every Monday night, because all they want is the Jets. Roger Goodell might contact Woody and ask him for permission to rename the NFL the REX. No more National Football League, we are going to start referring to it simply as, REX. 100 percent Rex Ryan gets his dick wet 1000x more then anyone reading this blog. Its sad. He is 450 pounds of solid awesomeness, but just because he curses, and beats up QB's he gets that elusive super model pussy? WTF??? Everyone tells me that I am funny, hot, and awesome. I just cant seem to do what Rex does. I need a public forum so people can see how awesome I am. End Rant

J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets. All day, er'yday next year. We bringing part of Smurf Turf to our Turf. Kyle Wilson in 2010.

He Shoots, HE SCORESSSSSSS

2010-02-22T12:51:00.003-05:00

So USA's hockey team is much younger this year, and I guess that means they are much better. Last night Canada stepped in front of us, and took a beatdown just like the rest of em. I mean, Canada did you think you were going to stop Jamie Langenbrunner, and Zach Parise? AHAHAHAHA. Much respect to their goaltender (best ever), but he had nothing on Ryan Miller last night. He was stopping everything thrown in front of him. He allowed 3 goals, but he stopped the other 7,424 that were on net. Game opened up with Brian Rafalski putting in his 3rd goal in a row. He later added a 4th. Game winning goal was scored by Langenbrunner though. Dont act surprised. Dude plays for the Devils. Where champions are made. Phil Kessel scored one of the best empty net goals in the world (It's the Olympics vs. the world. SO yea, IN THE WORLD). Obviously, the assist came off a beautiful pass off the boards by ZP9er, Zach Parise kiddddddddd.

Olympic hockey is muuuuuuuch better then the NHL because most games are called by Doc Emerick. He is soothing to the ears, and all his sayings are catchy and official.

Do work USA.

Don't Call It A Comeback

2010-02-21T17:52:00.003-05:00

Seriously, dont. I feel like I have let many people down by stopping the blog. Sorry, I promise all 5 of you fans, I am back.

So many things have happened since I last blogged really. Jersey Shore came and went, the Jets were in the AFC Fuckin Championship, and Hofstra started really shitt, continued to play even shitter, but now have stepped it up.

With regards to the UMV, it was FUCKIN GREAT. I mean everyone should lose their jobs, and decide to do one of those. We balled out, and just had a blast. I tried to keep up with the blogging on the trip, but shit was going down on all angles. Whether it was the girls we were pulling in, or the free tickets we got to most games, it was just awesome. **NOTE** We got 0 girls, but it felt like we got 100's. **

With regards to the Jets. Motherfucking WOW. I mean we knew they were good, but damn they put it on for their city towards the end of the year, and playoffs. Dont give me that bullshit that the Colts packed it in, cause I dont care. As Herm says "You play to win the game. HELLO". We made Curtis Painter look like well, like Curtis Painter. I cant wait till next season. Section 229 Row 12. HOLLA.

Eight of us are heading down to Richmond, VA for the CAA tourney in March. Does Hofstra have a shot? Probably not, but who cares. Richmond is effin fun. Scott and I will be putting our CAAZONE.COM Beer Pong titles on the line, and good basketball and times will be had.

Finally, I hate the Olympics. They make Richard Simmons look straight. On that note, I have to give it up to Team USA Hockey. I dont care about anything else but hockey. Tonight ZP9er and Jamie Langs go up against Canada. USA... ALL DEE WAY

WooooooooW

2010-02-18T13:56:00.002-05:00

I saw this, and I had to put it up. I mean, A: This is the best show in the history or television, and B: This is the best blog in the history of the internet.

The Situation has the best quote on the Soundboard, when he compares his stomach to effin Rambos. This is genius. I am probably not going out tonite, or this weekend. When you find something like this, it makes your life feel worthwhile like, "damn Brian, you are fighting the good fight, and winning"

Yes We're SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

2009-12-02T01:34:00.000-05:00

BEST DAY EVER. We woke up in Creedmore, NC, ate an awesome free breakfast, and then drove 20 minutes to heaven. We arrived at heaven, parked (2 fuckin bucks to park), and walked around a bit. I got my Duke shirt, and then it all started. WE WERE ON THE COURT AT FUCKING CAMERON INDOOR, I repeat, CAMERON FUCKING INDOOR. Can you believe this? Eric and I just walked in like we owned the place. Once I was in, there was no stopping me, I was a man on a mission. We took pictures all over the joint, on Coach K court symbol, at halfcourt, on the bench, and even at the media table. We were like kids in a candy store, but not any ordinary candy store, one that has madd cherry sour shit. We left on the highest of high, our day couldnt get better. Could it?

We hopped in the Forte, did about fourte all the way to Chapel Hill. Let me tell you, this place was nice. I mean, Duke is nice and all, but Chapel Hill is like the Sistine Chapel. We went to the Dean Dome. Our first stop was the ticket office. We didnt expect the game to be sold out, and to our delight, it wasnt. I asked how much tickets were, to which the man replied "$50". I looked at Eric, Eric looked at me, we knew we werent spending that much. We kindly thanked the man, and walked to the car. Went to Franklin Street (Franklin Street is the riot capital of the world after a big North Carolina win. See Franklin Street Fires after their NCAA win, got lunch, got James his damn shot glass, and walked the campus. After the walk, we needed to regroup, and recharge. We decided to check into a hotel. This hotel was not just any hotel though, it was the Michigan St. team hotel. Yea, you heard that right. The Michigan State team hotel. We see all the players, and we are just chillen. As it gets closer to game-time, Eric and I go into full "I aint paying for ticket mode". We see a gentleman in Michigan St. apparel, and I decided to go up and ask him if he had any extra tickets. The man turns to his friend, and says to me "Give me 10 minutes, I have to ask my son." He returns about 10 minutes later with the news of "I have 1 extra". Gives me his business card, and says call me at 1 hour before the game, meet you at will call. We part ways, and then look at the Business Card, its Kenneth Lucas, the father of reigning Big 10 player of the year KALIN LUCAS. ARE YOU SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?????

After all this, we rest up, and get our Michigan State green on aka our Jets shirts. Head over to the Dean Dome and meet Mr. Lucas. Before we can meet up with Mr. Lucas we had bidness to take care of. That was getting another ticket. We park the car, hop out and basically turned out SWAG on. Asked one person, and the dude forked over a free ticket. Last row in the entire stadium, but who cares, our forthcoming ticket makes everything better. We go to the will call window, and call Mr. Lucas. He says to meet him at PLAYERS will call though. Sorry, for a second I forgot EFYS only rolls VIP. We meet him, walk into the VIP elevator, and head to the seats. We told him we wouldnt be sitting next to him, as we have another ticket upstairs, but we appreciate everything he did for us. (Which we do. Kalin Lucas and Mich. St. are our team now. When Kalin gets drafted, thats my effin dude. JJ Redick followed closely by Kalin Lucas.) He hugged us goodbye as if we were friends forever, and wished us good luck with everything on out trip, and in life. That was once again AWESOME. Mr. Lucas, if you ever see this on a search of your name on google or whatever, we want u to know that u are fuckin awesome. Thanks so much. Eric and I decided though we wanted to see what the seats he got us were like, so we ventured down there. They were GReeeeEEEEEEEEAT. The only thing that sucked about it was, the row in front of me had tall people in it. I wanted to ask them to duck down, but Coach Izzo would have gotten mad. You arent supposed to talk to the players. Yea, thats right, the row in front of us was the fuckin BENCH. Picture this, you're in the Dean Dome for the first time ever, and you are seeing a rematch of the Nat'l Championship, you got player tickets, and you're sitting 1 row from the court? Let me ask you this.... ARE YOU SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS??

We once again said goodbye, parted ways, and this time it was for good. we went upstairs and sat in the UNC student section, the last row. No one gave us shit, UNC won, it was an awesome time. End of blog right? FUCK NO

At the end of the game we decided to go down to court level once again and see if we can snag a picture with Dickey V. We get to the court, and take our stance. I feel like we dont have the best shot, since I was the hottest dude in the area, and all the bitches were going to steal all the pictures. I was right. Sluts stole all the pictures. With a last ditch effort, I say "Yo Dickey, can I get a quick picture?" he then reaches into his briefcase, hands me a photo of him that is signed. While that is awesome, I am 25, and only wanted the picture. He then accepts the request, and we are two peas in a pod, I mean honestly for 15 seconds, we were best friends. Thanks to that little whiny bitch in the backround for ruining the picture.

Thats how we fuckin ROLL.

Day 1 In Da Books

2009-12-01T01:37:00.000-05:00

So today started as we departed good ol' Stat Nylan for Hertz Rental Car in North Brunz, it hit us. The UMV has started. We picked up the ill Kia Forte (2010 Kia I might add). We packed up our shit, and hit the road.

On the way to DC we hit Cracker Barrel. This was the first time Eric and I ate at this place. It was ok, nothing spectacular. Eric pissed about 19 times at this place though. After CB we we were in DC in no time. We did the touristy shit. Went to the Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, Air and Space Museum, and finally ate at this local sports jumpoff. It was really good. Minus the rain DC was awesome.

After that, the manly activities came into play. We hit up the Verizon Center for the #14 Georgetown Hoyas and Mount St. Marys. Georgetown smoked em. We obviosly got in for free, and sat second row. Thats how we do here at efyousports.

We jumped in the ride, and 4 minutes in Mikey Fellz hit up the cellie and he told me the good news. The Takeover, Charles Jenkins dropped 38 on Fairfield tonight, as Hofstra prevailed 84-80 at "The Macka".

On that note we hit the road and headed to Chapel Hill. In the car we listened to the Aerial Assault on the Patriots defense. Drew Brees dropped more bombs on the Patriots tonight, then the US has dropped in Iraq in the last 11 years. Colston and Co dickslapped the shit out of the fuckin cheater patriots.

We are now in Creedmore, NC and ready for bed. All and all, we had a SICK day so far, and its going to get better and better as the trip progresses. Holler at us.

Eric and Brian

The Ultimate Man Vacation

2009-11-11T01:49:00.000-05:00

Sorry that you havent heard from us in a while. Eric and I got laid the fuck off. Ya know what though? It's all good. Fuck work.

What I am about to tell you will make you all wish you got laid off. Eric and I planned the ILLEST trip in the land. We are taking the "Ultimate Man Vacation".

What is the UMV you ask? Well, its just the best road trip ever assembled. We are renting a car, most likely from Hertz in North Brunswick (our local road trip jumpoff) and kicking back, and enjoying life.

Our First stop will land us in the mecca of sports, The Meadowlands. It will play host to our first stop on the trip. Jets vs. Carolina on November 29th. We go home, sleep in our beds one last time, then like Michael Bisping after a Henderson punch, WE OUTTTTTT.

Novemeber 30th, we invade the Verizon Center in Washington, DC for Georgetown vs. Mount St. Mary. After that, we head to Chapel Hill (Dec. 1st), to watch number 2 vs. number 4, Michigan State and North Carolinaaaaaaa. Our next host city will be Clemson University (Dec. 2nd), where its always "Miller Time". We're going to watch another Big 10 vs. ACC challenge, as Illinois takes on Clemson at littlejohn coliseum. Dec 3rd is a relaxing day, as we will find ourselves in Marietta, Georgia to watch our beloved Jets steam roll the Bills in Canada. As die hard Jets fans, we dont miss a game, or a snap for that matter. We will be in Mazzy's Sports Bar, as it is the official Jets Fan Club in the Atlanta area.

December 4th, we kick the arena/stadium/coliseum tour back in full gear and head into the dirty dirty. We will watch the Knicks and Hawks from beautiful Phillips Arena (I hope Speedy is still on the team, Hofstra what whattttttttttt). December 5th is a toss up. We would LOVE to go to the SEC championship game in the Georgia Dome, but as we look for tickets, our unemployment checks are lookin' mighty small. If we cant finagle our way into the dome, we will make the trek to Tampa, Florida and hit up the ACC Championship game that night. We will make the call most likely on the 4th as to what our plans will be. December 6th will be an awesome day as we are meeting up with some Hofstra pals in SoBe Miami. We will be grillen, illin, and chillen at Landshark Stadium to watch the Dolphins and Patriots hopefully kill eachother. Its a Sunday night game, so i am sure most of those fuckin' terds down there will be DRUNKKKKKKKKKKKKK. (I hope we dont have to listen to Marc Anthony sing. Also, in pregame warmups I hope Joey Porter doest act like Peezy, and have his jersey all the way up to his nips).

The part that makes this trip Ultimate is that it doesnt stop there. It rolls on, as we have wayyyyyyyyyyyy more games to attend, beers to drink, and chicks to pretend to get. Monday Dec. 7th, we will be going to our first NHL game on the trip. The Panthers will be taking on Edmonton. The 8, 9, 10, we have nothing planned but sitting on the beat, and drinking. The 11th is when the trip kicks back into gear. Miami will be playing host to us for one final night as we will be watching the Heat and Mavericks battle. Dec 12 we are going to play golf in Tampa, and talk about how bad the Jets are going to KILL the Bucs the following day in the New Sombrero. Dec. 13, yea you guessed it. Jets/Bucs. December 14th, we are hitting up FSU. I have seen some chicks from that scool, and ima lookin' and ima likin'. Florida State is going down at the hands of fellow C-A-A school Georgia State. December 15th, we roll into Orlando to watch the Magic and Pacers, before departing back to ATL to meet up with D-Rock for the day. December 16th the duo, becomes a trio as Derrick and us go to G-Tech to watch them take on Arkansas Pine Bluff (real snoozer).

As the trip draws to a close, we have 2 final stops. Dec. 17th we're in Raleigh, North Carolina to see NC-State battle Northwestern. (I wonder if thats part of the ACC/Big 10 Showdown as well?) December 18th, with any luck, we will hit up Duke, and take a tour of the campus, before heading back to Georgetown to watch a G-Town beatdown. Another C-A-A school will be handing out a loss, this time to the Big East, as Old Dominion takes on G-Town.

Our last stop on the trip, is home base, the mecca, The MEADOWLANDSSSSSSSSSSSS. Dec. 20th we watch the Jets (for the 4th time on the trip, 3 live) take on the Atlanta Falcons.

Questions?

Usain Bolts a Daddy! vol. Nuhhh Linga

2009-11-02T20:21:00.000-05:00

Well not quite, but the fastest man on the planet has adopted 3-month-old Cheetah. I mean, it's only right that dude names it "Lightning Bolt". (which he does)

Now, let's get back to breaking fucking records Usain!

-Jumpoff

Peeeeeeeezy

2009-10-30T22:16:00.000-04:00

Joey Porter talking junk for the upcoming game on Sunday. Like Brandon Marshall said "his muscles are popcorn muscles".

I like the Jets this weekend. I think they smack the Dolphins around once and for all. It's a must win. If we lose on Sunday, I think our season is over. Win, and we go into the bye week at 5-3. I like our chances with that record.

Watch Brandon Marshall serve up Porter that fuckin queer.

All Swag Team

2009-10-27T23:13:00.000-04:00

With the NBA season upon us, I decided to give the fans what they have been asking for. I am about to name my 2009-2010 Swag Team.

If I was a fantasy owner (which I am, werd to JJ Rediculous) I would pick all of these guys for my squad. These guys will get your team points, rebounds, and sluts.

Without further adieu:

PG: Travis Diener- Diener hails from Marquette and has gotten me tickets, and visitor passes to many a game. He has a great shot, and not only drops dimes, he married one this offseason.

SG: JJ Redick- This goes without saying, but JJ is a point scoring machine. Every season in the NBA he gets better and better. This year I fully expect him to be an All Star, and maybe even compete for an MVP award. His resume' speaks volumes. Erin Andrews, and countless supermodels support this sharpshooter, as well as efyousports.

SF: LeBron Fuckin' James- WITNESSSSSSSSSSSS ( I would write a full paragraph, but thats pointless, ya'll know how this playboy do)

PF: Chris "Birdman" Anderson- Every game he hustlin'. He blocks shots, pumps up the crowd, and impregnates women wherever he goes. When Birdman enters the room, Birdman ready to fly.

C: Dwight Howard- He is on my fantasy team, and he is the best player in NBA history with braces. Double-Double machine, maybe this year he can get some trip/doubs

Honorable Mention: Eric "Mayne Event" Maynor, Gerald Henderson, Speedy Claxton, Ron Artest.